Tongue Tied
by loyalluv
Summary: Bella is loud&blunt&crude. Emmett is her bro, Jasper is Alice's lover. Edward is Alices bro that Bella has never met. So how is painfully shy Edward gonna handle Alice's crazy ass friends? How is he gonna handle falling in love with Bella?
1. Cheesy goodness

**Another new story!!!!**

**Full Summary-**** Bella is blunt, loud, and crude. Emmett is her brother, Alice is her best friend, Jasper is Alice's lover, and Edward is Alice's brother that Bella has never met. Edward is shy and has trouble expressing how he feels. So how is he going to handle Alice's crazy ass friends? Then what happens when Edward falls in love with Bella? Can he suck it up and tell her or will he always be known as 'That guy' or 'Whats-his-face'?**

**B (POV)**

"Bella where the hell are my Cheetos!" Emmett screamed from the kitchen looking at the spot that once held a bag of cheese Cheetos.

"I don't know!" I said but it sounded more like " I rono!" because of all the Cheetos in my mouth. Emmett came marching into the living room, so as fast as I could I swallowed the cheesy goodness.

"Are you sure you don't know Bella?" He said suspicious.

"Jeebus, can't a girl watch Law and Order without being accused of steeling a bag of chips?" I said while hiding the bag under one of the couches pillows.

"Okay then explain to me why your fingers are orange," he said looking at my crusty orange fingers.

_Shit_

"I don't know what your talking about," I said sounding offended.

"Hand over the chips," he put his hand out and I reluctantly gave him back his chips.

"Your such a cow Emmett!"

"Is that your way of telling me I'm hunky?" he said raising his eyebrows. I laughed, of course he would turn my insult into a complement.

It is sunday, and I'm piss bored.

"When is Alice coming?" Emmett shrugged scarfing down on his chips. Alice and I have known each other since the beginning of college, and we have been pretty tight ever since. Emmett is my brother so I'm forced to know him, but he's not to bad. I guess.

"Honey I'm home!" _Speak of the devil and the fucking devil will come through your door with a lousy Ricky Ricardo impression._

"Yo!" I said not looking up from the T.V.

"Hey Alice! Jasper!" Alice has been with Jasper since after we graduated college which was a year ago. Jasper is a pretty chill dude most of the time, but give him some beers and you got yourself a monkey on crack. We are all pretty close, and probably always will be. Emmett and I are single which means Alice is constantly trying to set us up but they all end up the same way: epic fail. Well not always, rarely I would get good sex out of the deal, but like I said _rarely._ Emmett is a slut. I'm surprised he hasn't caught a disease or something.

"Guess what guys!" Alice said, when Jasper went to the kitchen. We were currently in my house, where Emmett and I lived. Emmett was unemployed and wasn't interested in changing that status, and I am a well known author, known for writing stories that will make you cry and question the sanity of the world. That's right, me Bella Swan, writes deep shit.

My house was a nice three story building in a secluded area. My house had four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a living room, a family room a.k.a the game room, a wrap around porch, and a slamming pool outside , of course a slide, oh and a swing set. One guest room was on the first floor, two were on the second floor, and my bedroom was all by its lonesome on the third floor, which was how I liked it. I never had to worry about hearing things I wasn't suppose to like cough-sex-cough.

Emmett's room is on the second floor and when Alice and Jasper stay over -which is a fucking lot- they use the other room on the second floor, so that room is pretty much theirs.

Alice sat next to me on the couch and I'm not gonna lie, the fact that she's bouncing is getting on my fucking nerves.

"Okay Alice, What?" I asked hoping the bouncing will stop!

"My brother is coming to visit me!"

"And this involves me how?" The way she was looking at me was _very _suspicious

"I need a huge favor Bella!"

"No!"

"But you didn't even hear what I was going to ask!" She pouted

"Fine tell me."

"Can he stay here with us?" she said giving me those damn puppy dog eyes, luckily she has done that shit so many times I have grown immune.

"Hells to the no," I replied

"Puh-puh-please Bella!" she pleaded

"Fuck, fine! For how long?"

"Oh just a month or...three." she whispered

"_What!_"

Then she went into a _very_ detailed story about how since christmas was coming up – it is now October 16- that she would love for her brother to stay until then, since she hasn't seen him in person in about 2 years. I have never met her brother, but I'm pretty sure he's nice. I hope. So I agreed._ I really hope I don't regret this!_ She hugged me and went to call her brother about the good news. Jasper gave me a beer for which I was very grateful.

"Thanks ho," I said taking a big gulp.

"No problem. Um, bitch?"

"Thats right!" I said._ Ah I'm teaching him well._

"Bella?"

"Ya Alice?"

"He's coming Friday!"_ Whoop-de-fucking-doo!_

_***_

**E (POV)**

I really don't like airports. _Where is Alice?_ I let out a relived sigh when I saw her car pull up. I threw my luggage in the back seat and got into the passenger seat.

"Hey Alice, I missed you." I truly did. Phone calls weren't enough.

"Me too Edward! I can't wait for you to meet my friends, oh and Jasper!" Oh ya her boyfriend.

"I'm excited too," I said staring out the window. Unfortunately I'm very shy and I hate it. I'm hoping her friends won't pressure me into talking. I have only seen pictures of her friends that she has sent on e-mail, and they seemed nice. She sent me an individual picture of each, with their names so I wouldn't have to deal with the whole awkward Whats Your Name Again conversation. I wanted to ask Alice if her friend Bella was single because I couldn't help notice how beautiful she was. But being me I won't ask.

We passed by a nice neighborhood and headed to a street that led into the woods. The street went uphill to a beautiful three story house. Wow, this is were Bella lived?

"It's awesome right?" Alice said noticing my awed expression.

"Ya, very beautiful." I grabbed my luggage and I followed Alice to the front door. She unlocked the door with her own key and she let me inside. The kitchen and the living room were connected and the whole place felt very spacious and comfortable. The kitchen had white everything, but with black granite and very expensive looking appliances. The living room had nice crème walls with a very impressive High Definition flat screen.

In the living I recognized Emmett, Jasper, and I must say the very beautiful Bella. Bella was sitting on the couch leaning her head on her hand, Emmett was in a oval wooden chair that had a orange cushion, and Jasper was walking towards us.

"Hello, Edward I presume?"

"Yes, that is me. Hello Jasper." He shook my hand then he gave Alice a kiss on the cheek.

"Everyone my brother has arrived!" She made it sound as if I was a celebrity or something.

"Ah Eddie my man!" Emmett yelled from his chair. I tried to ignore his nick name, hoping that it was a one time occurrence. Bella was still staring at the T.V. Oblivious to the fact that anything else was going on. Alice glared at Bella but she didn't see, but Emmett did.

"Ow! What the fuck you kick me for?" Bella screamed rubbing her leg. He looked at her then at me, she followed his eyes and she finally seemed to recognize she had a visitor.

"This is Bella, but I'm sure you already know that." Alice winked at me. _What was that about?_

"Heeeyyyyyyy....ya I forgot your name," she said nonchalantly

"Um, Edward." I said feeling awkward

"Yaaaaaaaa," she sighed "I'm not going to remember that." she said shrugging. I nodded and looked at my shoes, since I had no idea what to do now. I heard someone cough in front of me alerting me of their close proximity. I looked up to see Bella staring at me with a smirk on her face. "Don't move!" she ordered. My eyes widened as she walked around me, eyeing me up and down.

"Umm," I said feeling VERY awkward

"Shut it and stop fidgeting!"

"Okay." After a few more minutes of her expecting me, she stopped and stood in front of me again. She looked at me as if she was disecting me with her eyes which made me extremely nervous. Then after another minute of that she broke out into a breathtaking grin.

"I have finished my analysis!" Bella screamed happily.

"And..." Alice said smiling.

"Your brother is HOT!" That was when my face got red.

**So what do you think? This chapter was to introduce you to the characters and locations.**


	2. Beer

**Disclaimer-**** I don't own Twilight**

**B (POV)**

Damn! Alice's brother is fuck hot! How come I have never met him before? Alice has been holding out on me. Tisk, tisk, tisk. I mean seriously he is working that bronze colored sex hair of his, he has a bod that screams 'sex me up,' and eyes that made my panties wet! I didn't even know that was possible! Even when his face turned all red from me saying he was hot was a turn on.

Everyone started laughing cause Edward was starting to look like a tomato. A sexy tomato, but a tomato nonetheless. I sat back on the couch while Emmett gave everyone a beer. We were all sitting in the living room with beers as the interrogation was about to start.

"Okay Edward this is how we do. We are gonna ask questions and you are going to answer them," I didn't give him a chance to respond. "Got it? Good." Alice shook her head at me and I just shrugged.

"Wotcha do for a living?" Emmett asked wiggling his eyebrows as if he expected him to be a porn star or something. _Hmm...I wonder..._

"I'm in advertising," he said shifting in his chair. He then said how he was the guy that wrote those annoying jingles that you can NEVER get out of your head, oh and those stupid corny slogans. "What do you guys do?" He looked at everyone.

"Emmett is a professional couch potato slash jerk-off. Alice as you already know works in a fashion magazine, Jasper is a therapist for fucked up people, and me, well I'm an Author." I said summing it up. He nodded and stared at the floor as if it was God or something.

"What are your hobbies?" Jasper asked putting his arm over Alice's shoulder.

"I like to play music, and read mostly." He replied, tracing the beer opening

"What do you read? Porn? Erotica?" I asked. Hey, it's important to know what kind of literature a person is into. If they happen to jerk-off from it, I won't judge.

"U-um n-n-no. Usually the classics." Damn I was hoping for something juicer than that.

"Got yourself a girlfriend Edward?" Emmett asked again wiggling his eyebrows. Alice and I both leaned forward automatically.

I wanna know if this guy is off limits. I chuckled softly, cause him having a girlfriend wasn't going to stop me.

"N-no," He said turning slightly red.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked honestly curious. This hasn't been the first time I saw a hot guy only to find out later that he rooted for the other team. Don't you hate it when that happens?

"No, I like girls." Whats-his-face said shaking his head frantically. I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. Him being gay would have been a major problem. Although the fact that he was so damn shy was definitely going to be a problem. Seeing that he was anti-social made me wonder. I was about to ask him, when I was interrupted by my phone.

_Im Mrs. You want a piece of me?_

_Tryin and pissin me off_

_Well get in line with the paparazzi_

_Whos flippin me off_

_Hopin Ill resort to some havoc _

_End up settlin in court _

_Now are you sure you want a piece of me? (You want a piece of me)_

Yup that's my ring tone. I change it a lot based on my current situation or how I'm feeling. I looked at the caller I.d. _Tyler._

"Yo!" I said

"Hey! Thought you would want to know about a party that's going down tomorrow."

"Fuck ya! When and where?"

"It's at Jessica's house at eight," He replied warily.

"Fuck! It's at that bitches house!" Everyone was looking at me because of my out burst, but fuck I hate that bitch. Stanley and I have always hated each other but since all my friends are her friends and vice-versa we have to see each other. I'll give that girl one thing though; she sure knows how to throw a party. i don't tell her that cause she would never let that shit down.

"Ya..." Tyler said waiting on the verdict.

"No worries. We'll go, but if she does anything I won't hesitate to straighten that bitch out!" Tyler knew I was serious, I was the reason Jessica had to get her third nose job. I laughed, _Good times._

"Thanks Bella! It wouldn't be the same without you."

"Damn straight!" We laughed, then we hung up. "Okay peeps we were invited to a party tomorrow, and yes we are all going!" I shouted, chugging down the remains of my beer.

"Where it at?" Emmett said. Like that fucker cared, as long as there was a Keg and pot, he was down.

"The bitch Stanley's house," he nodded knowing that she had all that an more.

"Ya! Edward your coming too!" Alice said pointing her skinny finger at him. _So that's his name!_ Fuck I need to work on my memory.

"Okay." He nodded not sounding to pleased. Than I pointed to the hallway that held his room and bathroom. He said thank you along with a fuck hot smile. Alice must have noticed how taken I was with him cause she wouldn't stop smirking at me.

_Bitch_

"Oh one last thing," He nodded while rubbing his probably sweaty hands on his knees. "Are you a virgin?" He gasped and his eyes grew wide and they look like they were screaming 'Get me outta here!'

**IMPORTANT!-**** Do you want Edward to be a virgin? VOTE yes or no in a review or a Private message. I will not make him a player because that has been done SO many times, and I don't like Edward being like that. But I'm not sure if I want him to be totally unexperienced. So tell me what YOU want. Do want him to have not even have kissed a girl or do you want him to be completely new to the whole thing? You decide!**


	3. Beer fallout

**Disclaimer-**** S.M. Owns Twilight**

* * *

**Third person (POV)**

Edward looked around the room hoping someone or something would intervene, but he only saw curious and amused faces, eagerly waiting for his reply on his sexual experiences or possibly his lack of. He took deep breaths trying to stop his shaking hands. Not trusting his voice he simply nodded causing Emmett to laugh, Bella to gasp, Alice to become suspicious, and Jasper to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

Although Bella assumed he was, it was still a shock to have it confirmed. Under her shock held a secret wish. To change his virginity status; by her doing. She knew it was a long shot, because if he was still a virgin then it must be precious to him.

Bella wasn't sure if she wanted to take his virginity for the challenge or for the fact that she wanted to be blessed with such a gift.

"Dude, seriously?" Emmett asked amazed that such a thing was possible. Being the usual hormonal teenage boy, Emmett was more than eager to get rid of his virginity and he lost it to the first 'Hot piece of ass' he could get. He now has no idea who she was or even her name, truthfully he doesn't care. So seeing a handsome young man with no sexual experience astounded him. Emmett assumed all teenage boys felt the same as he had at the time.

"Y-yes." Edward said hoping the conversation would go else were. He had no such luck.

"But why?" Emmett said trying to figure it out.

"I don't know how," Edward said as if they were talking about some appliance.

"What do you mean you don't know how? You just put object A into object B!" Bella said eagerly. "Or object P into object P, or object D into object V, or-"

"Bella," Jasper warned trying to get Bella to shut the fuck up. Her eyes were glazed over as if she was picturing every sexual thing that came out her mouth. She probably was.

"Object T into object V, or object M into object D, or object F into object V!" She said with a grin on her face. Edward was confused as to what the letters meant, but he decided he shouldn't ask. He wouldn't want to know. **(I'll put what the letters stand for in the authors note. If you don't want to know, don't read it)**

"Bella!" Alice screamed. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable, she was just beginning to have sexual fantasies that to her dismay wouldn't be satisfied till later tonight.

"Fine, fine." Bella replied leaning against the couch. Just because she couldn't say them out loud; it didn't stop her from thinking about those sexual scenarios.

"Okay moving on," Jasper hoped they would.

They than started talking about who they want to beat up more, Dr. Phil or Matthew McConaughey. Feeling their buzz crashing, they decided to go off to bed. Alice and Jasper's clothes were immediately off as soon as their door closed. Emmett feeling to tired to work his charm on a girl simply looked to his hand for a sexual release while thinking of a girl that he knew if ever mentioned; Bella would throw a fit, and possibly get him castrated. Bella and Edward were doing the same thing, but neither of them knew it. They were both having sexual fantasies of each other.

***

**B (POV)**

Whoop-whoop! Party today and I am fucking excited. I feel like a kid going to Disneyland. We are getting ready and I'm currently trying to look hot. Stupid 'Whats-his-face,' I could barely go to sleep last night, because of him I had to get up in the middle of the night searching for my vibrator.

Wearing dark skinny jeans and a strapless tight fitting black shirt, with my hair in a pony tail, my eyes smoky, my lips red, I was feeling very confident and damn sexy.

I walked into the living room, to see everyone was already set for the party. _Shocking, Alice is ready before me._

"So who's the unlucky bitch driving?" No one ever wants to drive. You know why? Cause then you have to be the fucker that stays sober the entire night, and who wants to do that?

"I'll drive," That one guy whispered. I heard him, barely, but I want him to learn to speak the fuck up!

"What'd you say about my momma?" I asked mockingly offended.

"U-uh no, nothing. I s-simply said I would d-drive. Nothing about your m-mother," He said frantically. Usually I would think the whole stuttering thing was annoying but in this case it was cute.

"Fine, but no drinking or smoking any illegal substances," I said seeing if that would change his mind.

"That's fine," he said with a slight nod.

"Okay then," I said giving him a questioning look. We went into Alice's yellow Porsche, That One Guy was driving, I called shot-gun, Emmett Alice and Jasper were in the back.

When we got there the house was packed, the music was pounding, you could smell weed, and there were beer bottles up the yin-yang on the lawn. _I fucking feel sorry for the person who has to clean this shit up._

We got out of the car and walked up to the front door. In me and Alice's case, we strutted to the door. We didn't bother to knock and we walked in like we owned the place. Music was blaring, people were drunk, and some were passed out in random places. The air was a mixture of sex, beer, weed, and sweat. _I live for this scent._

Emmett went straight to the keg and the tanned blonde next to it. Jasper and Alice went to mingle, hand in hand. Leaving me looking for someone to chat up, and The Dude looking extremely out of his element. I felt bad for him.

"Hey you!" I screamed over the loud music. He turned his head and gave me a shy smile. I gave him a hand gesture to come to me. He made his way over to me, brushing past a few drunks. I leaned towards him and put my lips dangerously close to his earlobe. "Let me introduce you to some people," I smiled to myself as a shiver went through his body. He nodded and I grabbed him by the elbow and led him to were I knew Tyler would be. Just like I predicted Tyler was in Jessica's gigantic living room, on the couch, smoking a blunt. "Tyler!" He looked up at me and he slowly started to recognize me.

"Hey Bella! With a fella!" He started cracking up at his lame joke. I rolled my eyes and dragged E-something to the couch. Tyler looked me up and down and licked his lips, causing E-something to tense next to me. Tyler looked him up and down and just gave him a smile.

"Tyler this is... Umm." _Shit what's his damn name!_ "He's Alice's brother." They shook hands and Tyler gave him another once over.

"Has anyone ever told you, you are seriously hot?" _I know right?_

"Um no, but thank you?" He probably thought Tyler was making fun of him.

"Seriously man, if I didn't have a girlfriend..." He shook his head and let out a deep breath. "The things I would do to you!" I burst out laughing, while Edward blushed a deep red. "But I'll leave the sexing you up to Bella over here." He nonchalantly pointed to me while taking another hit. I decided to go meet some normal people after that, cause Tyler was just reminding me of the thing I couldn't do...for now.

"I'm gonna get us a beer!" _Hopefully then you chill the ef down_.

"Thank you!" He screamed over the music.

"But you only get one cup, remember you're driving!" I winked and walked towards the kitchen. I got two red cups and waited in the long ass line for the keg. Looking around I saw Emmett sucking some poor girls face off, with his hands squeezing her tits. I rolled my eyes and looked the other way.

"Hey Bella!" Jasper walked over to me and gave me a hug, while the people behind me yelled at him for cutting them.

Not many people know that Jasper is my best friend, I mean I love Alice and I've know her longer, but Jasper just get's me.

"Yo man. Where Alice?"

"Off ming-" He was cut off by a girl giving me a soul shattering hug. Thank God she let me go, giving me the power to control my lungs again. She has brown hair with red tips, she was super tiny, had no curves, and her skin was a nice pink.

"Oh my God is that you Bella!" I can see she's a hug first ask questions later kinda girl.

"The very gal," I said proud.

"I haven't seen you, in like, forever! I've missed you so much!" She squealed

"Me too!"

"We must and I mean must catch up later!"

"Fosho, it was so great seeing you!"

"I know right! Well I'll see you later!" She waved goodbye and walked out. Jasper nudged me and gave me a knowing smile.

"You have no idea who that was, do you?"

"Not a clue," I admitted making him laugh really hard.

I finally got my beer, said goodbye to Jasper, and I walked off to find Edward.

The thing that happened next was fucking weird. I walked into the crowded room and my eyes instantly saw his bronze hair, I also noticed the strawberry blonde hair that was very _very_ close to him. In the corner, by themselves, was Tanya and E-something. Tanya was stroking his arm with her left hand, while the other was on his chest. She was laughing and eye fucking him at the same time. Anger surged through me and I held the cups so tight all the beer came out. I dropped the cups, not giving a fuck, and marched over to them.

I was on a mission.

_Oh HELLZ NO!_

**For a while Bella is going to have a hard time remembering Edwards name *sigh*. Wonder if there's going to be a smack down! Okay here are what the letters meant when Bella started to fantasize-**

**P=Penis**

**P=Pussy**

**D=Dick**

**V=Vagina**

**T=Tongue**

**M=Mouth**

**F=Fingers**

**I liked writing in Third person because then you know how everyone feels, so I think that's going to happen more often, but all depends on you guys. If you don't like it tell me!**

**Reviews are lovely and very much wanted!**


	4. Thank the Keg

**Disclaimer-**** I don't own Twilight**

* * *

**B (POV)**

I was walking over to them, my nose was flaring, and my hands were clenched into tight fists.

My fist were tingling; begging to hit something or more specifically _someone_.

And when I say someone I mean a certain bitch with strawberry blonde hair and plastic tits. Who fits that description? Tanya you say? DING-DING-DING! We have a winner folks!

I was so damn close, when fucking Alice stepped in front of me. I tried shoving her out of my way, but she kept me firmly in place. I never understood how her skinny arms could do so much damage.

On Black Friday; bitch goes crazy. There have been many occasions were we got kicked out of the mall for assault.

"Alice move!"

"No way Bella. What's up your ass anyway?" I didn't answer her, instead I looked at Tanya and E-something. Alice followed my eyes, with her hands still holding my shoulders. She grimaced when she saw what I was looking at. Alice sighed and dropped her manicured hands from my shoulders. "I'm taking a big risk of getting your ass sent to jail, but only because I don't want that skank anywhere near my brother."

I smiled at her in thanks, then I continued on my rampage.

Tanya was no way the kind of girl you took home to see the folks, and definitely not relationship material. Men were just a game for her; they were her prey. Tanya was the predator and the men were her all to wiling victims. The only ones who really cared were the ones that expected her undying love. Psh, they should of known better.

Tanya especially liked taken men, it made her feel powerful and superior knowing she can lure any man she pleased.

Tanya's lips were getting way to close to What's His Face, I took great comfort in the fact that he did not look comfortable. Actually he looked very tense and he was looking around the room frantically - probably for help. I would of laughed but I was still in no mood.

I tapped on her shoulder and she reluctantly turned to look at me.

Her face flickered between hate and anger, but then it transformed into a sickly sweet smile. _Ya the bitch hates me too._

"Why hello Tanya, it's such a pleasure to see you again." _Fuck no_

"The pleasure is all mine Bella," She looked me up and down and snickered. _Is she checking me out? _"If you haven't noticed me and Eddie were having a lovely conversation."

The distaste on his face didn't agree with her.

"I did notice, that's why I'm here to interrupt it." _No sense of bull-shitting around_

"Sorry dear. He's mine, now run along now," She waved her hand motioning for me to go away.

I was going to yell at her and introduce her to my fists when I was interrupted.

"Actually Tanya, I'll be leaving with Bella now. Good bye." E-something said hastily, smiling uneasily at her. I smirked at her before walking off with him. I knew for a fact this wouldn't be the last time I saw Tanya, if anything I just made this more interesting for her. I pushed that aside, because I'm at a party damn it! "Thank you Bella, I really needed a rescue back there." He smiled sweetly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh please it's no problem, I would never forgive myself knowing I let you into her clutches," I said honestly. Seriously, who knew how many diseases she has accumulated over the years! "What time is it?"

"12," He sighed not sounding happy about how late it was. This really makes me wonder what he does on the weekends. Knit? Bingo? Stripper poker? Ah, probably not the last one. I was about to say something about him acting like a granny when I saw his face go into shock.

"Hello," I waved my hands in his face but he just kept staring. Fed up of trying to snap hm out of it I looked at what he was staring at and I saw...

_OH MY FUCKING GOD!_

There on Jessica's dinning room table was Jasper in all his shirtless glory. He was swinging his hips and twirling his shirt in the air in his right hand. People were forming a circle around him but allowed him space. _Smart move. Jasper is capable of anything when he's drunk. _It took me awhile to realize that Jasper was singing to none other than a very stunned Alice.

_I love to love you baby_

_I love to love you baby._

Jasper sang while rubbing his bare chest.

_I'm feelin' sexy_

_I wanna hear you say my name boy_

_If you can reach me_

_You can feel my burning flame_

When he said burning flame he cupped his crotch which had me – among many others - cracking up.

_I'm feelin kind of n-a-s-t-y_

_I just might take you home with me_

_Baby the minute i feel your energy_

_Your vibe's just taken over me_

_Start feelin so crazy babe_

_Lately, I feel the funk coming over me_

_I don't know what's gotten into me_

_The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe_

He was swinging his hips and rubbing his chest with his hands, while he threw the occasional wink at Alice. People were putting money in his pockets or stuffing them down his pants. Jasper didn't mind. In fact he liked it. He spanked his ass and jumped off the table.

_Tonight i'll be your naughty girl_

_I'm callin all my girls_

_We're gonna turn this party out_

_I know you want my body_

I thought it was fucking funny how he didn't bother turning nasty girl into nasty boy but when your drunk you don't really think things through. He strutted to Alice; who was sitting in a chair. While I found his dance hilarious – Alice found it sexy. Her eyes were two shades darker in lust.

_Tonight i'll be your naughty girl_

_I'm callin all my girls_

_I see you look me up and down_

_And i came to party_

He moved his hips in a circular motion with his hands up in the air. Jasper then dropped and then – with his ass out – got up slowly.

_You're so sexy, tonight i am all yours boy_

_The way your body moves across the floor_

_You got me feelin n-a-s-t-y_

_I just might take you home with me_

He was now directly in front of Alice singing his lungs out.

_Baby the minute i feel your energy_

_The vibe's just taken over me_

_Start feelin so crazy babe_

_Lately, I feel the funk coming over me_

_I don't know what's gotten into me_

_The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe_

People were cheering and screaming. "Get him a pole!" Tyler screamed.

_Tonight i'll be your naughty girl_

_I'm callin all my girls_

_We're gonna turn this party out_

_I know you want my body_

_Tonight i'll be your naughty girl_

_I'm callin all my girls_

_I see you look me up and down_

_And i came to party_

He turned around so now his back was to her. Alice ran her fingers up and down his spine while he waggled his ass.

_I love to love you baby_

_I love to love you baby_

_I love to love you baby_

_I love to love you baby_

Jasper then grinded his ass against Alice making her moan.

_Tonight i'll be your naughty girl_

_I'm callin all my girls_

_We're gonna turn this party out_

_I know you want my body_

_Tonight i'll be your naughty girl_

_I'm callin all my girls_

_I see you look me up and down_

_And i came to party_

By the end of the song they were making out while their hands touched every part of their bodies. I guess were going to be going home. I told E-something that I was going to find Emmett so we could leave.

I looked everywhere but I couldn't fucking find him. I was walking down the hallway where all the rooms where when I heard screaming.

"Oh Emmett! YES!" I heard thumping so I ran the fuck outta there. Ew effing ew! You know what screw it he can get his own ride! Grabbing what-ever-his-name-is and Jasper and Alice we ran to the car. I got into the passenger seat and quickly put on my seat belt. Jasper and Alice where doing who knows what in the back seat while Edgar? No Elliot? Ah fuck it, while E-something was driving.

I heard moaning and the sound of the leather seats squeaking.

And there was no fucking way I was going to turn around. It was bad enough I could hear them, I really didn't want a visual. Instead of looking at the sexing going on in the back seat I paid attention to how red Ed-something's face was! Jasper and Alice were my best friends and I was uncomfortable so I couldn't imagine how _he _felt. I mean Alice is his sister!

Well I did know how he felt. Hearing Emmett having sex was enough to make me wanna vomit.

I patted his right arm softly trying to get him to relax. He was holding on to the steering wheel so tight I was worried it might break. I raised the volume on the stereo – that thankfully overpowered the moans.

Ed-something smiled lightly and his face lost some of its red.

Needing to focus something I took the time to appreciate Ed-something's Hot Bod. He was wearing a gray thin jacket with a black fitting T-shirt and navy blue jeans. His shirt was tight enough to reveal his strong chest and is that – gasp – possibly a six NO an eight pack! Holy shit! My mind was already coming up with plans to get rid of all of his shirts or at least catch him without one.

Maybe all of his shirts will magically get torn up or tun a bright shade of pink. OOORRR I could _accidentally _walk in on him in the shower! Oooohhh I really like that idea. Hopefully he would be taking a hot shower _mmmm I can picture it now... the steam surrounding his hot body while he runs his soapy hands down his chest towards his -_

"Bella?" Ed-something said taking me out of my fantasy. He was looking at me with concern in his eyes. My eyes however were full of lust.

Damn he's too tempting for his own good.

"Yes?" I said biting my lip to keep from giving him a blow job while he's driving.

Wow a man has never giving me such strong reactions before.

"U-uh. What are y-you staring at?" His blush was returning causing me to chuckle.

"Want the honest answer?"

"Y-yes."

"I was fantasizing about you in the shower," I said nonchalantly. He was full on red now. Is it weird that I find that cute?

"T-t-t-thank you?" He said unsure on how to answer to what I said. I shrugged and continued to check out the rest of his anatomy. We finally made it home, but we didn't bother telling Alice and Jasper so we just left them in the back seat doing the dirty. I opened the door and was welcomed with the smells of home.

I really do love my house.

"Hey wanna watch a movie with me?" I asked not feeling at all tired.

"S-sure. I would love to." He said with a smile. I told him to change into pajamas so we would be more comfortable he nodded and went to his room while I went to mine. I contemplated between lingerie or regular pajamas. Better go with the pj's, I don't want to freak him out. So I just wore a baggy black V-neck with girls boxers that had thin blue and green lines going through them. The boxers went mid thigh so I doubt he'll freak out.

I waited till I heard Alice and Jasper stumble into their bedrooms before I left to the living room. Ed-something was already sitting on the couch watching television. I laughed when I noticed he was wearing a white T-shirt with flannel pj's that also had blue and green lines going through them.

He smiled when he noticed the same thing. I plopped next to him on the couch and smiled at him. "So what are watching?"

**E (POV)**

"Whatever you prefer." Anything she wanted to watch I would go for. It was weird the things Bella made me feel. I'm not going to lie, Bella intimidates me. A lot. But she also makes me laugh, and makes me feel attractive. Sure many girls have shown their interest but they always made me feel cheap and dirty, unlike Bella she's definitely something else. Bella always says what she's feeling and is not afraid to say what she's thinking about me.

When she mentioned that she pictured me in the shower of course I blushed, but I also pictured the same thing except I pictured Bella and I _together _in the shower. Which is odd because I've never thought about a girl that way.

But Bella was not your ordinary type of girl. I loved her long mahogany hair and the way you could see the natural red highlights in the sun. It amazed me how delicate her creamy skin looked, and how naturally pink her lips were. Her lips were so pouty and plump and were even more beautiful when stretched into a smile. Her eyes were just...wow. I couldn't exactly pinpoint their color. Honey? Hershey's chocolate? Almond? They were just so pure.

Personality wise Bella was like no one I have ever met.

"Okay let's watch...um. Oh I know!" she said as she jumped off the couch and towards the DVD rack.

I chuckled at her sudden excitement.

I felt like such a perv watching her hips sway side to side as she walked. My penis was hardening when I noticed how her mile long legs led to her round firm butt. To keep her from noticing I put one of the couch's pillows on my lap. She grabbed a DVD case and went to the DVD player to put in the disk and came back to the couch. She pressed the menu button on the remote so it went straight to the menu for Mamma Mia. I raised my eyebrow at her and she just shrugged with a cute smile on her face.

Not to far into the movie I felt Bella scoot closer to me, making my heart race. I felt her body's warmth on my left side. I swallowed nervously when I felt her leaning closer to me.

I heard Bella yawn loudly and then I felt her arm around my shoulder.

"Shouldn't _I _be doing that to _you?_" I asked while laughing. Bella never ceases to amaze me.

"Well it's not like you were going to do it." She had a point. Feeling oddly bold I wrapped my left arm around her waist. "That's more like it!" she smiled in approval. I smiled back feeling very comfortable with her.

She leaned against me as we watched the rest of the movie.

Well I watched _her_ more than the movie. Bella was far more entertaining. Her facial expressions were adorable and I chuckled when she sung along with the movie, and her comments always made me laugh. I felt her snuggle deeper into my side and let out a content sigh, I looked to see a sleeping Bella. I smiled and kissed her quickly on the head. I held her tighter to me not wanting to lose her warmth or the scent of strawberries, freesias, and the fresh scent of rain that came off her skin.

All of this was so weird to me. I have never been so close to woman that wasn't family before, but this just felt _right._ And the strange electricity that was going through my body from her touch was exhilarating and pleasant.

I liked Bella Swan and that really scared me.

**I think Edward is cute and even _he _has pervy thoughts - he is still a man**** : ) And did you notice that Bella knows one more letter of Edwards name! It's progress! What did you think of Jasper's sexy dance? Remember he was drunk. And I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! I also need a Beta! So if your interested PM me.**

**Please Review!!!!!**


	5. French Toast

**Disclaimer=I don't own Twilight**

**Got me a Beta! Team Edcob 4 life – thank you! Lol check out her stories!**

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**B(POV)**

"Bella," Some fucker said in a soft voice. Can't they see I'm trying to sleep here? "Bella," the girls voice said a little louder while shaking me gently. If this bitch doesn't stop shaking me I'll - "Bella get up!" Ah, it's Alice. Trying to ignore her I snuggled further into – wait what the hell is that? "Bella get your big ass up!" Alice screamed.

_I don't have a big ass! Do I?_

This time I opened my eyes and I saw a white shirt. I looked up to see Ed-something rubbing his eyes. _What the?_ He looked at me and he also noticed how we were snuggled together. He blushed a cute red and did his best to avoid my eyes. I chuckled at his reaction, but then I heard Alice giggle.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Oh nothing," Alice said in a taunting voice while walking towards the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. Then I realized I was still in _his _arms.

I coughed and he finally met my damn eyes.

"U-uh s-so sorry," he said letting me go. We sat up as the awkward silence consumed us but then I smelled something.

Not just any something.

I smell Food!

**E (POV)**

When I was trying to get my face back to normal I saw Bella take one large whiff.

_ What is she doing?_

Emmett ran down the stairs as if he was on fire. He stopped abruptly at the doorway, and just like Bella took a big whiff.

"French toast!" Bella and Emmett screamed at the same time.

They ran towards the kitchen with an amazing speed. _They really are siblings._

I smiled and walked a slow pace to the kitchen. I stood at the doorway to observe the humorous scene before me. Bella and Emmett were sitting at the kitchen table devouring piece after piece of french toast. Alice was also sitting at the table but was eating at a much slower pace and only had one piece. It was hard for her to eat because she kept laughing at Bella and Emmett. Jasper was standing in front of the stove making the french toast itself.

"Good morning Edward. Would you like some breakfast?" It was amazing looking at the sober Jasper compared to the drunk one. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or is it Dr. Hyde and Mr. Jekyll? Ah, forget it.

Either way, ever since the party, I can't look at Jasper the same way.

"G-good morning. Y-yes please." I whispered, he didn't hear me so I nodded.

I went to the cabinet and grabbed a plate. I went to Jasper and held up my plate as he slipped a piece of french toast onto it.

I inhaled the aroma from the french toast causing my mouth to water.

Jasper noticed what I was doing and chuckled. I blushed and thanked him quietly.

"Your welcome. French toast is the only thing I can make that's edible. I am proud to say that I have perfected it." His face was full of pride. I smiled and sat down next to Bella on the kitchen table. I was amazed that someone so small could eat so much! Emmett I understood – he's huge! Bella was so tiny and had a – I must admit – beautiful body. So where did all the food she ate go?

"I wish I could eat like Bella and still have her hot bod." Alice said looking at Bella with awe.

Bella looked up when she heard her name, but just as quickly went back to eating.

"It's amazing. Does she work out?' I said leaning towards Alice. Alice was my sister and the only one I could really talk to, but there are somethings I can't even tell Alice, and I still don't feel entirely comfortable with her.

That was what I wanted most – to feel completely comfortable with someone. I wanted to be able to tell a certain someone anything and everything. Every secret, fear, and dream was something I wanted to be able to trust someone with. I have yet to find this person.

"Bella? Puh-lease, she is a major couch potato. You can't get her lazy ass to do shit!" Alice said rather loudly. Bella took her stunning brown eyes from her plate and glared at Alice who just smiled angelically at her. Bella rolled her eyes and smiled.

I chuckled when I saw syrup all over her chin and upper mouth, with powdered sugar on her nose. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I would of looked away but her eyes grabbed hold of me and refused to let go.

And I didn't want them to.

She looked back down at her plate while touching the edge of her chin, she laughed when she felt the syrup.

I smiled and ate my breakfast.

"Hey Emmett I got a call from a girl askin' for ya." Alice smiled at Emmett who all of sudden looked nervous.

"Oh, ya? Um actually that reminds me... I'm gonna introduce you guys to someone later on today." He said sounding wary.

When Emmett said this Bella was drinking her orange juice that – just now – flew out of her mouth and onto the table.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me Em!" Bella screamed, shock written all over her face.

"Yep, I'm serious." He pushed his food away as if he suddenly lost his appetite, which was something I thought was impossible.

"What's her name?" Alice eagerly asked.

He whispered something but none of us heard him.

"I'm sorry, what?" Alice said leaning closer to him. He said it louder but we still couldn't understand what he was saying. "Emmett! Cut the crap and just tell us her goddamn name!" Alice was getting more and more impatient.

"It's lauren okay!" The room went silent as we let ourselves digest the news. Well there wasn't much for myself to digest.

I didn't know this girl. Never heard of her.

"Wait a minute. Was she the girl you were fucking last night?" Bella said.

I couldn't really tell what she was feeling at the moment – so many emotions were crossing her face.

"Ya..." Emmett mumbled. Then when I least expected it Bella started to laugh. Hard. She was holding on to her sides as she filled the kitchen with the sounds of her beautiful laughter.

"Holy shit! You fucked Lauren!" Bella said while laughing.

"Ya, what of it?" Emmett said getting defensive.

"Nothing man." She said her laughter gone but she still had a huge smile on her face. _Beautiful. _"But you need to get your shit checked."

"What the fuck are you talking about!"

"I'm just saying Lauren has been around the block to many times, if you get what I'm sayin'" Bella said shrugging. Emmett glared at her but he cracked a smile he was trying to hold in.

He said that she was gonna come around 3 so to be ready. Bella just shrugged but I could tell something was on her mind. While Alice and Jasper looked at her with worried faces.

_What's that about?_

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_**I know you guys are saying "Lauren? WTF?" You'll see! Okay I wanted to include the meeting with Lauren but it would have been mega long. Are you wondering why it's Lauren and not Rosalie? You'll find out : ) Lauren is definitely an interesting character. Not the brightest crayon in the coloring box if you know what I mean. Next chapter will be uber long! I promise!**_

_**If you review you get a preview of the next chapter!**_


	6. Olive

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight**

**Thanks a ton Team Edcob 4 life!(Beta!)**

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**E(POV)**

"Well I'm off to take a shower!" She was walking away and I felt a strange tugging sensation in my chest. As if my heart was asking me to follow her. _Weird. _She turned around and looked at me with mischief in her eyes. "Wanna join me?" She asked seductively. I gasped and I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor.

"I'm in," Jasper said nonchalantly making Alice hit him in the arm. "You know I'm just kiddin' darlin'," He said in his southern accent.

"Oh I know. I hit you cause she was obviously talking to me. Right Bella?"

"Hellz ya Alice! Can't get enough of that!" She looked at Alice and licked her lips.

"Sorry Bell-Bell, she's mine!" Bell-Bell? Jasper held onto Alice tightly making her squeal. Bella rolled her eyes.

"Oh please Jazzy. If I wanted her I could have her." She made a kissing gesture towards Alice.

"It's true Jasper." Alice smiled while returning the gesture. Jasper rolled his eyes, but smiled lovingly at Alice.

_I want that._

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

We were all in the living room waiting for this Lauren person.

Emmett kept stealing glances at his sister who was just staring at the television as if it was a difficult math equation. Alice was cleaning the kitchen and Jasper was sitting in the recliner.

Then the door bell rang.

"Um, I'll be getting that." Emmett rushed to the door.

Alice came back and all of just looked at Bella.

From what Alice and Jasper told me – Bella hasn't always had the best reactions when it comes to Emmett's choices in girls. They have a rule. Emmett has to approve of Bella's choices before they become boyfriend and girlfriend and Bella has to approve of Emmett's choices. According to Alice that almost never happens. Emmett is way to over protective and Bella has a habit of scaring away Emmett's choices.

Jasper told me that it was only a problem in high school because once they hit college they never had serious relationships, using Alice's words they only had 'good fucks' so were all interested to see Bella's reaction to Emmett bringing a girl for the first time in years – well for relationship purposes.

"Emmy Poo!" We heard in the back round. Jasper and Alice started laughing while Bella just looked annoyed.

Then, Emmett came in hand-in-hand with a girl that kept giggling.

She had blonde hair – with black roots

Tanned skin – she's orange

Big breasts – there's no way those are natural.

"So guys this is Lauren." Emmett said as if he wasn't happy that she was here.

Alice was the first to greet her.

"Hey I'm Alice!" Alice stuck out her hand and shook it with Lauren's, but I noticed Alice rubbing her hand against her pants afterwards. Jasper said a similar greeting but with much less enthusiasm, and also shook her hand.

"H-h-hello." I nodded keeping my distance. Her eyes raked over my body making my body tense. Bella blocked her view – thank God! - and stood in front of me.

"Oh hey! Um..." Lauren looked deep in thought.

Lauren held out her hand but Bella just looked at it. Bella furrowed her eyebrows until Lauren dropped her hand.

"This is my sister Bel-"

"Wait let me get this!" She stomped her foot like a child in a tantrum. Bella raised her eyebrow and frowned.

She was not impressed.

"The name is Bella. Would you like me to say it slower?" Bella asked

"Nah it's okay. I got it!" Then she giggled. I heard Bella mutter something I think she said 'what do you want a cookie?' but I'm not sure.

"Well let's go out gang!" Emmett let out a nervous laugh and left with Lauren who wouldn't stop giggling.

Once they were gone everyone let out there opinions.

"If she giggles one more time I swear to God I will cut the bitch!" Bella clenched her fist. I had a strange urge to comfort her.

"I was afraid that by touching her I would turn orange!" Alice screamed from the kitchen – she was currently washing her hands. When she came back she was drying her hands with a paper towel. "Did you see her boobs! They were huge! I'm surprised she could keep her balance."

"I know right! Her boobs were pulling me towards her, it's like they had there own orbit!" Jasper said.

"This doesn't make any sense!" Bella said pacing around the room. "I know Emmett. He isn't into the whole dumb blonde shit. Even _he _has standards! Yes, I know he does dig the blondes, but the girl is special. I don't mean like talented special. I mean short-bus special. He can have sex with her all he wants, even though he's risking getting some kind of sexually transmitted disease. But I know for a fucking fact that he would never date someone like her. He's hiding something or he has an ulterior motive. But what!"

Is it me or does she look cute when she's in deep thought? _Why am I thinking like this? _I shook my head to clear those kind of thoughts. I shouldn't have these thoughts. Not only could Bella never feel the same, but I doubt _I_ could ever act on them.

We all got into Alice's Porsche and headed towards the Olive Garden. When we got there Emmett and Lauren where already seated and waiting. Lauren waved her hand in the air wildly mouthing the words 'here, over here' did she not understand that we saw them already? Looking at how she was now standing and _still _waving her hands I realized she didn't.

"Hey guys!" Lauren greeted when we took our seats, Emmett didn't look up from the menu.

Jasper was sitting on Emmett's right, then Alice then sat next to Jasper, Bella sat next to Alice, and I sat next to Bella. The good thing was that Bella was on my left. The bad thing was that Lauren was on my right.

We all ordered are food, so while we waited Lauren decided to entertain us with her stories.

"I was so scared when I was at the mall one time! Okay so I'm on the escalator, right? And then!" - dramatic pause - "The power went out!" She made it sound as if she had a near death experience. "I thought I would be stuck there forever!" When she said that they all laughed out loud. I chuckled softly to tried to keep my laughter to myself. Apparently I didn't hide it well enough because Bella looked at me and smiled. My breath hitched and I quickly averted my eyes to the table.

Lauren was confused by our reactions, so she decided to tell another. But her story was interrupted by the server.

We all got our food when the waiter asked Lauren something.

"Would you like your pizza cut up into six or twelve pieces?" He asked. Lauren ordered pizza.

"Six! There is no way I could eat twelve!" She giggled. The waiter looked like he was holding back his laughter while he cut the pizza into six pieces. _For that he deserves a big tip. _

"You are so lucky your pretty." Bella muttered. Alice hit her in the back of the head rather roughly which I noticed is something that happens a lot.

Bella leaned closer to me so that her plump lips were an inch away from my ear. "Do you think stupidity is contagious?" She said, her warm breath hitting my neck and ear softly. Her breath was warm but it didn't stop the shiver that went through me. Not able to form an answer with my mouth I simply shook my head no. She chuckled and went back to her food.

Lauren excused herself to go to the bathroom saying "The potty awaits!" Bella was going to say something but Alice hit her before she could.

"See this just proves my point!" Bella said throwing her hands in the air when Lauren was out of ear shot.

"What point?" Jasper asked eating some of his salad.

"That only bad things happen when guys think with there dicks!" She said exasperated. Alice almost spit out her wine.

"Here have some of this. Maybe it will calm your ass down." Alice said giving her the bottle of white wine. Bella grabbed it and her glass and poured a _very _tiny amount of wine in it. Alice, Jasper and Emmett noticed this and were shocked.

"Wow Bella. I'm proud of you." Jasper said, Alice nodded.

"Thanks." Bella then grabbed the wine bottle and began drinking it instead of the wine in her glass.

"Should of known," Alice said shaking her head. Jasper smiled and continued with his salad.

"What! At least I'm not gonna drink that." Bella said pointing to the wine glass. "Still don't get the appeal of the dumb blond."

"Bella that is so stereotypical!"

"Why? I don't think all blondes are dumb. Just _that_ one." She said motioning towards the bathrooms. Emmett remained oddly silent, which was another thing I thought he wasn't capable of. I think Bella noticed as well because she wouldn't stop staring at him. He started shifting under her gaze or should I say glare? I looked at the way her eyes were narrowed and how her lips were in a tight frown.

Yup, glaring.

The rest of the lunch consisted of Bella not-so-subtly making fun of Lauren and her intelligence, well her lack of. We left to go back to the house while Emmett went to go take Lauren home. Bella stomped her way into the house while the rest of us followed in a less angry fashion. I was worried about how this was affecting Bella, while Alice was enjoying her reaction to Lauren.

Emmett came back and walked into the living room were we all are currently sitting, waiting for him.

"So..." Emmett said with his hands in his pockets.

"Fuck no. How can you even imagine that I would approve of her! Any other girl I would gladly take over Lauren." Bella said. Emmett let out a sigh of what appeared to be relief.

Strange.

"Thank God! That is what I hoped you would say! Okay there's something I need to tell ya. Well mostly Bella." He said smiling brightly for the first time since Lauren came. In his eyes were also hope. But for what?

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**Reviews keep Lauren away : )**

**Sorry for the cliffie! What do you guys think Emmett is gonna say? And how is Bella gonna react?**

**Sneak peek for those who review!**


	7. Vodka

**Okay I _changed the date_****. It's now closer to christmas in this chapter. **

**Oh translations**** are on the bottom!**

**I do not own Twilight**

**My (awesome) Beta - Team Edcob 4 life**

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**Judas Priest~ You got another thing coming**

_If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain_

_Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again_

_Out there is a future waitin' to be had_

_You'll think I'll let it go your mad_

_you got another thing comin'_

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**E (POV)**

"Well?" Bella said tapping her foot impatiently.

"The girl I'm really dating is fosho not Lauren." Emmett sighed, relieved at just the thought of not dating that girl. I don't blame him. "I brought her here so you could see that I could do a hella lot worse." Emmett stated, sounding proud of his plan.

"Okay Emmett now I'm really fucking curious. Who is the damn girl!" Patience was never Alice's strong point. "An this better be the actual one, I don't think I can handle another fake one" Alice said bouncing. I was quite curious as well. I mean to go through all this trouble; she must be something to him.

"It's…its Rosalie." The room went quiet and I have no idea why. I looked at the others to see them all staring at Bella with worry etched into their expressions. I focused on Bella's beautiful porcelain face to see it turning red - in anger.

"_Qué! Su! Estás saliendo con su puta! A esa perra que me hace miserable! ¿Cómo pudiste? Te dije que odiaba a esa perra_!" She screamed. She speaks Spanish? When did this happen?

"Bella! Bella! Calm the fuck down!" Emmett screamed, grabbing a fist full of his hair.

"_Me? No te atrevas a decirme que me calme! ¡Bastardo egoísta! Fuck you! Me voy a mi cuarto_!" She stomped up the stairs leaving them baffled. And me almost having an accident in my pants - Bella scared me outta my wits.

What does that say about me?

_ It says I'm pathetic._

"I wish one of us knew how to speak Spanish." Alice muttered. Jasper and Emmett nodded in agreement.

"I never heard her speak Spanish before." I whispered. It's impressive really.

The way those words rolled off her tongue were beautiful and _alluring_, but when said in anger it was quite frightening.

"She only speaks it when she's really angry or she doesn't want us to know what she is saying_ or_ if she just wants to make fun us." Jasper shrugged.

I muttered a low 'wow' but it was to low for anyone to hear.

"Maybe I should go check on her." Jasper suggested while looking at the ceiling, as if he could see her through the cement floors.

Emmett was already gone to who-knows-where. I hope he wasn't doing anything rash.

"Nah. You should let her cool do-" Alice was interrupted by a still _very _red Bella.

She looked so cute when she was angry, yet very threatening. I need to remember not to get on her bad side.

"_Ese estúpido hermano mío! Rubia tonta después de que Dick mi hermano! ¿Quién se cree que es_? " Bella screamed, going into the kitchen. I spoke Italian so I understood little bits of what she was saying, but I couldn't really piece the sentences together. I would of found it humorous if she wasn't so angry... and if I wasn't so afraid.

She came back with a full Vodka bottle in hand, which she immediately started to chug down.

_I hope she isn't aggressive when she's drunk_

"Bella slow down." Alice warned. I agreed but why would she listen to me?

Bella took another gulp and shook her head angrily.

"Stupid idiot. Fucking the spawn of Satan." Bella said in English. Jasper chuckled at what she said, making Bella glare at him. He immediately shut up. Wise man.

Who was this Rosalie and why does Bella hate her so much? Alice and Jasper noticed that she wasn't going to calm down anytime soon so they left.

Leaving me.

Here.

Alone.

With Bella.

An angry Bella.

I can barely handle the _regular_ Bella!

When they left, Bella was breathing heavily, and her red face was fading. Bella was almost half way through the Vodka bottle. I wanted to take it away from her but I valued my life too much. She looked at me and then all the red faded away, her angry expression was replaced with a thoughtful one. She put the Vodka bottle down, then walked up to me and held out her hand.

Her small hand silently asking for mine.

"Come with me." She said in soft voice. When she spoke like that it reminded me of floating on the softest cloud. This tone was completely different compared to the one she used not to long ago. I nodded but I wasn't sure if I should grab her hand or not.

_What if she tries to break it off?_

But I really want to. She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand and led me outside. It was nighttime already and the wind was cold. Christmas was coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm glad that I can spend it with my sister…and Bella. We were just walking down the hill when I noticed she was shivering – Bella wasn't wearing a jacket.

I took of my jacket letting the cold air hit my arms and gently put it over her shoulders. Bella's face lighted up like a christmas tree and she looked at me with a beautiful smile that would make an angel jealous.

"Thank ya! But now you'll be cold." I merely shrugged. I just needed _her _to be warm. Bella sighed and before I knew it she was hugging my side. Her arms were around my waist and her head was on my shoulder. "Now we both can be warm." Bella said. I felt my face grow hot so I knew I was blushing.

I tried to remember couples that I've seen in movies or in real life to see what I was suppose to do. Then I just went on instinct. I wrapped my right arm around her shoulders and held her to me tightly. It amazed me how perfectly she fit in my arms. My lips tingled because I wanted to kiss her head and smell her hair. There are two reasons why I can't do that.

1. _Again _I value my life to much

and

2. I don't want to be introduced to her fist

The electricity she makes me feel was flowing through us, keeping us warm.

_Take deep breaths, Edward. Deep breaths._

"_La tua bella_." I whispered because it was true and because she wouldn't know what I was saying.

"_Anche voi_," I gasped. She spoke Italian too? Then th-that means she understood what I said! Oh God! "Thank you. The only person who has ever called me beautiful was my dead grandmother and she was practically blind. She also had the habit of calling me Michael which was her dead husband, so I don't think I should of paid to much attention to her opinions."

"That's a shame. You should be reminded that your beautiful everyday." Stupid word-vomit. Don't hurt me Bella!

"Oh please," Bella scoffed. Well at least she didn't find what I said awkward. We walked back to the house in comfortable silence. When we got inside we, unfortunately, got out of our embrace leaving me missing her warmth. She handed me my jacket and again said thank you. After telling her it was my pleasure we said good night to each other.

"I'm glad your…better." I said before we left to our rooms, with a tiny smile.

"Vodka helps." She said with the same tiny smile.

"Good night Bella."

"Night... er... you." With that she ran up the stairs. I stood there confused, pondering her words. You? I shrugged and walked down the hall that led to my room.

I went to my room and changed into my flannel pajama's.

I grabbed my jacket and was so happy that her strawberry and vanilla scent was on it, mixed with mine. The best smell in the world.

When I went to sleep Bella again filled my dreams. I wouldn't have it any other way.

**B (POV)**

Vodka can do wonders! But nothin' can help you like a dose of Ed-something.

_Ed... something_

The things that boy makes me feel. He's just so amazingly hot, but so shy. I guess I like it better this way. His virginal ways are _frustrating_ but very refreshing. _Which reminds me I haven't had sex in a long ass time! _Well anyway, it was his timid self that was able to calm me down.

But I still can't believe Emmett. Rosalie of all fucking people!

Hate that bitch. Fine, if she wants to be part of the fucking family then she has to deal with me. I'm sure as hell not gonna make it easy on her. Let's see how long it takes for her to crack.

Ha ha crack.

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_Qué! Su! Estás saliendo con su puta! A esa perra que me hace miserable! ¿Cómo pudiste? Te dije que odiaba a esa perra_ - What! Her! You're coming out with this bitch! A bitch that makes me miserable! How could you? I told you I hated that bitch

_Me? No te atrevas a decirme que me calme! ¡Bastardo egoísta! Fuck you! Me voy a mi cuarto_ - Me? Don't you dare tell me to calm down! Selfish bastard! Fuck you! I'm going to my room

_Ese estúpido hermano mío! Rubia tonta después de que Dick mi hermano! ¿Quién se cree que es - _That stupid brother! Dumb blonde after my brothers Dick! Who does she think she is?

_La tua bella –_ Your Beautiful

_Anche voi - _You too

**Aw, Edward is smitten with Bella. Now we need Bella to feel the same way.**

**Edward hasn't really noticed that Bella has never said his name or the fact that she doesn't know what it is.**

**Oh and Merry Christmas!**

**Reviews give you a dose of Ed-something!! : D**


	8. Captain Crunch

**Hello Lovely readers! Sorry for the super late update!!!!! RL is a bitch. Thank you everyone who reviewed, you make me so undeniably happy.**

**IMPORTANT**** –**** As you know Edward has a crush on Bella – no he doesn't love her. . . yet. But Bella doesn't have a crush on Edward. I know shocking, but it's true. She is physically attracted to Edward and it's gonna take a while for dear Bella to grow an emotional attachment, well more like it's gonna take her a while to ****_realize _she has emotional feelings for him. Just thought you guys should keep that in mind.**

**Disclaimer****- I don't own Twilight**

**My (awesome) beta – Team Edcob 4 life**

**Translations on the bottom!**

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**Faber Drive ~ Tongue Tied**

_I need a little more luck than a little bit_

_Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet_

_Cause every time that I try I get tongue tied_

_I need a little good luck to get me by this time_

_I stare up at the stars_

_I wonder just where you are_

_Your feel a million miles away_

_(I wonder just where you are)_

_Was it something I said?_

_Or something I never did?_

_Or was I always in the way?_

_Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?_

**Seriously listen to this song. It describes Edward perfectly!**

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**B (POV)**

It has been a week since my oh so lovely brother – sarcasm – has mentioned he is dating that stupid bitch Rosalie. Emmett hasn't brought her over and he hasn't made any plans too, because he probably wants to keep her face intact.

If I see her, that won't be the case.

Another interesting change has had to do with Ed. . . gah, forget it! Anyway, Ed-something has become even more distant which was something I thought was fucking impossible. So while he's acting like a hermit, I've been working on a new book. I'm really just working on the outline right now, so I don't have any actual chapters done yet.

Alice and Jasper haven't been around that much, since they have jobs too. They sleep in their apartment in the weekdays and sleep over here during the weekends, but no matter what Ed-something is always here. Keeping to himself of course.

But I can't really blame him. I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around. Why, you ask? Because I am sexually frustrated. I haven't had sex in almost two months and it's really starting to get to me.

Maybe that's why Ed-something is hiding, because he senses that I'm thinking about jumping him and touching every inch of his hot body. Yes, I have thought about it. Wouldn't you? I thought so.

"Oh Bella..." I heard someone walk through my door and into my room. I buried myself deeper into the sheets of my bed, as I closed my eyes tightly. Only one person is brave enough to enter my room. Alice. "Come on lazy, wakey-wakey!"

"Fuck off! It's saturday, can't you let me sleep woman?" Alice and I have a love-hate relationship. Sometimes I wanna hug her and thank her for being awesome, but sometimes I want to knock her out. Like right now.

"It's twelve in the afternoon! How much more sleep can you possibly need." Alice asked. I ignored that question because it was stupid. You can never have enough sleep. "Your so stubborn!" That's right, give up. I win!

"What the fuck!" I screamed, when Alice yanked the blanket off of me, the cold air assaulting my body.

"Get your nice ass out of bed!" Alice smirked, holding my blanket triumphantly.

"I do not have a nice ass!" I said. Why the fuck was she checking out my ass?

"Yes you do. Guys like to look at it and grab it." This is true.

"Alice you better go to sleep with one eye open. Otherwise don't be surprised when you never wake up!" This girl is seriously pushing it.

"You are so much like Emmett. It's sad." She said as she walked out taking my fucking blanket with her. I groaned when my feet hit the floor, I stumbled into the bathroom that was connected to my master bedroom and did my business. I took a shower to calm myself before I went to deal with Alice. I got out feeling refreshed and went to go hunt down an outfit. When I walked into my room I saw that my bed was remade, and an outfit was already prepared for me. I should wear something different just to piss off Alice, but the outfit she picked out was really cute.

It was a purple strapless shirt, it clung to my chest but the rest flowed. She paired it with tight black skinny jeans, with ballet flats. For accessories, she placed several black metallic bangles with black studs for earrings. I got dressed, put my hair down so that it was in it's natural curly state and ran downstairs.

"Sup." I said gravely to Jasper, Alice and Ed-something in the living room - where they were lounging - while I went to the kitchen to get me some grub. I was in no mood to cook so I just made myself a bowl of Captain Crunch, cause I love me some Captain in the morning. Bowl in hands, I walked back into the living room and sat on the couch.

Edmund? Edford? Well what's-his-face fidgeted away from me, and it's weird because I felt – rejected. I shook my head slightly at that ridiculous thought and continued to eat my fuck-awesome cereal.

"Bella," Jasper sighed. "Emmett told us to tell you something, well to warn you I guess."

"What?" I asked with my mouth full. Aren't I classy?

Jasper took a deep breath, staring at me with warning in his blue eyes. "Were going to see thou who shall not be named."

"_Maldito cobarde. No podría incluso decir que a mi cara_._" _I muttered. Today has not been a good day. First Alice waking me up all butt-fuck early, then Ed-something acting weird, and now this shit. "Wait what do you mean '_Were_ going to see'?"

"We are _all _going to go see, um, _her _and Emmett at her mechanic place." Alice said warily.

I took another bite of cereal, and swallowed without chewing. "When?"

Alice looked at the floor, her face scrunched up, body tense, as if she was physically and mentally preparing herself. For what though? "Now..."

"What!" I coughed trying to rid of the cereal stuck in my throat.

"Well this wouldn't be a problem if you would of woken up earlier!" Alice defended. She was right. I fucking hate it when she's right.

"Who says I have to go? Huh?" I responded, being my usual stubborn self. I didn't have to go. It certainly wasn't a life or death situation, and I'm sure as fuck sure that dear old Rosie doesn't want to see me. It would just bring back bad memories...

"Bella, something is different about Emmett and the way he is with her." Alice sighed, her eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. "Seriously think about it, Bella. Why would Emmett deal with all of this, if Rosalie was just some fling? He has never – even in high school – ignored the pact you guys made about your relationships until _now._ Why do you think that is?" Alice said smugly. No matter how much I wish she didn't, Alice had a point. If I didn't like the girl, Emmett would dump her – sometimes on the spot. This is the first time that he didn't seem to give a fuck about my opinion, and no matter how much I wanted to deny it, that hurt.

This just made me hate Rosalie more. Not only was she dating my brother, but she was driving a wedge between us. What gave her that right? What made her think I would allow this without a fight? Emmett and I have always been close, and that ho wasn't gonna change that.

"What about me and my feelings? Emmett knows I hate her, and I bet she complains about how much she hates me! What happened to bro's before ho's? He manages to date that bitch, out of _all_ the girls in the fucking world, and he ends up choosing her!" I said, wondering why fate is playing with me.

"Remember Bella, he doesn't know why you guys hate each other. Hell, none of us do!" Alice made sure to show how annoyed she was by that fact. No one, but Rosalie and me know what happened between us, and it's fucking staying that way. She probably hasn't told Emmett either, what happened between us was just... I shook my head before my memories could resurface.

"Cause it's none of your damn business." I crossed my arms, I don't like this topic.

"Your going and that's final!" Alice crossed her arms too, while staring me down. I huffed and went back to my cereal. In another words – I'm going.

Before I knew it, my white ass was in Alice's Porsche driving to Rosalie's mechanic shop. Fuck. My. Life. Jasper better keep an eye on me cause if she says something just that tiny bit out of line I'm gonna put her in her place.

"Bella, remember deep breaths." Jasper's calm voice said from the driver's seat, with Alice nodding in agreement.

"Keep your fist to yourself!" Alice warned.

In other words I can slap and kick.

"No violence of any kind." Fuck, Jasper caught my loop hole. The car ride consisted of Alice and Jasper telling me to keep all of my body parts away from Rose, me huffing in annoyance and anger, and Ed-something being his annoyingly silent and distant self. Maybe I can take my aggression out on him. It's not like he will say anything. I look at what's-his-face to see him staring out of the car window in deep thought. Nah, I'd feel like shit if I beat him up.

Emmett is another story...

"We're here!" Insert dramatic music...here! We all got of the car, and looked at Rosalie's shop. It looked like the usual mechanic shop – like a giant garage. There were several cars being fixed, oil changed, tires replaced, and all that car jazz. The place was actually pretty big, half of it seemed to be a waiting room/cashier while the other half was where the cars got fixed. I can see through the giant glass window that the waiting room had several white couches and chairs, along with a giant flat-screen television that hung from the wall, a glass table in the middle of the room, and a metal bookcase – filled with books and magazines. The walls seemed to be mostly white, with random splats of black on the wall.

The garage part was definitely not as clean as the other half. The outside of the entire building was a blood red, with a black roof. The garage portion was filled with cars and car parts, along with mechanical thingies – that look like torture devices. The inside walls were a light grey, so was the uniforms, the tools boxes were all red and black, and in the inside there are giant fans on the ceilings pointing towards the workers.

Jasper and Alice held hands as they walked towards the nicer half of the place. Do they expect me to follow? We drove here, the least the bitch could do was meet me halfway. Before I started to sing the Black Eyed Peas song in my head, a soft voice interrupted me.

"B-Bella, we gotta g-go." Whats-his-face whispered. With another huff, I stomped to were Jasper and Alice were waiting. Alice shook her head, earning a glare from me. They should be fucking thankful I even came. I walked in, and was immediately assaulted by the chill air of the air conditioning, and a smiling red-haired girl at the cash register. I walked up to the cash register and stared at the girl who looked about 18. Her red hair was pin straight, her blue eyes a major contradiction to her hair, thin pink lips, and a weird looking nose. Maybe she's saving money for a nose job?

"Where's the bitch that owns this place?" Her eyes widened, the smile fucking gone.

She looked around unsure of how to reply. Her name tag said her name was Bonnie. "Um, I'm sure Ms. Hale will be here soon."

"So you agree she's a bitch?" I smirked.

Her blue eyes widened, as she gasped. "No! I mean...please don't tell her tha-"

"Sorry Bon-Bon, but I don't have time to listen to you babble. Get her ass out here!" She immediately ran towards a hallway that was hidden by the left side of the wall.

That was easy.

"Bella!" Alice whined, Jasper sighed but I say him hiding a smile. I shrugged and turned back around, I put my hands on the counter and jumped so now I was sitting down on the counter top. The desk held nothing of interest, and I had no desire to black mail Bonard or whatever her name was. I looked at the cash register and decided to play with it. I was just pressing random buttons when it opened; revealing pieces of green paper. Money. I hit the jackpot! Just as I was about to grab me some cash, I heard voices coming from the hallway Bonanza went to.

I jumped off the counter and played it cool – I whistled and looked around.

"Where are they?" A feminine voice asked.

"Over here! Be careful, something is wrong with that lady. Mental problems, I'm sure of it!" Was Bonnaroo talking about me?

"I can take her." A male voice replied. Wait a minute, thats -

"Bella?" Emmett questioned. Beside him was the spawn of Satan, carrying a bat and that fucked up nose girl hiding behind him.

"Mental problems? What the hell Boner!"

"Boner?" Red-hair asked. She stopped hiding behind Emmett and glared at me. "Did you just call me boner?

"Well that's your name ain't it?" I could have sworn...

"It's Bonnie. B-O-N-N-I-E!"

"I like boner better," I muttered. Rosalie pulled her aside and whispered something in her ear. Whatever she said it wasn't positive, because I could see boner tense while she ran back into the hall taking the useless bat with her. Rosalie looked at me, her natural glare in place, I seriously wonder if she was born with a bitch face. She was wearing a tan tight business suit, the skirt ended mid-thigh, and her white shirt was in ruffles. Rosalie's blonde hair was flowing down her back, her blue eyes slightly darker in anger. I can't tell what she looks like more – a nazi or a barbie.

"Jasper, Alice, Edward." When she said their names she only looked at them briefly, then her eyes once again looked at me.

"What about moi?" I said, feigning hurt. Bitch really knows how to push my buttons. She raised her perfect eyebrow and smirked at me.

"Still craving attention I see."

"Still being a bitch I see." Rosalie's smirk turned into a scowl as she took a threatening step towards me. _It's on like donkey kong!_

"Girls!" Emmett stood in between us. A very dangerous place. "Come on, please! A couple of minutes in and you guys are already starting this shit." He sighed and ran his big ass hand over his face. "Just calm your ass Bella, and Rosie you promised you would try." Emmett pouted, and Rosalie actually looked a tiny bit guilty, but just as quickly as it came it disappeared. "So let's just forget this and let's Rosalie give us a tour!" Emmett said looking at all of us, hope etched in his face.

We agreed – after much force on my part – and thus began our tour. She showed us the waiting room, and then took us to the mysterious hallway. It was a small hallway with only three doors. The walls were white but the doors where black with silver door knobs.

"Here is where the staff can rest during their break and stuff like that." She opened the first door on the left to see a spacious room, the walls were painted a a navy blue, the ceiling purple, half of the floor had grey carpeting while the other had white and purple tile. The tile portion was a mini kitchen completed with a refrigerator, a microwave, a toaster, a sink, and plenty of cupboards. The carpeted area had two couches and one love seat. The love seat was bright neon blue, one of the couches was a bright neon orange color, and the last one was a neon green. The blue love seat was facing the television and the two couches where facing each other, in the middle was a steel table in the shape of a wrench. Red and yellow lamps added the finishing touches to the room.

Alice walked all around, her face was emotionless. "Who decorated this?" She asked, staring at a stuffed animal that had the head of a tiger and the body of a penguin.

"No one really decorated it. The workers brought extra furniture from their homes or I bought what they wanted and they just created the monstrous room of color." Rosalie looked around, her face was one of disgust. Bitch is crazy, this room is fucking awesome. All these weird colors combined created a harmony, it was definitely a great place to chill. Alice noticed Rosalie's face, and I could see the way her eyes lit up, that she wanted to redo this awesome room.

"This room is the shiz!" Man I should have them redo my room. "They have an amazing style. I mean they got this random furniture that would look fucking ugly by itself and made a cool room with an even cooler atmosphere!" Jasper and Emmett nodded in agreement. After a glare from Rosalie and a defeated face from Alice we left to look at the other rooms.

Rosa-bitch showed us the surprisingly clean bathroom, and she conveniently skipped what she told us was her office, to show us were the action happened. She opened the door that led to the garage portion of the place. The weather was hot compared to the chill air of the waiting room. We talked to some of the employees who weren't too busy, and they were pretty fucking cool.

A man – probably in his fourties – came up to us with a smile. His black hair was thick and short, his dark-brown skin was sweaty, his grey uniform was dirty from oil and grease, but his wide smile made up for it. The red and white name tag that was stitched on his uniform said his name was Poncho.

"Hello," Poncho's said, his mexican accent shining through.

"_Hola!"_ His eyes widened when I said hello in spanish.

"_Hola, hermosa. ¿Qué te trae y su buen grupo de amigos de aquí con el jefe?_" Isn't he the charmer? Poncho is fosho on my good list.

"_Yo y mis amigos están teniendo un recorrido de este establecimiento encantador. Su véase el grande? Ese es mi hermano y por desgracia, está saliendo con la puta rubia de allí. Que como usted sabe es su jefe. Lo siento. Pobre, pobre alma._" He chuckled and wiped his hands on his uniform. He gave everyone a hand shake – except for Rosalie – as they introduced themselves.

"I like this one," He said looking at me with a smile. "I'm Poncho good to meet you all." He gave me another sweet smile, then his eyes swiftly looked at Rosa-bitch before looking at me again. "Sí, ella es una dura. Ella no es siempre la persona más dulce alrededor, y debo admitir que yo trato de mantenerme alejado de ella tanto como sea posible. Cada puesto que el gran hombre ha estado en ella ha sido más agradable que de costumbre. Me gustas. Su enérgica. Espero verle más a menudo_."_

"_Yo también. Es una fecha, viejo. Sólo para saber si tu realmente dulce voy a poner a cabo._" I winked and he laughed, a rich and thick sound.

"_Oh my. Ellos no hacen como que cuando más joven._" He sighed shaking his head, smiling. "_Estoy felizmente casada y muchas gracias, pero es bueno saber que un hombre como yo es todavía deseada._" His brown eyes were sparkling with amusement."_Veo una gran amistad entre nosotros en el futuro, tenemos que vernos pronto!_" Poncho waved goodbye as he went to help a customer. I like that guy.

"What was that about?" Alice questioned.

"I just made a new friend," I gleamed. Alice rolled her eyes, but her smile was wide. Rosa-bitch fake coughed and squared her sholders.

Why aren't we Miss professional.

"Let me introduce you to the best of the best of our staff." Her fucking obnoxious voice invading my poor ears.

We walked towards a red Civic that had two legs sticking out of it. Who ever was under it must of heard our footsteps or something because we soon saw the rest of the body of the mystery man. And damn was it a nice body. A man who looked younger than us got out from under the car in all his hot bod glory. His russet skin complimented his coal black eyes and blinding white smile. Even under his uniform you could see he was buff. He was fucking tall – in the six foot category – but the mischief in his eyes showed the child underneath the surface.

"Hi, I'm Jacob Black." Swoon, his deep voice is definitely doing it for me. We all introduced ourselves to him and I noticed how he was practically eye fucking me, not that I minded. I wonder if he really is as attractive as I'm making him seem or has it been way too long since I had sex. Cause I was only half kidding when I said I would put out for Poncho. We talked with Jacob for a little while longer and I found out he was 22 compared to me being 25, that's not to much of an age difference. Then we were introduced to the rest of the staff. Rosa-bitch and I refused to speak to each other to avoid conflict, but I swear if she glares one more fucking time I will-

"Come on Bella!" Jasper called, Emmett and Rosa-bitch had already left to her office.

"Coming!" I said goodbye to Poncho, and I promised him we would have lunch together soon, he seemed like an sweet man, a cool friend. I was opening the door to the back seat of Alice's car when Jac-o-something came running.

"Glad I got to you." He said flashing an award winning smile.

"Oh and why is that?" I said my voice alluring, I leaned against the open car door, waiting for his response.

"I couldn't let you leave without your number and I had to give you mine. How else are we gonna see each other?"

"What makes you think I want to see you?" I said, playing with him. I was hoping I could see _all _of him.

"My gut." He replied. Jac-o-something asked for my phone, I asked for his, then we exchanged phone numbers. "Bye Bella." When he walked away, I got into the car.

"Oh my gosh, Bella he gave you his number!" Alice squealed. I sighed happily, thinking about today.

Today would have gone perfectly if I would have been able to put a big bruise on Rosa-bitch's pretty face.

**E (POV)**

My plan was to stay away from her so that my feelings for her would hopefully disappear. The plan failed miserably. I found myself missing her presence, wishing she would come back soon. I noticed she was tense about something and I so badly wanted to comfort her, but I don't how or if she would want me too.

I wanted to hold her when I saw how angry she looked once her eyes made their way on Rosalie. I wanted to be her comfort. I just couldn't find it in me to do these things. I have always been quiet and shy, but it has never truly bothered me until now. I was hoping I would eventually find the courage in me but then...

Jacob Black.

Bella was going to be taken away from me before I ever had her.

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**Poor Edward. Give him some love in a review. I really like Poncho, he is fosho gonna be in future chapters! I hope you like him too!**

**Translations! - **

_Maldito cobarde. No podría incluso decir que a mi cara_. **- Fucking coward. He could not even say it ****to my face.**

_Hola!_** - Hello!**

_Hola, hermosa. ¿Qué te trae y su buen grupo de amigos de aquí con el jefe? _**- ****Hello, beautiful. What brings you and your group of good friends here with the boss?**

_Yo y mis amigos están teniendo un recorrido de este establecimiento encantador. Su véase el grande? Ese es mi hermano y por desgracia, está saliendo con la puta rubia de allí. Que como usted sabe es su jefe. Lo siento. Pobre, pobre alma. _**- Me and my friends are having a tour of this charming establishment. Its great see? That's my brother and unfortunately, is dating the blonde bitch there. As you know is your boss. Sorry. Poor, poor soul.**

_Sí, ella es una dura. Ella no es siempre la persona más dulce alrededor, y debo admitir que yo trato de mantenerme alejado de ella tanto como sea posible. Cada puesto que el gran hombre ha estado en ella ha sido más agradable que de costumbre. Me gustas. Su enérgica. Espero verle más a menudo. - _**Yes, she is tough. She isn't always the sweetest person around, and I must admit that I try to stay away from her as much as possible. Every since the great man has been here she has been more pleasant than usual. I like you. Your energetic. I hope to see you more often.**

_Yo también. Es una fecha, viejo. Sólo para saber si tu realmente dulce voy a poner a cabo. _**-****Me too. It's a date, man. Just to see if your really sweet I'll put out.**

_Oh my. Ellos no hacen como que cuando más joven – _**Oh my. They didn't make them like that when I was younger.**

_Estoy felizmente casada y muchas gracias, pero es bueno saber que un hombre como yo es todavía deseada_** - I am happily married thank you very much, but it's good to know that a man like me is still desired**

_Veo una gran amistad entre nosotros en el futuro, tenemos que vernos pronto! -_**I see a great friendship between us in the future, we need to see each other soon!**

**Sorry if anything I put is wrong I speak spanish but not that well, so most of this is from google translator.**

**WARNING!- I'm changing the name of this story to ****Tongue Tied. After hearing that song I realized that the song is perfect for Edward and his situation. So remember that it's gonna be ****Tongue Tied after this chapter.**

**Reviews make Poncho feel desired : )**


	9. Bella's apple mush

**Look out for important stuff this chapter! Sorry for the wait, forgive me. I still plan on updating every tuesday but tests delayed me.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight.**

**My (awesome) Beta – Team Edcob 4 life.**

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**B (POV)**

I need to get laid. Is it possible to die of sexual frustration? If so, how is Ed-something still alive? I need to do something to keep my mind off it. I threw off my pajama's and put on my workout clothes that consisted of a white under shirt and black leggings and of course, tennis shoes. Grabbing my essentials and my car keys I walked out of my room and towards the kitchen. I tried being considerate and did my best to walk down the stairs without making any noise. It was way too early in the morning, so everyone was still asleep. Lucky bastards.

After I ate my weight in fiber bars, I drove towards the gym. The 24-hour gym is a two story place with the latest equipment. On the first floor is were the pool, the sauna room, a mini kitchen, the showers, a resting area, and all the bathrooms are. On the top floor is were the treadmills, stair-climbers, weights, the room were classes are held, and other machines. Overall it's fucking huge. I was here to work out my sexual needs.

I walked in, showed some buff guy my membership, and went straight to the treadmills. Not many people were here, since it was so butt-fuck early on a sunday morning, so I didn't have to wait for a machine.

One painful hour, sweaty body, and sore legs later...

I am such a fat ass. Jeebus I didn't realize how out of shape I was, I mean seriously I'm dieing here. When my chunky self finally got to the water fountain – why did they put it so far? - I drank like I hadn't had water in weeks.

"Whoa slow down! Save some water for the rest of us, will ya?" A man teased. Still drinking water, I used my peripherals to see who was talking. It was Jac-o-something, and his eyes were glued to my ass.

Hey it's not my fault the water fountain is so low.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked rather harshly, wiping the water from my mouth.

Jac-o-something looked me up and down and smirked, practically begging for me to punch it off his face. "You know, I wonder what I'm doing here." He said looking around in mock confusion. "Why am I in the _gym_..."

"Okay smart ass, that was a stupid question. I just have never seen you here before." I sent him my best glare, and he actually looked afraid for a minute but then he quickly wiped it off. Why have I never seen him before? Well I haven't been here in a long ass time.

"I'm usually always here early in the mornings, and I usually always see the same people. So did you just join the gym or what?" He asked.

"Nah I've been a member for a fucking long time, but I have never come so early in the morning."

"Really?" Jac-o-something asked, incredulous.

"Ya, why?" I said raising an eye brow at him.

"Well seeing the way you were panting not too long ago I assumed it was your first time working out," He smirked.

"Har fuckity Har, I just haven't worked out in a while." I shrugged, looking around.

Jac-o-something took a couple of steps closer to me. I was so close to him that I could feel his body heat, but I couldn't actually feel him.

"You know there are other things to do to get your blood pumping, your body sweating, you heart racing..." He whispered in my ear, his hot breath making me shiver in anticipation while he trailed off suggestively, his hand going up and down my arm.

"You... me... my place... now!" I said urgently.

Soon we were at my house and I immediately started sucking on his neck. He moaned, lifting me up with his his hands on my ass, letting me wrap my legs around his large frame. After much difficulty we made it to my bedroom. It was still early so everyone was still asleep. As soon as we hit my bed the clothes were off leaving us with hot and sweaty bodies. This wasn't about love, we weren't cherishing each other, this was all lust. Truthfully, I have never felt an emotional connection in sex and I constantly wonder if I ever will.

"Damn your so fucking hot." Jac-o-something said running his hands all over my body. Fuck I haven't been touched this way in so effing long.

"Your dick in me now!" I said. He complied instantly, he filled me in one quick thrust.

**(A/N- I am not going to go in to detail since I thought you guys wouldn't want to read about Jacob and Bella having sex. But just so we are clear they fucked. Plain and simple.)**

"Fuck," I whispered, getting up from the bed. I made my way to my dresser and started getting clothes for my shower. Jac-o-something was a pretty good lay I must admit. He wasn't numero uno, but he was definitely top five.

"Hey were are you going." Jac-o-something said from my bed. I hope he isn't the clingy type. I also really hope he leaves soon, cause I don't want to come across as a bitch if I tell him to get the fuck out of my house. This is why I like one-night stands. The guy always know that once the sex is done they need to leave. I don't think Jac-o-something gets that.

"Taking a shower," Please be gone when I come out. Without another word I left the room and into a nice cool shower. I washed the sweet and smell of sex and got out. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that I was in the shower for about thirty minutes. _Plenty of time for him to leave _I thought. After dressing in a plain pair of jeans and a tight-fitting shirt a got out of the bathroom to see _him _still in my bed. What the fuck?

"Looking hot sweets." He said. Sweets? Oh hellz nah, I don't do stupid nick names.

"Got any place to be today?" I said, trying to drop the hint that I want his ass gone.

"Nope. My schedule is wide open so I thought I could spend it with you."

"No can do. Your gonna have to leave." Now! He looked at me and searched my eyes, apparently he didn't like what he saw. He got up from my bed exposing his naked muscled body and started putting on his gym clothes from this morning.

"Look were both getting older, and I know for a fact you haven't had many or any serious relationships in your lifetime. So why not give us a try." He shrugged. "Your cool, we have hot sex and we get along. This seems like it can go somewhere." His words hit me. I was getting older and soon my good looks will get covered up by wrinkles and my body would be less than desirable. But a relationship? Me?

"I don't know." I said unsure. He walked up to me and kissed me. His lips were warm, just like his eyes. Should I give him a chance. Something inside of me felt like this wrong and for some reason I felt guilty as if I betrayed my heart by sleeping with him. I internally rolled my eyes, why do I feel guilty it's not like I'm dating anyone. For reasons I don't know Edw-something came to mind. My heart clenched.

"Hey I'll let you think about it." I walked him out as he kept going on and fucking on about how perfect we are for each other. Blah blah blah. I decided that since it's still early I will be nice and make these fuckers breakfast. I got out the pancake mix and bacon and eggs. After the main meal was done and a plate was served for everyone in the house I decided to be _extra _nice and make my specialty: Bella's apple mush. It consisted of small pieces of apples, cinnamon, cream and my secret ingredient. Crack. That's what makes it so addicting. Ha I'm just kidding... or am I? Evil laugh. After I added the ingredients together in a blue bowl I put it in the microwave to make it nice and warm.

"H-hello Bella." Edw-something said, coming into the kitchen looking fine in his pajamas. He scratched his head looking so cute, it was obvious he just woke up. "This smells delicious." He whispered.

"Go on, get a plate. I made one especially for you." I said pointing to a plate that had extra bacon. Alice told me he loved bacon. His smile was contagious as he looked at the plate in awe.

"Thank you." He said, his voice was confident and damn sexy. He sat down on the table and immediately ate his bacon along with the eggs and pancakes. His moans told me the food was good but shit his noises where making me wet.

"Hellz ya, my mush is ready." I said, happy. The microwave was beeping so I opened out and retrieved the bowl of mush. It looked fucking delicious. The whole thing was creamy and looked like a bowl of lumpy gold, it smelled of sugar and warm apples.

"What the hell is mush?" Edw-something said loudly. I gasped and his eyes widened. "I'm s-so s-s-sorry!"

"Don't apologize!" Hearing him say something like that even if it was just 'hell' was fucking hot. "Hear try my famous apple mush. It's the dah-bomb." I said giving him a small bowl of it. He _slowly_ grabbed a spoon and scooped up some of my mush, looking at it quizzically. "It's not poisonous. If you don't want to eat it give it back." I said holding out my hand. He shook his head and put the spoon in his mouth. Fuck I'm jealous of a spoon. His eyes widened and a beautiful smile filled his face.

"Bella, this is wonderful." He said, putting more mush into his mouth. When I was going to ask him about what he liked most I heard a loud squeal.

"Mush!" Alice screamed, as I laughed. Jasper was just as excited as Alice was and soon Emmett screamed like a little girl and finished it. I didn't even get to eat any. Bitches.

Throughout the day Jac-o-something kept calling me the whole day saying how we could be an awesome couple and I didn't like the way he made it seem as if I didn't have an option. Then he started to give me rules. _Rules._ That there are certain ways I have to act now since I'm with him. Which makes no fucking sense since we are not together! Also I don't like any one controlling me, especially when they think they are allowed to.

It wasn't till around two o'clock when Emmett told me the news that ruined my fucking day even more.

"Bella?" Emmett asked warily.

"What up?" I said watching Edw-something drink from his soda. Damn, now I'm jealous of a soda can too. Whats wrong with me?

"Mom is coming tomorrow. You know for christmas." Fuck. My. Life. I hate my fucking mother just as much as she hates me. I hope we don't hit each other like last time...

I didn't respond to Emmett's statement and just watched television feeling the dread creep up on me.

* * *

It was around eight o'clock when I felt stressed about my mother coming. Good things never happened to me when she was around. She was my curse. The fucking thorn in my side that refused to come out. The gum on my shoe, the broken condom, the sexually transmitted disease that kept coming back.

"Hey Bella can I ask you something?" Edw-something said from his spot on the couch. Alice and Jasper were on some date and Emmett was probably fucking Rosa-bitch right now.

"Ya, sure." I shrugged but than my phone vibrated. I didn't bother looking at my phone because I knew who it was and just answered. "Yo, Bella here. Whataya want?" I asked, rudely.

"Wow I love that your so feisty sweets." Their Jac-o-something goes again with that 'sweets' bullshit. "I was wondering if you wanted a round two from this morning..." He trailed off suggestively. I was seriously thinking about it when I saw Edw-something with a hopeful look on his eyes. Than I felt a tug in my heart and I realized something very important. I looked up at the television as I prepared to deal with Jac-o-something.

"Hey whatever your name is. Sorry but I'm not interested in a relationship, well at least not with you." _I actually have someone else in mind. _" Now take that sorry ass nickname and give it to some poor girl who wants it." I know that was harsh but something tells me that was the only way to get through to him.

"Fine bitch. I'm fucking glad. I wouldn't want to be with you anyway!" He hung up and I just cracked a smile.

"So you were saying something?" I said, smiling brightly at Edw-something. He seemed shocked, but he fixed his expression with a soft yet nervous smile.

"I was wondering if you would like to watch a movie with me..." He asked, playing with his hands. Ha like I would say no, especially now that I realized...

"Ya!" I grabbed his hand – enjoying the tingly feeling – and pulled him off the couch towards his room. We ended up watching the Little Mermaid, my favorite Disney movie, and eating popcorn in our pajamas. It was fun and he even opened up a little more.

I would rather watch movies with Edw-something than have sex with Jac-o-something any day.

**Edward (POV)**

"Bella thanks for doing this with me." I said looking at her beautiful face while pointing to the movie.

"I'm having fun so no worries." I smiled and looked at the movie.

_Oh and Bella? I'm in love with you..._

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**A lot of important things happened in this chapter.**

**What did Bella realize?**

**Did you notice an improvement in a certain someone learning a certain someones name? Yup Bella is one letter closer to knowing his name. Hey, it's improvement.**

**Is this the end of Jac-o-something?**

**What issues does Bella have with her mother?**

**Edward loves Bella!**

**Reviews keep Jac-o-something's _member_ away from Bella. **


	10. Cereal and Beer

**Sorry for the late update, but my computer died and every fucking thing was deleted. So the good news is that I got a new laptop! Yay, for me!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight just a new moon cup**

* * *

**Lady Sovereign ~ Love me or hate me**

_Love me or hate me it's still an obsession_

_Love me or hate me that is the question_

_If you love me than thank you_

_If you hate me than fuck you_

_If you hate me than fuck you_

* * *

**B (POV)**

I need to get my lazy ass out of bed. Why? Because dear old mom is coming. Fucking bitch. Getting out of bed I realized that I needed to actually control my emotions today. I wouldn't want it to end like last time - with my fist on her face. Good times, good times…

I walked to my closet and picked out a simple gray hoodie and black skinny jeans, with red vans. Putting my hair in a pony tail I thought about what happened between mom and me. Well nothing really happened between us. The change affected the whole damn family, but it caused my mother to hate me. A part of me can't help but think she has a right to be angry but another part of me hates her back for treating me like the gum on the bottom of her ugly ass shoe.

I walked down stairs and into the kitchen to get me some grub. My fat ass ended up eating three bowls of cereal. I swear I'm so much like Emmett it's scary. I went to the living room and saw the whole gang there, including Rosa-bitch. They all said their hello's while of course Rosa-bitch did her famous glare. I don't get how people are afraid of her bitch glare, if anything it makes her look constipated. Plus she has done it so many damn times it's like her natural face.

Now when she smiles – that's scary shit.

I sat down on the couch next to Edw-something and looked at the television but I didn't really focus on it.

I have shit with my mother and Rosa-bitch. Both are huge pain in the asses, but both are both big parts of my life. Emmett loves mom and Rosa-bitch and vice versa, and I hate that Emmett has to chose all the time. When it comes to Renee he sometimes sticks up for her and sometimes he sticks up for me. I remember the days when Renee used to love both of us _and _dad. But those days are gone so there's no point in thinking about the days where we were all happy.

"I need a drink." I stated. I walked into the kitchen and got myself a beer.

"Don't get too wasted!" Emmett hollered. I muttered swear words as I walked back into the living room. I drank my beer as we sat in uncomfortable silence. Why are all these fuckers looking at me, they swear I'm going to burst out into tears. Bella Swan does not cry. Ever.

Man I need another beer to handle this shit.

"Control yourself Bella. Don't let her get to you again." Jasper warned.

"I punched her one fucking time! You got to admit she deserved it." I said, angry that they couldn't let it go. I mean everyone punches their mothers at least once…right?

"What she said was totally uncalled for, but Bella she is till your mom." Alice said with a soft voice.

"She doesn't act like she's my mom." I said speaking the truth. They all sighed except for Edw-something. He just looked confused. I looked at him, my stare cold. "Basically I hate my mother and she hates me." Really he is the only one who doesn't know why. Jasper and Alice found out because I was drunk and I couldn't keep my mouth shut, and Emmett was a part of it so he of course knows, and Rosa-bitch knew because we were once best friends.

Yup, we were best friends for _not_ forever. But then _the thing_ happened and our friendship went down the drain along with other things.

"I'll try to control her, ok?" Emmett said with a sad tone. He hates it just as much as I do that Renee hates me.

"Ok." I replied.

"Well we gotta go pick her up from the airport." Emmett got up from his chair and grabbed Rosa-bitch's hand – taking her with him.

"Take your fucking time!" I said as he closed the door behind them.

* * *

Is that Emmett's car coming in the drive way?

_Shit._

Is that the car door slamming?

_Double shit._

Is that someone opening the door?

_Triple shit._

Mommy is home

_Fuck my life._

**Edw-something (POV)**

I was not looking forward to meeting Emmett and Bella's mother. I mean how can a mom hate one of her kids and not the other one or _any_, period? She doesn't sound like a pleasant woman. The front door opened, letting the chilly air enter the warm house. Than through the door I saw a woman in her mid-thirties, her hair was dyed a dark red with bright red highlights, and she was small in every way.

"Renee!" Alice said as she ran up to hug her. People who didn't know Alice very well would say that she was happy to see Renee. But I knew better. Alice's voice was an octave too low, she wasn't peppy and jumpy, in other words Alice didn't like Renee either.

"Alice!" Renee hugged her tightly and then looked her up and down with her hands on her shoulders. "You look more beautiful every time I see you. If you don't have a boyfriend than there is no hope for the rest of us." She winked playfully. Alice laughed but I could have sworn she rolled her eyes.

"Did you forget about me madam?" Jasper asked, forced laughter coming from his mouth.

"Oh, how could I forget such a handsome man?" Renee laughed as she hugged him. "Speaking of handsome men, who is this?" She said motioning towards me. Do I say 'hello don't touch me' or nothing at all?

"Oh Renee, this is my friend…um…ya, he is Alice's brother." Bella said saving me. Renee's smile quickly turned into a grimace as Bella placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. Her touch was lovely.

"Oh, than hello." Renee said coldly, her gaze fixed on the wall.

"What Renee? No hug for him? Or me?" Bella said taunting her. Renee locked eyes with Bella thus starting a stare down. Emmett walked in between them and suggested that we all go out to eat. With a gentle push to both of them they dropped each other's gaze as we got ready to leave.

"Sorry about that. I pretty much made her hate you, by associating you _fully_ with me." Bella blushed lightly and just wow. I thought she was beautiful before but that blush was just breath taking.

"Don't worry. A enemy of yours is no friend of mine." Her answering smile was blinding.

* * *

While we were eating I realized just how vile Renee was. I also think she is either really twisted or plain stupid. I don't understand how she can praise Emmett for his lack of job, the fact he lives with his sister and doesn't pay rent, and he does nothing but eat all day. Yet _Bella _is a best-selling author, _Bella_ owns a house, and _Bella _is successful. Yet Renee doesn't even acknowledge it or Bella herself. Renee acts like she isn't even there.

After our Mexican fiesta – Emmett's words not mine – at the Mexican restaurant we came back and everyone bonded in the living room drinking wine. Which is the only bottle they had, Emmett said it was the best of the best, Bella said it was from the 99 cent store.

"Alice, how is work going?" Alice told her about how she was recently promoted and was now doing her own column and working up close and personal with the models. Renee gasped, "That's amazing honey. You know you are the daughter I always wished I had."

"What about me Renee?" Bella said with anger and even hurt in her deep brown eyes.

"I don't know Bella. What about you?" Renee spat. Bella's fist clenched, as Emmett quickly said something to distract Renee. Bella and I didn't hear what he was saying because we were talking about how horrible her mother was in the hallway. After Bella was done 'talking shit' we went back into the living room and sat back down.

Renee took a sip of her glass of wine and looked at me through narrowed eyes, yet they held amusement. "So Emmett tells me you have never been kissed. Is this true?" My face went red as I fidgeted in my seat.

"Emmett! What the fuck!" Bella whispered harshly, leaning over me so she could speak to him. I felt myself harden as I felt her breasts rub against my thigh.

Emmett leaned closer to us so their mother wouldn't hear.

"It was that or the fact that he is a virgin!"

"Well the whole not being kissed thing kind of implies that doofus!"

"I'm sorry, but I had to distract her somehow. She was starting to talk shit about you and you know I can't take it." With that, the conversation was closed and Emmett told me he was sorry again but otherwise left me to answer Renee's question.

"So, have you really never been kissed?" Renee started laughing when I answered her with silence.

"You know what I'm sick of this! I'm tired of everyone bagging on him for not kissing anyone. You won't be able to make fun of him after today!" I was going to ask her what she meant, when I felt her soft lips against mine.

* * *

**Don't you hate computer problems? I do, they are a bitch.**

**If you don't hate Renee already then trust me you will.**

**Reviews make Edward not fuck up his first kiss lol**


	11. Uneaten burrito

**Sorry for the epic fail in updates but at least this chapter is long! I'm sorry but I was having so much fun reading fan fiction that I forgot about mine. Also I was watching Robsten videos. Yes I am a fan of them. Personally I love Kristen Stewart, she is my girl crush. **

**LOOK OUT! - There is sexual stuff and also some foreshadowing. So look out for that!**

**My awesome Beta - Team Edcob 4 life**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight**

**

* * *

****Edw-something (POV)**

Her lips are so soft and plump. Bella ran her right hand up and down my chest, occasionally running her thumb against my nipples, while her left hand went through my hair as she straddled my lap. With the hand that is on the small of her back, I pulled her closer, needing to feel her body pressed against mine. Our kiss was slow yet heated, as Bella patiently let me experiment. She sucked and nibbled on my top lip, letting me do the same with her bottom lip. Our moans filled the room, adding to the hot and heavy atmosphere.

I always thought my first kiss would be nerve racking and awkward, but right now I only feel pleasure. Bella slowly brought her tongue out and traced my bottom lip making me moan. On instinct I opened my mouth to allow her access to my mouth. I savored the taste of her as we explored each other's mouths. We moved our heads in opposite angles to deepen the kiss even more. Her taste was addicting, I could live off of it forever. The feelings this kiss was bringing me are earth shattering.

With a gasp Bella broke the kiss and looked around with a curious expression. "Where the fuck did everyone go?" I looked around Bella's beautiful body to see the living room completely empty. You would think we would have notice them leaving. "Edward, are you sure you have never kissed anyone? Because that was a fuck awesome kiss." I felt myself swell with pride, among other things…

Bella of course noticed and smirked when she felt my erection. She ran her small hand threw my hair and grabbed a handful; with a small tug she angled my head so that she could place open mouthed kisses on my neck. We both moaned when Bella rubbed against my erection; creating the most delicious friction. Bella's right hand remained in my hair, her left on my shoulder, and her mouth was now nibbling on my ear lobe.

Needing the friction again, I grabbed her full hips and steadied her as I lifted my hips to meet hers. Our breathing grew unsteady as my erection grinded against her cloth covered sex. We started to grind each other harder, her lucious breast rubbing against my chest. "Bella," I moaned.

"Fuck," She panted her hot breath on my ear. Bella moved her hips slightly as we moved our hips harder against each other. I brought my lips back to hers as we came together. I stared at her face while we came because her orgasm face was beautiful. I swear I saw stars or something, with the electricity running up and down my body. I have had orgasms before – by my hand – but none of them were this powerful.

After several minutes of trying to calm our breathing we were able to relax and just hold onto each other. I was in heaven. "Wow, I got your first kiss _and_ dry hump." She said with a chuckle. I laughed lightly and held onto her tighter, because I feared my question would send her running.

"So… what does this mean… for… us?" I asked hesitantly. Bella looked into my eyes with her deep brown eyes and let out a sigh.

"Shit I don't know." She bit her lip and avoided my gaze. Even though I was so confused I couldn't help but think how adorable she was when she bit her lip. I wanted a relationship with Bella, but I wasn't sure it would work. I don't live here in Seattle, I'm only here for the holidays and then I'm back to Chicago. How would we make the long distance relationship work? Would she even want to? I of course was willing to make it work, but it would be pointless if she didn't.

"How about I take you on a date?" I asked with a small voice. I nervously looked around – anywhere but her face – as I awaited her answer. I have never had the guts to talk to a girl let alone ask her out. So I have never felt the feeling of rejection, but that might change right now.

"I would really fucking like that." Bella replied with a soft smile. She placed a tender kiss on my lips and stood up; leaving me missing her warmth. "Well I better go; I need to clean myself up." We both blushed when we realized that we both needed a good shower.

After an awkward hug we parted ways. I left the living room with a smile on face and a promise of a date.

* * *

**Bella (POV)**

I woke up to a glorious cloudy morning. Yesterday's events immediately played in my head causing a huge smile to form on my face. Sure it wasn't like we had mind blowing sex but the dry hump showed me that I had a lot to look forward to. From the feel of it I know that Edw-something is fucking huge downstairs if you know what I'm sayin'. Man, just the thought has me drooling.

Practically skipping to my dresser, I grabbed a gray V-neck and dark colored jeans. I ran downstairs to see that no one was awake yet. Again. With a sigh I started to grab everything I would need to make omelets. I was melting the cheese when Renee walked in. She came to an abrupt stop when she saw me working the stove. She looked at me with a cold glare that would make Rosa-bitch shudder.

"Mom –,"

"Don't call me that!" Renee ordered. I nodded – defeated.

"Can't we talk about what happened? How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"

"Your pathetic sorrys won't change anything. You deserve to suffer for what happened, for what _you _caused!" I winced at her words, it seems that over the years she has only gotten more angry over what happened.

"I didn't do anything mother! Why can't you understand that? Renee I was so young, I didn't understand what was happening!"

"Excuses, excuses! Just shut up, I'm so sick and tired of your pleading. Just cook and make sure it's at least edible." With that she left, leaving me cold.

* * *

"Damn Bella this was some good shit!" Emmett said as he gobbled down his omelet.

"Glad you liked it fucker." I chuckled. Alice and Jasper weren't coming till later leaving just Emmett, Renee, Edw-something and me.

"This is delicious Bella." Edw-something complimented. I nodded and said thanks, making sure to give him a playful smile and wink. He smiled back and continued to eat his breakfast.

"Oh honey let me clean you up." Renee cooed as she wiped off some of the cheese on Emmett's face. I made a gagging noise making Edw-something laugh softly. Renee glared at the both of us while still wiping Emmett's face. Edw-something rolled his eyes and winked at me. It took me awhile to respond since he was actually being bold in his actions – major fucking improvement. I smiled at him and I started cleaning up the mess I call a kitchen.

"Well at least we know she can do _something_." Renee whispered to Emmett with a chuckle. Emmett didn't smile, he just looked down and fidgeted in his seat. I just glared at the fucking bitch who gave me life. I threw the rag I was holding on the floor as I prepared to give her a fight of a lifetime.

"Go upstairs Bella, I'll clean up." Edw-something whispered in my ear. His hot breath sending shivers down my spine and tingles on my neck. Damn, he is like a fucking ninja, I didn't even her him get up.

"That bitch deserves a serious beat down and I'm more than willing to give it to her." I stated with a frown. Edw-something didn't reply, he just gently pushed me towards the stairs. With a huff I walked up the stairs to my room where no one could bother me, where no words could hurt me.

I need to get out of this house.

Rushing, I grabbed my car keys and ran down the stairs. Without a goodbye, I walked out the door and into my black Toyota. A relaxing drive somehow ended with me at Rosa-bitch's shop. I don't know if she is working today and I don't give a fuck cause I'm not here for her. I walked to where all the mechanics are and hoped that I didn't find Jac-o-something. But since I'm a lucky bitch, I found who I was looking for.

"Poncho!" He turned around from the tool box he was digging through and spotted me. A wide grin appeared on his face as he waved. I walked over to him and we exchanged hands. I had to wipe my hand on my pants afterwards since his hands were greasy. "Poncho, I'm breaking you out of this joint and taking you to get some grub."

He looked around before a devious smile spread on his face. "Okay let's make a run for it!" He said with his Mexican accent. We bolted to my truck and we laughed as I drove us away from Rosa-bitch's hell hole.

**(Thank you daughter)**"Gracias hija," Poncho said, with a smile as he looked at me. In Spanish I told him it was no problem and that I was going to break him out more often. He laughed as we exchanged jokes about Rosa-bitch. I drove to King Taco and I was glad to see that it was not packed.

"Tengo tanta hambre. Esté preparado para pagar un montón de dinero." I laughed at his words and shook my head. **(I'm really hungry. Prepare to pay a lot)**

"¿Qué te hace pensar que estoy pagando?"**(What makes you think I'm paying?)**

He nudged me in my side and laughed. "¿Le haría un hombre de edad pagan?" **(You would make an old man pay?)**

I nudged him back and winked. "Hells ya I would!" We laughed as we ordered our food. We found a table to our liking and we sat down and chatted as we waited for our food. When our number was up Poncho and I went up and took our food back to the table.

So he ate his tacos while I just stared at my food, I'm not really hungry which is a fucking shock. After our food was done and gone – Poncho ate my food – he stared at me and gave me a gentle smile. "Something is troubling you _hija,_ you can tell me. Your words will belong to my ears only." I smiled in thanks and decided that I needed to vent.

I told him every-fucking-thing. I told him what happened in our family that caused Renee to hate me, I also talked about my worries about Edw-something, and what happened between Rosa-bitch and me. I admit I feel a lot better, and what helps is that Poncho doesn't look at me with judgment in his eye or pity – just understanding. It was weird that I was able to reveal my secrets to a man I didn't know well but for someone reason I can't tell people who are close to me. But I trust Poncho, and I need some advice that only an old man can give.

"Wow that is a lot of problems on such a young girl. You shouldn't have to worry about these things and for that I am sorry." He sighed and gently put his hand on top of mine that was currently on the table. "Your mother is – what do kids say now a days – a bitch? Yes, that's the word. What happened wasn't your fault, you were a child who – no matter what – shouldn't have been in the situation in the first place. Your mother needs to understand that it is completely not fair to, uh, what's the word…blame you! There we go."

"Your English is a little rusty, huh?" He nodded and said he was getting better.

"Also you need to learn that poor boys name! How do you think he will feel when he realizes you don't know his name? Not good, I am sure. He sounds like a wonderful man, who you should hold onto, for you might regret it. As for the boss and you, well that's a tuffy. You both were at fault for that… um… dilemma! Now that you have fed me, let us leave and while I work on cars you work on your problems. Understand?"

"Yes father!" I joked.

"_Oh hija."_ **(Oh daughter) **He rolled his eyes and got into my truck once again. I drove him back to work and gave him a wet wily before he left. I waved goodbye and started the drive home. During the drive I thought about what Poncho said. I can sort of understand Renee's hatred towards me but the much bigger part of me hates her for not understanding – for putting all the blame on me. I was so young, by the time I understood what was happening it was already too late. Even if I did understand, I was too young to do anything about it. One half of me blames myself for what happened and agrees with my mother, while the other part knows it wasn't my fault and hates my mother. These sides are constantly fighting in my head and it gets hard to control.

As for Rosa-bitch I feel regret. Although I will never tell her, I miss our friendship. We were thick as thieves until the whole fiasco happened that sent us into a spiral of madness. I know for a fact that I messed up and caused a lot of problems but so did she. So I always fucking hate it when she blames me for fucking everything as if she was a fucking victim. So many problems would be fixed by now if she were to only admit that she was also at fault.

As for Edw-something… well I need to learn his fucking name for starters. Then there is the whole relationship ship thing. It has been so long since I had been in a relationship, since high school actually. Wow, can I handle a relationship? It has been so long I don't think I remember how. Do we just walk around and hold hands? Make out in every public place? Fuck, this shit is complicated. I can't forget that he doesn't even live here. I can barely handle a regular relationship, how the fuck am I suppose to handle a long distance one?

I made it home with more questions then answers. I'm also fucking hungry now.

I walked through the front door to see Edw-something standing about 6 feet from the door way with one hand behind his back. "Yo, where is everyone?"

He looked down at his feet when he said, "They have all gone to eat."

"Those jackasses. I am hungry, couldn't they have fucking waited?" I asked walking towards the kitchen to make me some food since those fuckers couldn't wait for me.

"Wait!" Edw-something screamed. I turned around with my lips puckered and brows furrowed.

"_Que paso?_" I asked.**(What happened?)**

He took a deep breath and then he revealed that he was carrying a single red rose behind his back. He gave it to me and smiled. "I was wondering if we could have that date today… right now."

I twirled the rose in my hand and took a small sniff. For the life of me I couldn't stop the big smile that appeared on my face. "Oh why not," He smiled and told me that what I was wearing was fine. "Good, because I am in no mood to do the whole dress up shit today. I am emotionally drained." I complained as we got into my car. He gave me directions to this cool Italian place called Bella Italia.

Fucking restaurant jacked my name.

"C-can I hold your hand?" Edw-something asked hesitantly. I nodded with a smile and allowed him to grab my hand. We held onto each other's hands tightly; I seriously loved the tingly sensation.

We walked into a crowded restaurant, but luckily no one was waiting for a table. Still holding hands, we walked up to the hostess. She was blonde with big boobs sticking out of her uniform. I didn't fucking like the way she was looking at my man. Whoa were the fuck did that come from? The hostess licked her lips when Edw-something asked for a table for two, he was completely oblivious to her eye-fucking. After she sat us in a secluded area – I could of sworn Edw-something paid her off – we sat down and enjoyed the atmosphere of the place.

"So… how does it feel?" I asked.

He looked at me with a confused expression. "What do you mean?"

"How does it feel to be eye-fucked?" I clarified. His eyes widened as he looked around the room. "It was the hostess." I said, answering his unspoken question. "Well I guess it was eye-rape since you weren't a willing participant." Edw-something laughed at my words, making me laugh as well.

"Can I ask you some questions?" Edw-something asked. I told him he could after we ordered our food, because I saw the waitress heading our way. _Oh great she is blonde!_ What the fuck is with the blonde staff? She made her way to our table and of course she was checking out _my _man. That's right _mine. _

"What can I do for you?" She purred, her double meaning painfully obvious.

Edw-something fidgeted in his seat. "U-uh, I'll have the Chicken Alfredo." She shocked me by actually writing down the order.

"And you?" _I think _she asked me, because the bitch wasn't even looking at me. I was not having this shit. I raised my hand and snapped my fingers in her face to get her attention. Bitch had the nerve to give me an annoyed look.

"Not only are we paying for good food but we are paying for good service which so far sucks. If you haven't noticed there are two of us here. So when you ask for my order look at me! Also, stop staring at my man cause he is here with me Not. You. And he never will be. So now lets start this shit over." She stared at me with wide eyes but nodded. After I ordered she quickly walked away.

Edw-something looked at me with shock coloring his handsome features. Oh great. Nice job Bella, you scared him off. I was going to apologize when he spoke before me. "You said that I was your man."

"Oh… sorry?"

"No! I…liked it." He said with a soft smile.

"Good. Now ask me those questions."

"Okay what is your favorite band or song?" He asked drinking some of the coke we ordered.

"I don't have one; there are way too many out there. What I can do is show you my iPod sometime." I suggested.

"We can both exchange iPods. Okay what is your favorite book and what is your least favorite and why?"

"I love Wuthering heights because that book is not you average fairy tale and its characters have real traits that people can relate to. The book I can't stand is Romeo and Juliet. Gah, I hate that story with a passion!"

"Why?! That book is such a great romance story; the ultimate forbidden love. It also happens to be one of my favorites while I hate Wuthering heights." I sighed because this was going to be a long discussion.

"Romeo and Juliet is a _horrible _love story. It starts off with Romeo sad because he couldn't get into that one girls pants which is when he found Juliet. Who the fuck moves on that fast? He claimed to love that girl or whatever but because she has that stupid chastity belt he decided to move on. Romeo and Juliet knew each other how many days and already they were madly in love, which is not realistic. Also Romeo claims to love Juliet yet he kills her family members, and countless of other mistakes, that would of course lead to their down fall. Also the whole death thing was way over dramatic like really, you really need to die? To me the whole story is ridiculous." I stated.

"The fact is that even though they were meant to hate each other they didn't. Somehow they found love between all the hate that the families held for each other. They took their lives because there love was that strong, that they knew they couldn't live without each other." Edw-something defended.

After our food arrived we continued to argue about Romeo and Juliet, but it was fun. We started to get to know each other more.

"What your favorite color?" He asked eating his chicken.

"Green," I answered immediately. No it's not because of his eyes… maybe… okay it is. Bite me. "Yours?"

"Brown." He said with a slight blush. Hmm…

We continued to eat and get to know each other and I must add that the waitress didn't look at Edw-something once!

Edw-something opened the car door for me and then went to the passanger seat so he could sit. Instead of starting the car I thanked him for the great date, he smiled and said anytime. We drove home in comfortable silence. When I pulled into my driveway and stopped the car Edw-something immediately got out of his seat and opened the car door for me. We held hands and walked all the way into the house.

We stood in the middle of the stairs and the hallway. "Well good night, and thanks again."

"No thanks is necessary. I really had fun tonight Bella." He leaned towards me and I did the same. Being my impatient self I eagerly met his lips with mine. Our tongues danced as my arms hugged him. He held me tightly allowing his scent to enter my nostrils. Damn he smells good. All too soon we broke the kiss and said our goodbyes.

It was the perfect end to a horrible day.

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**So there it is!**

**Question 1 - Who do you agree on the whole Romeo and Juliet thing? Edw-something or Bella?**

**Question 2 - What do you think happened between Bella and her mom? And Bella and Rosa-bitch?**

**If you have questions about this story or me visit me at formspring! Here is the link:.me/Loyalluv**

**Reviews keep waitresses from eye-raping Edw-something.**


	12. Food, snacks and wine

**Hey awesome readers! Have I told you how awesome you are? If I haven't then I am truly sorry for you are awesome! Thanks to all who review and read dor it means so much to me! **

**This chapter is short because it's pretty much a filler, but it's still important!**

**My awesome Beta - Team Edcob 4 Life**

**Disclaimer - I don't own shit or Twilight.**

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**Bella (POV)**

I never liked Santa Clause. I never liked the idea of him. Honestly he freaked me the fuck out, but I liked the holiday so I let it slide. I mean, seriously, think about it. A big old fat man goes house to house, breaks in, and eats your food. Okay so he gives you stuff, but how the fuck does he know what we want? That is serious stocker status. He knows when kids are sleeping, he knows when they are awake! That practically screams pedophile! Well anyway I should talk about my lovely Christmas.

Everyone was here at my house and I of course made dinner. Rosa-bitch wasn't here cause I guess she has a family that can some how deal with her. Alice and Renee helped with dinner but, hey, I did the tough stuff so I should get more credit, eh? After the delicious dinner we all stayed up and talked about things I don't remember, but I bet it was boring. As soon as the clock hit twelve we immediately exchanged gifts. I really wasn't paying attention to what other people got because I only care about what was going to me, myself and I.

Emmett gave me a car tire. I'm fucking serious. One tire! The cheap ass couldn't even get me one full set. I have a spare now, I guess… Alice got me a vibrator. Bless her heart. I'm not getting any so now I need to rely on technology. Jasper got me a bottle of Advil and margarita mix. That man is the shit. Edw-something got me a book of poetry and somehow a fresh red rose. He gave them to me with a sweet smile and we both blushed when Emmett said 'aww.' Renee, of course, got me zip. My own fucking mother didn't bother to get me anything. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised – she hasn't gotten me anything in years.

Overall it was a damn good Christmas.

Oh did I mention Edw-something and I are officially an item? Yup yup. Truthfully I like the whole relationship thing; it's nice and comforting. He has been amazing to me and he has shown me things I have been missing out on. Like actual emotion when we kiss and touch – although we haven't had sex yet. This by the way is very hard for me. For him I will wait until he is ready, but I just hope I don't wait too long. But we are talking about his virginity here so I'm guessing it might be awhile.

Right now Alice and I are getting ready for the New Years Eve party. Whoop! "Alice what the fuck is up with the decorations and food? There are way too many items here for such a small group of people!" I looked around to see the whole damn house with streamers, balloons, confetti, and wall decorations. Also there was a shit load of food, snacks, and wine bottles. "Alice we don't even have a big guest list. It's just us and some friends." I was met with a tense silence. "Alice? How many people did you invite?"

"Just a few more than you planned." She said innocently, as she hung more streamers.

*~*

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*~*

Bitch invited a whole lot more than a few. My house is packed with people I don't know, and Alice made we wear this blue dress that is so itchy! It's a halter dress that gently flows at the bottom, but it is so uncomfortable. I walked through the massive amount of people so that I could go outside. I didn't even know any of them – most of them are people from Alice's work. I finally made it outside and then I realized why no one was out here. It was freezing! Stupid Alice, making me wear a stupid dress that is made out of stupid fabric.

I walked to the middle of my backyard and sat down on the soft, cool grass. Shivers went up and down my spine as my teeth chattered. Why am I fucking out here? I looked at the packed yet warm house and sighed. Nope, I'm not going back into the house. With a huff I turned my head back around and just stared at the moon. I heard a small chuckle behind me, and then I felt a jacket being put on my shoulders.

"You are so stubborn. I was waiting for you to go back into the house but you insist on staying outside." Edw-something sat next to me; sitting Indian style. I smiled noticing how well he was doing with his speaking problem. He talks louder now and he has even started voicing his opinion around others! Which I know is really hard for him. Fuck, if I had a gold star sticker I would soooo give it to him.

"Me go back into that house with those snobs? Hells no! The whole time they just looked at my outfit and commented on how well the dress accents my body or some shit. I freaked out when they started talking about how the beer complemented my eyes." Alice's work friends are just weird.

"They freaked me out too. I left when they suggested I be an underwear model."

"Although I would love to see those pictures, no one is going to see my man practically naked." Edw-something smiled largely and wrapped his arms around me. I smiled; feeling his warm body against mine. We stayed like that for awhile, just watching the moon, until I heard him let out a sigh. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that… I'm leaving soon - in a week actually. What's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"I live in Chicago Bella. That's not exactly close by." He said sadly. I frowned because truthfully I haven't been thinking about him leaving. For some reason I felt as if he would never leave. I got so used to him always being here that I forgot that this is not his home. I'm not going to be with him soon. Him moving is going to change everything.

"Well, when you leave…" I let the sentence hanging because I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to let Edw-something go but what else could I do? He had a life in Chicago, not here and not with me.

We didn't talk about it anymore.

"Five…Four… Three… Two… One!" Edw-something kissed me with everything in him. The kiss was desperate and full of unspoken emotion. The kiss left me wanting more but the same question wouldn't leave me. What would happen to us when he left?

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**Did you guys forget that Edw-something doesn't live there? **

**Next Chapter - The reason for Renee's hate for Bella is revealed!**

**Reviews keep Edw-something there longer.**


	13. Sandwich

**Hey! I am super nervous about this chapter, I'm talking major drama. Actually the next couple of chapters are gonna be filled with drama. So you have been warned.**

**Reviewers and readers, you make my fucking life. Sorry I can't respond to reviews but know that I love and appreciate them!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight.**

**My Awesome Beta - Team Edcob 4 life**

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**Bella (POV)**

Renee was leaving tomorrow, hells yea! I was glad to see her gone; now things around here won't be so damn tense. With her gone, I will be able to breathe again, to walk around my house without fear of walking into her. I scoffed remembering the time when she loved me and I loved her. That was a long time ago.

I was walking down the stairs when I bumped into Emmett. "What up, loser." He said in greeting. I smiled at him and punched him hard in the arm.

"I'm the loser? Yea, okay fucker. So is Renee packing and getting ready to bolt?" I said with obvious hope in my voce. I want her gone!

Emmett nodded and ran his big ass hand over his face. "Could you maybe try to talk to her? You know, give it another shot?"

I sighed, "Emmett you know I can't. I have tried way too many times to just be shut down over and over again. Why am I the one who always has to put the damn effort? Why not her, huh?" Emmett shrugged and looked at me sadly. "Sorry, but things will just never be good between us again. I accepted that, now it's your turn."

He nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yea, I guess it's not really fair you put the entire effort sis. I just can't help but fucking hope you know? You guys were so close once."

"Thanks for reminding me ass." I said sadly. He patted my shoulder as softly as he could – although it still fucking hurt – and continued on his way upstairs. I walked into the kitchen, with the intention on getting a sandwich, only to see my mom rummaging through the refrigerator. She must have heard me come in because she immediately lifted her head with a smile. Her smile disappeared when she realized it was me. "Hey Renee," I greeted awkwardly. She grunted in response and poured herself a glass of orange juice. She walked away, without even a glance in my direction, leaving me angry. I decided to follow the bitch and tell her the things I have been dying to say for years.

She heard me following her, but only quickened her pace, me doing the same to catch up. We somehow ended up in the back yard, with her having nowhere to go. I had her trapped. She realized this as well and scowled.

"Renee!" I screamed because she refused to look at me. Her back was facing towards me, I could tell her arms were crossed over her chest and that she was breathing harshly. Her reddish curls blew n the wind, making me remember the time when I used to love playing with the curls of her hair. They were my favorite toy.

She finally turned around to glare at me. "What? What do you want?!" Once upon a time those cold eyes looked at me with love – motherly love.

"I want to tell you about how much your shit has done to me over the years!" The ice in her stare only hardened, but I won't shut up like all those other times. I won't let myself.

"Oh the poor little baby is going to whine to her mommy is she? Well go ahead and cry like the little bitch you are! It was _you_ that started all our problems! I hope you are fucking proud of what you've done!"

"Mom, I was seven years old! How the fuck was I supposed to know what I was doing? All I wanted to was find him, to make him come home, to bring him back to us! I didn't know that I was going to screw things up that bad."

"But you did screw things up! You ruined everyone's lives that night and you can never change it!" I couldn't argue with her on that because I did ruin everything that night. I always fuck things up.

**Edward (POV)**

"Emmett what is going on out there?!" I asked loudly. I heard the yelling increase volume outside.

Emmett looked out the window and muttered something under his breath. "Fuck, Bella and my mom are going at it again. Shit looks bad, I better get out there." We were running down the stairs when we literally ran into Alice and Jasper.

"Whoa!" Alice said, lifting herself off the ground. Jasper dusted her off and looked at us for an explanation. They both turned their heads toward the back yard when they heard screaming. "What's going on?" Alice asked impatiently with her hands on her hips.

"Bella and my mom are fighting." Emmett explained. Jasper and Alice exchanged a knowing glance.

"Are they fighting about what happened?" Jasper asked Emmett.

Emmett simply nodded and walked to the glass door that separated the house from the back yard. The glass was thin so you could hear that they were arguing. He opened the glass door quietly and prepared to stop the fight.

"Emmett!" I called. He turned around and closed the door again.

He looked at me silently asking why I stopped him. When I didn't respond he asked, "What?"

"What happened?"

Emmett sighed and looked at the floor. "She hasn't told you?"

I shook my head and answered, "No."

Emmett looked outside and internally decided that they could wait since he led us to the couches in the living room. "Get yourself comfortable. It all started when Bella was seven and I was ten. We had an amazing family that never failed to show us love and all the other crap. Renee was the best mom any kid could ask for and she loved us, both of us, at the time. Actually, Bella was the favorite, believe it or not. Our dad, Charlie, was an amazing man. The head cop of Forks, we were so proud of him, proud to call him our dad. I was always so proud to know he was a cop, to know that he protected people. Bella didn't like it. She watched way too many cop shows and movies and was afraid that one day, dad wouldn't come home.

"I tried to tell her that dad was safe because shit never happened in our town, but she was still afraid. One night while we were eating dinner, dad got a call. He had to leave immediately but he wouldn't tell us why. Mom and I were used to him leaving a lot but Bella didn't like it. While dad was changing into his uniform, Bella told us she was sleepy and wanted to go to bed. She yawned and everything, so mom took her to bed. Dad left after but we didn't know that Bella was hiding in his back seat. If we had known things would have been so different.

"It turns out that someone reported a shooting down by some old warehouses. Dad went inside guns a blazing like the hero he was." This was the first time I have ever seen Emmett cry. "But he didn't expect Bella to come running to him, telling him to come home. I can only imagine the look of shock and fear on his face when he saw his baby girl running towards him, completely ignoring the bullets flying around. But even Bella can't doge a bullet, she isn't superman. Dad apparently saw she was going to be hit so he fucking bolted towards her. He grabbed her and used his body as a shield to protect her. He took one bullet to the head, four to his back and three to his legs to protect her.

"We lost our dad that day, but he fucking died a hero! I admit I was mad at Bella for a long fucking time but then I realized that was damn selfish of me. It wasn't her fault. She was a little girl who wanted her daddy with her. They got the men involved in the shooting, so the day they were sent to jail was the day I realized it was _their_ fault my dad died. It was _them_, not my seven year old sister. But my mom never got that shit. She blames her for dad's death. I hate my mom for that because Bella already carries around the guilt, she doesn't need my mom adding to the fire."

Emmett telling me this only made me hate Renee more and it also made me want to hug Bella and take away the guilt she has carried on her shoulders for so many years. I left a crying Alice, Emmett and Jasper behind, completely prepared to give Renee a piece of my mind. I heard footsteps behind me so I knew that they were following.

"Renee please! How many times do I have to say I'm sorry and actually make you understand that I mean it?" Bella asked, tears running down her face. Renee just looked at her with anger and hatred. Hatred that Bella didn't deserve.

"You know that I hate looking at you? Because I do. I see his face on yours and it makes me so sick. It makes me so sick to know that Charlie and I made you! Do you know the revulsion I feel just because I know that I brought you into this world? The loathing I have for myself because you came out of me!"

"I needed you mom! I needed you so much, especially then. All I wanted was for you to hold me and to tell me that everything was okay, but you weren't there for me. You never were!"

"That's because I fucking hated you! You killed your father, you killed my husband!"

"Renee shut the hell up!" Emmett ordered. Renee gasped at his harsh words. I rushed to Bella and wrapped my arm around her waist protectively.

"Stop sticking up for her Emmett! She is not worth it, she isn't worth anything!" Renee screamed, never taking her eyes off of Bella.

"Leave," I heard Bella whisper. Renee was staring so hard at Bella that she noticed her lips move.

Renee placed her hands on her hips and continued to glare at Bella. "You have something to say, Bella? Hmm? Come on, say it!" Renee dared.

"Leave." Bella said louder. Alice and Jasper stood by our side, supporting us.

"You better go Renee." Emmett suggested, taking our side as well. Renee looked at all our faces, her anger growing.

"But – "

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" Bella ordered fiercely. Renee actually stumbled by the force of Bella's voice. She ran away towards the house, letting Bella breathe a sigh of relief.

"Bella, "I said quietly wanting to comfort her. She walked out of my arms and walked deeper into the yard.

"Can you guys leave us alone?" Bella said motioning towards me and her. They all nodded and went back into the house. "We need to talk." I didn't like this; the empty look in her chocolate eyes, and the lifeless sound to her voice.

"Okay." I answered.

"I want to break up. You are leaving, so it just wouldn't work. And you heard Renee, I'm not worth anything, so I'm especially not worthy of you. I wouldn't have been able to handle the whole long distance thing either – nothing would have worked out. You'll find someone better, I know it."

"Bella, no! You are what's best for me! You have helped me so much; you make me feel good about myself. I talk more, I speak louder, and I have more confidence. That is all because of you. Don't you understand Bella? What Renee told you was complete bullshit! You are worth everything and more. You deserve the world and I want to give it to you. I don't want anyone but you!" Bella looked at me with an emotionless mask, as if she didn't hear anything I said.

"I don't want you. I don't want you or us! What I want is for you to leave as soon as possible so I can go back to the way things used to be! Just leave me the hell alone, I don't want you anymore!" Bella turned her back to me, ending the conversation.

I robotically walked back into the house, feeling empty inside. Bella and I were over; she was out of my life just like that. She didn't want me.

"Edward what's wrong?" Alice asked. Jasper and Emmett both stood up from their chairs and looked at me.

"I want you to book me an earlier flight. I'm leaving." I said.

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**Yup Bella pulled an Edward. Instead of dumping him in the forest she chose the backyard. Do you see that?**

**So before I go hide I want to say some things.**

**1. Don't hate Bella. How would you handle your mom telling you all that shit?**

**2. We are done with Renee...for now.**

**3. Reviewers have asked if I wanted Edw-something and Bella to work out. My answer? Of course I do! Which is why this drama is necessary. **

**4. Did you guys expect the reason of why Renee hates Bella?**

**Reviews get Renee bitch slapped.**


	14. Shit tea

**This chapter is really really important!**

**Reviewers and readers? I fucking love you, so damn much! Thank you guys for your reviews to the last chapter, they made me laugh and smile!**

**My awesoem Beta - Team Edcob 4 life**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight.**

**Maroon 5 ~ I won't go home without you**

_The taste of your breath, I'll never get over_  
_The noises that she made kept me awake_  
_Oh_  
_The weight of things that remained unspoken_  
_Built up so much it crushed us everyday_

_Every night you cry yourself to sleep_  
_Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?_  
_Why does every moment have to be so hard?"_  
_Hard to believe that_

_It's not over tonight_  
_Just give me one more chance to make it right_  
_I may not make it through the night_  
_I won't go home without you_

**

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**

**Bella (POV)**

I walked into my room, emotionally drained, just wanting to relax and forget about the shit that happened today. But since my life fucking sucks, I won't get to relax.

"Bella, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Alice shouted walking into my room like she fucking owned the place. Ignoring her, I walked to my bed, and jumped on its soft surface. I sighed in relief when I was finally able to lie down.

"According to my mother, everything is wrong with me." I replied sadly. I heard Alice sigh and walk towards my bed. She sat down and let me rest my head on her lap; she ran her hands through my hair as I cried softly.

"Your mom is a total bitch; you shouldn't care about what she thinks." Alice told me. I sniffled and nodded, wishing that I didn't care. I wish that I didn't care about anything. "Want me to get Jasper?" I nodded again, letting her leave. Soon Jasper came and took her place, letting me place my head on his lap while he turned on the television.

"Nice weather we're having." I smiled at his words; he always knows what to say to me.

"Thank you."

"That's what best friends are for."

"Do you want to know what else best friends do?" He looked at me and smiled.

**Rosalie (POV)**

I was doing my fucking hardest to wait patiently in the living room, but every minute they weren't fucking here, my anger grew. Emmett and Alice made me wait for Bella and Jasper while they were off doing God knows what. Emmett and Alice left to the grocery store not too long ago to get food since the kitchen didn't have any. I would have gone with them but he begged me to stay, and I can't deny him when looks at me with those puppy eyes. I have no idea where Edward went either, he just disappeared. Thirty minutes later, when they still hadn't showed up, I gave up and started to walk to Emmett's room, when I heard a noise. I walked closer to the doorway and heard the sounds of keys jingling and feet stomping. After what seemed like fucking forever, Bella and Jasper stumbled in, obviously drunk off their asses. They had their arms around each other's shoulders, trying to keep each other balanced, as they awkwardly made their way into the house.

"If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain!" Bella and Jasper sang. I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help but chuckle. I know from past experience that Bella is a funny drunk; I just didn't know Jasper was too. I remember when Bella and I would get drunk together, back when we were friends…

"Rosalie is here!" Jasper shouted happily. Bella's eyes met mine, a smile immediately appearing on her face. I glared at them when I remembered a very important detail.

"How the fuck did you guys get here?" I asked with my hands on my hips. They ignored me as they walked further into the living room, hitting furniture as they went. "Don't make me ask again."

Bella let go of Jasper, making him fall to the ground, and walked over to me. She got so close to me, that one false move would have us lip locking. Her eyes were narrowed but her lips held a loopy smile. "All you do is talk, talk, talk and nag, nag, nag. Can you just shut the hell up, _por favor._" She slurred. I ignored her words, because I wasn't in the damn mood to get in a fight with a drunken woman.

"Did you drive here?" I asked slowly.

Jasper shook his head that was currently buried in the floor. He lifted himself up from the ground on wobbly legs, and looked at me with a slobbery smile. I looked at the floor and there it was – a puddle of his saliva. "We didn't drive here silly. We rode on the yellow thing!"

"A Twinkie?" Bella guessed.

"Nope," Jasper answered.

"A banana?" Bella guessed again.

"No again." Jasper giggled.

"A taxi?" I suggested.

"That's it! Ding, ding, ding!" Jasper and Bella clapped, smiling like idiots. Suddenly Jasper's face turned green, he ran to the back of the couch, letting out the contents of his stomach. Fucking ew. I wrinkled my nose in disgust while Bella laughed her ass off.

"That's not sanitary." Bella stated. I went to go help his ass off the floor, but he pushed me away.

I walked away from him saying, "Fine."

"Bye, bye food." Jasper said as tears came down his face. Bella went to him, possibly for comfort, but instead she tripped over his legs and fell down. "Hi Bella," Jasper greet when she hit the ground.

"Hi floor," Bella whispered to the ground.

I cursed Emmett and Alice in my head while walking towards the two drunken fools. I decided to deal with Bella first since she wasn't covered in drool and puke. "Hi Rosalie." Bella greeted glumly as I picked up her from the ground.

"Let's take you up to your room." I told her while practically dragging her to the stairs.

"But I don't wanna." Bella pouted, sounding like a child. Bella went completely limp in my arms, making me drop her. "The floor likes me," She stated after she hit the ground. "That's why it makes me near it all the time." I couldn't help but smile at her logic.

I tried to lift her again, but she insisted on doing it herself. She crawled towards the wall until she hit her head. "You're not my room." She crawled towards me but stopped when her head hit my legs. "You're not my room either."

Having enough, I lifted her up and carried her upstairs, and she thankfully didn't complain. Bella was a petite little thing so it wasn't too hard taking her upstairs. As soon as we reached her room, I gently tucked her into bed, after I took off her shoes and socks. I turned to leave when her hand grabbed mine softly. "Remember when we were best friends?"

"Yea, I remember." I replied softly before walking away.

**Bell (POV)**

After I woke up with the worse hangover ever, I took a shower, and dressed into a simple pair of skinny jeans, a black long sleeved shirt and converse. I walked down the stairs to the kitchen with a pounding head ache. When I got there I saw Jasper sitting at the kitchen table rubbing his head, while Alice was doing something with the stove. I joined Jasper at the table and also rubbed my head. Soon Alice came to the table and placed two cups of tea in front of Jasper and me. I sniffed the cup and gagged a little in my mouth.

"What the hell is this?" I whispered softly not wanting to hear any loud noises at the moment.

Of course Alice had no problem with loud noises. "It's for your hangover; you guys were really trashed yesterday." Jasper and I both groaned at her loud voice.

Willing to take anything to help me, I gulped down the shit tasting tea. Minutes later I felt tons better and so did Jasper.

"Bella, Edward is leaving today." Alice told me. I nodded and looked at my empty cup. It was for the best that Edw-something and I broke up. He deserves better, not second best. I will never be good enough, he is pure and sweet and kind, while I am simply not. What made me think I could ever have him? What made me think I deserved the right to call him mine?

"What time?" I asked simply to appease Alice. I know what she wants. She wants Edw-something to be happy and for some reason she thinks I can do that.

"He leaves at four, Bella. Please stop him! Do something! I see it in his eyes, he lov –"

"Enough!" I said leaving the kitchen and the house all together. I cursed myself when I remembered that Jasper and I left my car at the bar and took a cab home. That's the only fucking thing I remember of yesterday. I grabbed my phone and called a cab. When it came, I got in and gave the man the directions to Rosalie's car shop. I needed to talk to Poncho; he would know what to do.

Once we got there I told the cab to wait and that I'll be back as soon as possible. I ran to where I saw Poncho's head, and screamed his name. He smiled when he saw me, but the smile quickly disappeared when he saw the distress on my face.

"What wrong _hija_?" I told him what happened with my mother, that I broke up with Edw-something and that he was leaving today.

"I just don't know what to do anymore." I stated.

He looked into my eyes when he asked, "Is he important to you?"

"Yes, but – "

He looked at me with knowing eyes, eyes that have lived a long and hard life. "No buts! You aren't going to find another boy like that in this lifetime and I don't want to see you old and gray when you find that out. Do you really want to live your whole life regretting letting him go?"

His words hit me hard, making my head spin. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted him with me, for fucking ever. "Oh shit! What time is it?" I looked at the clock that hung on the wall and gasped. "Bye Poncho!" I ran to the cab and got inside. I quickly told him to take me to the airport. I looked at my cell phone for the time and muttered all the cuss words I could think of. "Can you please drive faster?" I asked impatiently to the cab driver. The large man simply rolled his eyes and ignored me. How dare he drive the speed limit!

Aggravated by his behavior, I slumped into my seat and kicked his headrest. "What the hell!" He screamed rubbing his head. My attempt at getting him to drive faster only made him drive slower. I growled in frustration, when I decided that I needed a better plan. Looking around me I realized that I didn't have anything to use. Stupid fucking cab and stupid fucking cab driver!

I started to cry when I discovered that I was going to be too late. Edw-something was going to slip through my fingers and just like that I will lose the only man I could see myself falling in love with. I was stupid for letting him go and selfish for wanting him back. Tears fell fast from my eyes as I gasped for air.

"Come on Miss, don't cry!" The man pleaded. I smiled inwardly when he started to drive faster. Who knew my feelings would help me. I started crying because I was going to lose Edw-something, but it was helping me get to him faster. Knowing I needed something more, I started thinking about what else I could do to make this man drive faster. Do you want to know what I did? I slapped myself – hard. The man looked at me like I was crazy while pushing the gas pedal with more force. I slapped myself harder and more frequently as I screamed at myself for being such a stupid bitch.

I grabbed my wallet from my pocket and pulled out the exact amount of cash I needed to pay him when we reached the airport. No way was this fucker getting a tip for making me late.

I ran out of the cab and headed inside of the airport looking for Edw-something. I ran to where his flight was going to take off, doing my damn hardest to pass the crowds of people blocking me.

_Please baby, I'm almost there!_

**Edw-something (POV)**

I held my carryon luggage tightly, holding it to me while I took my seat.

I was leaving. I was leaving all the bad memories behind, even the great ones.

"Um sir, would you like me to put your bag up here?" A man said pointing above him. I reluctantly nodded and handed him my bag.

I took a deep breath, trying my best to hold in my emotions. I was leaving her, leaving Bella. I would no longer see her beautiful face, her beautiful body, those eyes that made me want to melt, and the lips that took me to heaven and beyond. I won't be able to hold her, kiss her, and would never be able to tell her I love her.

All because she broke it off. A part of me wanted to hate her, to be angry, but a big part, the part that loves her, can't do it.

The man sat next to me and sighed when got comfortable. "I can't wait to leave this place. I got a wife and kids back home and I really miss them." He said, smiling. I didn't respond because he reminded me I had nothing to go home to, just an empty apartment. I never had a problem with my lonely apartment, but that was until Bella showed me how it felt to be held and touched, and cared for. I know over time Bella would have grown to love me the way I love her, but she never gave us the chance.

_Bella, why did you break us?_

**Bella (POV)  
**

"People move!" I ordered harshly as I ran. I wasn't fast enough; there was too many people, too many obstacles in my way. Tears again leaked from my face when I thought about never seeing Edw-something again. I realized then, that I needed him. I needed him my life, without him I couldn't feel anything but sadness and guilt for what I ruined. I ruined everything. I always fuck things up. I wanted to slap myself again like I did in the cab but that would only slow me down.

I ran faster though the crowd, ignoring the pain in my legs, and the pounding in my heart. I ran, jumping over luggage and pushing past people, as I disregarded the fear creeping into my heart.

_Come on, I'm almost there!_

**Edw-something (POV)**

"Put your seat belt on kid, the sign says so."

"Thanks," I replied putting on said seatbelt.

"_Hello, this is your pilot speaking. Prepare for your flight, for we will be leaving very shortly. We have clear skies ahead of us and I look forward to a smooth flight."_

Minutes later we were alerted of take off. I looked out the window and sighed as I watched the plane move down the path. I held onto my seat at the slight turbulence when taking off.

_Goodbye Bella… my love…_

**Bella (POV)**

I stopped running, catching my breath, when I saw the sign that held all of the information of the flights. I quickly searched for his plane and the words Chicago. I gasped when in red letters, next to Chicago, said the words _Departed._

I was too late.

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**Who thought that was gonna happen? **

**No flames please, I know where this story is going and this chapter is important.**

**Reviews get you...what do you want them to get you?**


	15. Soup

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight....damn it!**

**My awesome Beta - Team Edcob 4 life**

**Watch out for this chapter....**

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**Bella (POV)**

I tossed and turned in my bed, where I have been in for days, and cried thinking about how messed up my life has become. I had failed. I failed at trying to fix the mess I caused, the mess I could have prevented.

_He _was gone. I refused to think of his name – even though I didn't remember his whole name – because it caused me too much pain. My chest felt as if a hole has been freshly cut out, leaving me burning and aching, while my stomach also felt empty. I haven't eaten since I came from the airport, since I came home empty handed.

As if knowing my needs, Jasper came in with a bowl of soup; the soup was still hot for I saw the steam rising from the bowl.

He came over to the bed and placed the bowl on my nightstand. "Bella, you need to eat." Jasper said with nothing but concern for me. He shouldn't be concerned, at least not for me. I didn't deserve to be thought of or cared for. Renee was right; I was nothing. Jasper sighed when I didn't respond, but instead of leaving, like I hoped he would do, he wiped the tears that came from my eyes. "Have you even left the bed since you came back?"

I nodded slightly, biting my lip. "I took a shower." I had to; I was starting to smell so bad, my eyes burned. Okay so maybe I'm exaggerating but I didn't exactly smell like roses.

He nodded in approval, while my stomach betrayed me and let out a growl, informing him of my need for food. Jasper gave me a small sad smile and gently held the soup bowl out to me. He was giving me the option. Letting my stomach guide my actions, I grabbed the bowl with shaky hands and inhaled its wonderful aroma. It was chicken soup. I grabbed the spoon, but decided to eat without it. Grabbing the bowl, I brought it directly to my lips and swallowed the soup in several gulps.

"That's better," said Jasper who was smiling. Looking at him smile made me realize I wanted to smile too. But I couldn't, not without _him. _

"Jasper," I choked. "Do you think that by me missing the plane, fate was telling me I couldn't have him, that I didn't deserve him?" I asked, needing to know. Jasper took my hand in his and squeezed firmly.

"I just think it was bad timing Bella." Shaking my head, I thought about how it must be a sign, a sign telling me to stay away. I voiced my thoughts to Jasper. "That's bullshit Bella! Screw fate, and screw that I don't deserve him crap. Bella believe it or not you're a good person, who has dealt with horrible things. I say you need to take fate into your own hands, and try to fix this. If you're not happy with what has been handed to you, than change it!" Jasper shouted.

His words were inspirational but yet the desire to do anything quickly faded. It no longer mattered if I needed or deserved _him_. What mattered was what _he _deserved and I knew for a fucking fact that _he _was worthy of so much more than me.

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"Alice please pick up your damn phone!" I screamed into my cell phone. After Jasper left my room it took me a week to finally understand his words. If anything was going to get better, if I am going to get _him _back, then its time I took fate into my own hands. Just like Jasper said, but it took my dumb ass forever to truly grip his meaning.

I was going to get _him _back; I made a fucking promise to myself.

"What Bella?" Alice answered her voice groggy. Well it was really early in the morning; I guess I should have called later… "Bella, why the fuck are you calling me so early? Do want me to come over? Is something wrong? Are you hurt?" She asked panicked. I faintly heard Jasper in the back ground asking what was wrong.

"No Alice, I'm fine. I need to ask you something! It's really important." I heard some shuffling in the background and the sound of Jasper's voice.

"Okay. What can I do for you?"

I nervously scratched my head and took a deep breath. "I need you to give me the address to _his _place." Thankfully Alice knew who I was talking about and told me that she was going to look for it in her address book.

While she was looking she apparently gave the phone to Jasper. "I'm proud of you Bella."

I fucking blushed when he told me that. No one has ever been proud of me before. "Thanks," I said softly. Alice then took the phone from him and gave me the address. "Thank you so much Alice."

"Just be careful okay? I have a bad feeling about this."

In a sarcastic voice I said, "Oh thanks Alice. That's comforting." She told me to shut up and then we hung up. I quickly grabbed my suitcase and threw random amounts of clothing inside while I called the airport for my ticket.

I was going to get _him _back.

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*~*

I sat awkwardly in my seat as I waited for the plane to take off. An elderly woman sat two seats away from me. What freaked me out was that she was chewing on something, but I don't think she has anything in her mouth…

Luckily a girl around my age sat next to me. She has straight blonde hair, a small body, and a pretty face. "Hey, I'm Jasmine!" She greeted when she sat down.

"Sup, I'm Bella." We shook hands and exchanged smiles.

"So why are you going to Chicago?" She asked while going through her bag.

I hesitated but decided to tell her the short version. "I'm going to get my ex back." She immediately stopped looking through her bag and looked at me with pure excitement in her brown eyes.

"Oh my gosh really? That is so damn romantic! I'm only going to see my grandmother. Wow so what do you plan to do?" Jasmine smiled at me while she patiently waited for my answer.

"That's what sucks. This is all really spontaneous. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get there; I haven't really thought that far ahead." Jasmine rubbed my hand soothingly and gave me a sad smile. "Do you think you can help me?"

"I would love that!"

We spent the rest of the flight talking about what I would say instead of what I would do. She told me that with the right words everything would work out. She was actually a big fucking help. I had all the words in my head and the meaning behind them in my heart. If you think that's too cheesy…well suck it!

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I gave the cab driver my money and exited the cab. My heart was rapidly beating and my hands began to sweat as I looked up at his apartment building. The building was modern with black and red paint; the windows were large and unique with its oval shape. Overall _he _chose a good place to live.

Feeling a lump in my throat, I walked inside the building where I immediately saw a large desk and when I walked further towards it, I could see a very small woman behind it. She smiled widely at me, her white teeth showing. She was short and kind of chubby, with short brown hair, and beautiful blue eyes.

"Hi! I'm Marsha, are you knew here? I know all the people who live here but I don't remember you." She gave me a confused look, silently wondering who I was.

"Actually I'm here to visit my boyfriend." I motioned towards my luggage. I gave her _his _room number making her look at me weird. Do I have something on my face?

"That's so weird. But that…so was that…what the heck?" I gave her a concerned look when I saw her talking to herself. Is she crazy? "Oh I'm sorry, um, just go I guess…" I walked away with a bad feeling in my gut. I didn't like it.

I took the elevator to his floor, my heart filling with more pain as we reached closer to _his _apartment. I got off the right floor and searched for his room number, when I found it, my eyes locked on the door. Suddenly I was terrified, my will to step towards that door and face_ him _was gone and replaced by fear of what the outcome might be. I didn't want to go home empty handed again. Shaking my head, I tried get rid of my fear, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't going to like what I found behind that door.

Ignoring that feeling, I walked to the door, and using everything in me, I knocked softly. No one answered. With my heart dropping into my stomach, I tested the door knob, and with much surprise it opened. But oh, how I wished it was locked, for what I saw would forever hurt me – break me.

There, in _his _living room, was Edw-something kissing a blonde girl, who by the way was completely naked. I let out a gasp at the disgusting sight before me. They immediately stopped kissing and they both turned to face me. Edw-something looked at me with fear and confusion.

"Bella?"He asked. I ran out before anything else could be said. I knew it. Fate was telling me I couldn't have him. What I saw just proved that. He didn't care for me, if he did, he would have never moved on that fast. He moved on…

He would never be mine

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**Do you guys hate Edw-something? Cause I do lol. Nah, I'm just kidding, or am I?**

**Did any of you guys see that coming? If you did then good job!**

**Reviews get you a teaser and you will get to know who the blonde chick is!**


	16. Candles and roses

**Wow the response to the last chapter was amazing! Maybe I should get Edw-something jumped by naked girls more often...**

**Reviewers and readers you are the shiz! Seriously you guys made my fucking week!**

**Discalimer - I don't own Twilight :(**

**My awesome Beta - Team Edcob 4 life**

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****Edw-something (POV)**

I walked into my apartment with a heavy heart. I dropped my luggage in my room, not caring about having to unpack. All I could hear was the sound of my footsteps but otherwise there was nothing. I used to like the sounds – or lack of – of being alone. But now it was just a painful reminder of what I didn't have. I no longer could hear the sounds of Alice happily dancing through the house, the quiet sounds of Jasper trying to calm the things down, Emmett stomping around with his voice filling the house, Rosalie huffing around, or Bella…

I walked to bed with the intention of staying there for a weeks.

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I walked down the busy halls to my office. By neglecting my work, others had to pick up my slack, which was never my intention.

It took everything in me to get out of bed this morning. All I could see was _her_ face, _her_ smile. The sounds of _her_ laughter rang through my head, taunting me. The feel of _her_ lips against mine constantly woke me up in the middle of the night, with me realizing that it was only a dream. The memories of _her _pained me yet a part of me didn't want to forget _her_, she means so much to me.

"Hi Edward, I haven't seen you in, like, forever!" Tanya greeted enthusiastically.

Tanya is what you would consider beautiful. She had strawberry blonde hair, slim body, and clear blue eyes. Tanya often worked with me and has made several comments on how great we would be together. At first I never replied because I was too shy but now it's because she had nothing on Bella. "H-hello Tanya."

"We have been assigned to work together for a new commercial coming up. I haven't been informed on what it is exactly but I'm sure it will be so fun!" I nodded absentmindedly before I walked past her. I know I was being rude, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

**Tanya (POV)**

Edward and I work together amazingly well. I absolutely love having him as a partner. Not only does he do an amazing job at what he does but he is fucking hot! I mean a guy like that has to be with a girl like me. It would be unnatural for him not to be attracted to me, because, well, I'm me! Every man wants me, they'd be crazy not to.

I get what I want and I want Edward.

I would have had him by now if he wasn't so damn shy. That has been the thing that has been getting in my way, but ever since he came back from wherever he went, he has been seriously depressed. Like seriously, fucking smile every once and a while, you're hot when you do. But since I'm so nice I won't tell him like that, mostly because I have other ways on making him smile, if you know what I mean.

When Edward shockingly turned down my advances, I decided to take things to a new level. He was shy, I'm not stupid, and so I need to make all the moves. I'm not really interested in a relationship, because so many guys would be disappointed that I was taken, I just want to get into Edward pants. He is an enormous challenge, which is what makes it so fun.

I got out of my car and walked towards Edward's apartment building. It was a really nice place. I felt giddy, thinking about my plan of seduction, when I entered the building. Today at work I looked through Edward's private file so that I could find out where he lived.

"Hi I'm Mar – "

"I don't care." I said to the fat girl. "I need to get to my boyfriends room." I told her his room number and waited for her to let me pass.

"Um, okay. You can go ahead."

"Wait! I don't have his room key how I am supposed to get in?" I asked the girl.

She looked around nervously before answering. "Well… I guess I could give you the spare he gave me to keep in case he lost his…"

"Great give me!" I held and my hand and huffed when she slowly gave me his key. With a triumphant smile I walked to the elevator and pressed the button that would take me to his floor. The elevator stopped and I happily got out and searched for his room. When I found it, I used the key to get in, and I smiled when I saw how beautiful his place is. I then searched his apartment for the supplies needed for my plan of seduction.

**Edw-something (POV)**

Since Tanya left early for some unknown reason, I had to finish everything myself. I just couldn't wait to go home and just sleep. I parked my car in the apartment's indoor parking lot and made my way inside.

"H-hello M-Marsha," I said politely when I passed her desk.

She stood up abruptly and waved her hand in a 'come here' gesture. "Edward I need to speak to you!" With my brows furrowed, I walked towards her, not looking forward to the news she had. I nodded, silently telling her I was listening, and to continue.

"I'm sorry but I just wanted to warn you that your girlfriend is up in your room and she has your extra key." She warned looking nervous.

"My girlfriend?" She nodded making me confused. What girlfriend? Pictures of Bella went through my head and suddenly I felt excited. Bella was here? She was waiting for me? I thanked Marsha and ran to the elevator. When it was taking too long to come down I ran for the stairs. I had to run faster up the stairs; Bella was waiting for me.

When I finally reached my door, I was panting yet smiling like a fool. My smile only grew when I saw candles lit and the smell of roses.

"Hello Edward, you've kept me waiting." Tanya said in what she must think is a sexy tone.

"Ah!" I covered my eyes when I saw that Tanya was completely naked. "What are you doing in my home?" I screamed.

"Oh Eddie, don't be like that. Come on, open your eyes, and look at me. This is all yours."I heard the sound of footsteps as she came closer to me. Before I could make a move back words, her hands were running up and down my bent arms, making a shiver of disgust run through me. "Come on!" She urged.

Having enough, I took my hands away from my eyes, but made sure to look anywhere but her. I grabbed her shoulders while she tried to hold me. I gently pushed her away, not wanting to be harsh to a woman.

When she realized I wouldn't be rough with her, she eagerly wrapped her arms around me, and to my disgust, she kissed me. Everything was wrong about her lips. They weren't soft like Bella's, and they didn't give me an electric tingling sensation. Her lips are cold and thin, her skin wasn't soft, and her eyes weren't warm and deep. She wasn't Bella.

I heard a soft sound coming from the door, but I was too late. Because in the doorway, was Bella, looking at what must be a horrible scene.

"Bella?" I asked needing to make sure she was there. Bella was here, only to witness me and this thing. She ran away, not realizing that this was all a misunderstanding. Having enough of Tanya, I pushed her away from me, making her stumble but not completely fall. I raced after Bella, screaming her name as I ran. She escaped into the elevator before I could get to her, leaving me with the stairs.

_Please Bella; it's not what you think!_

Once I made it to the main floor I searched the lobby to see only Marsha, who was glaring at me. I ran to her, breathing hard, and with tears threatening to leave my eyes. "Where is she?" I asked frantically.

Marsha continued to glare at me when she said, "I'm not telling you anything you two-timing bastard. That poor girl ran out of here crying. You're sick!" Marsha went behind a door marked employees only, leaving me by myself. Bella was gone…again. She made the effort to come to me, to get me back, only to have everything blown up in her face. My Bella would never be mine again.

I walked back to my apartment, defeated, with the intention on telling Tanya off. It was her fault; she was to blame for Bella leaving. Bella would have been here with me, we would have kissed, I would have told her of my love for her. Everything would have been perfect but then Tanya had to come into the picture. But when I got to my apartment, Tanya was nowhere in sight. I took a ragged breath, trying to control my emotions that threatened to explode. My anger, my grief, the feeling of loss threatened to consume me. Needing to relieve some tension I punched the wall, not caring of the dent that I would need to fix later.

Then I thought came to me. I ran to my cell phone and dialed Bella's cell phone number while I internally prayed she would pick up. She didn't. I called her so many times, left so many messages, to have none of them answered. I tried calling her for a whole hour without stopping, but then Bella turned off her phone, leaving me with only the sounds of her voicemail.

"_Yo this is Bella! You missed me – you missed me – now you wanna kiss me! But you can't so boohoo. Leave a message and I'll get back to you…eventually." _

"Bella please answer your phone. It wasn't what it looked like…"

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**The course of true love never did run smooth...**

**Okay guys remember how long it took for Edw-something to ask Bella out? Ya well, remember he is still shy so he isn't going to go around fucking other girls anytime soon.**

**Reviews get you a teaser and they get Tanya punched by Bella!**


	17. Pancakes with a punch

**Sorry the chapters are short but at least I'm updating really fast!**

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**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight**

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****Jasper (POV)**

Poor Bella; she came home a wreck. None of us know what happened, just that it wasn't good. She just came home yesterday night. Over the past couple of hours she has gone through several stages. Depression, throwing a tantrum, uncontrollable tears, and now I have no idea. She is locked up in her room, doing who knows what.

I just hope she is okay….

**Bella (POV)**

I wasn't sad or heartbroken. No, I was pissed.

How could he? How dare he just fuck some random ass girl, while it took him forever to just ask me out? Was I just practice for him? Was I just some girl he decided to experiment with, before using it on some other slut?

Right now, I really don't care. All I know is that when I see him, I'm going to deck him. I'm going to stick my foot so far up his ass his head will spin.

**Jasper (POV)**

"Alice, try calling your brother again." I suggested. Not only did we need to know what happened but I needed to have a word with him. Whatever happened in Chicago seriously hurt Bella – I wasn't going to let it slide. She came home looking so broken, her eyes filled with a massive amount of pain and sadness – I never wanted to see that look on her face again. Emmett, Alice and I knew that only one person could have done that to her. Edward was in for a serious amount of ass kicking, from Emmett, me, and maybe even Alice.

Alice nodded and dialed his number once more. She tapped her fingers anxiously on her thigh as she waited for Edward to pick up his phone. "Edward?... What the hell happened up there?... It is my business when you seriously hurt my best friend!... She saw you doing what?!... How could you Edward?... Wait, what do you mean by a misunderstanding? … Oh my gosh, that explains so much… I'll try to talk to her, but I can't guarantee she will listen to me…. Okay, bye."

Emmett stood up from his spot on the couch and glared at Alice's phone, as if it was Edward himself. "So is he coming down here so I can beat the shit out of him or do I have to go over there?" Emmett asked, fuming.

I stood up as well, feeling the same amount of anger as Emmett. Bella was like the sister I always wanted; it was my job to protect her just as much as Emmett's. I liked Edward, but now, just the thought of him made my blood boil. I have always been a calm person, but when someone messes with my family and loved ones, then there is no telling what I might do.

Alice gave us wary glances before staring at the ground with such interest. "Guys, we have a problem."

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**Bella (POV)**

_Knock knock knock_

There is goes again. Can't they just leave me alone? I was currently on the floor just staring at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the damn world. Today has really left its toll on me; so many emotions going through me were bound to tire me out. My emotions have drained me physically and mentally, leaving me exhausted. I didn't want to talk to anyone, listen to anyone or have anyone near me. It definitely wasn't helping that these fuckers wouldn't leave me alone. I'm just glad that I locked the door.

_Knock knock knock_

I let out an aggravated breath as the knocking sound continued. "Go the fuck away!" Did they listen to me? Of course not, because the knocking went on and on and fucking on.

Hours went by before the knocking stopped. Even though my body wanted to stay and rest, my nose demanded I take a shower. I gathered my pajamas and headed to my shower. As I let the water run down my body, I thought about everything that I desperately tried not to think about.

I did the one thing I promised myself I would never do; I got emotionally attached. This is why I didn't do relationships, because they were too painful. Sure the benefits were amazing and heartwarming but the price for it was too high – too much for me to handle. The whole time I was fooling myself, making myself believe that I could deal with the things life threw at me, but I couldn't.

I got off the shower and changed, then left to go to my room. My life at first held no worries or problems until _he _came around and fucked things up. With my eyes threatening to close, I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep.

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I changed into fresh clothes and left my room in search of food. I was hungry damn it! I made myself some pancakes, and gobbled them down shortly after.

I faintly heard the sounds of footsteps and then the clearing of someone's throat. "Bella?"

I didn't need to turn around to know it was Alice. "Yes?" I replied not bothering to turn around and face her.

"Someone is here to see you." She told me softly, worry lacing her tone. My eye brows furrowed as I turned my body in order to look at her. When I turned around, it wasn't Alice I saw. "Edward is here, Bella." Alice spoke out loud, stating the obvious.

I gasped, feeling the rush of emotions that hit me once more. It was _him _coming to fuck with my life more. What, was he not finished with me yet? Did he feel that I deserved to suffer more? Did he bring the tramp with him? The memories of that night flooded my head, filling it with pictures of them kissing, her naked body pressed against his. In the back of mind I wondered if he gave his virginity to her, if he allowed her to touch him in places he's never been touched before. Places I wanted to touch…

"You," I accused. I stood up from my stool and glared at him. His stance showed me that he was fearful and nervous but his eyes held pure pain and signs of lack of sleep. There shouldn't be pain there. He was the one who moved on so quickly; he was the one who treated what we had like nothing. I made the effort to go back to him, to fix us, while he went to the first slut he could find.

"Bella what you saw – "

"I know what I saw!" I interrupted, my blood boiling by just looking at him. I looked at his body, his face, and his lips – all things I once held desire for but now I only felt disgust, because the last person to touch them was _her. _I bet she touched and kissed him everywhere – places I only dreamed of touching and caressing. That was it, I snapped. I walked up to him, and using everything in me, I punched him. He fell to the floor, a thud sound being made when he made contact with the ground. "That's for the shit you put me through."

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**Bella had to do it! Remember she doesn't know the real story so of course she is pissed at him. The next chapter is one thirds finished so you won't have to wait so long!**

**Reviews get you a teaser and they get Tanya's face bruised. 8P**


	18. Punch all around

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**My awesome beta - Team Edcob 4 life**

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****Edw-something (POV)**

I let her hit me over and over again; in the face, my chest, and my stomach, as she yelled at me. I wanted to hit myself when I felt her tears fall on my face and neck as she straddled me so she could have better access to hit me. I could have stopped her, the pain that rang through my body and face stung, but I deserved it. I deserved all of it for the hurt I caused her. Closing my eyes, I continued to let her hit me, she was strong, and so I know I would have long lasting bruises after this.

Suddenly I felt nothing on top of me, the hitting also stopped. I opened my eyes to see Emmett restraining Bella in his arms, holding her in a tight grip.

"Let me go you traitor!" Bella protested, angrily hitting Emmett anywhere she could. Tears ran down her face, breaking my heart.

I stood up from the floor and walked towards her, only making her kick Emmett harder. "Dude, I don't mean to rush you, but fuck she is hurting me." Emmett told me as he grimaced.

"'I would stop if you put me down!" Bella screamed continuing her attack on Emmett. "Don't you dare come near me!" Bella warned me. I looked in her eyes and using my hand, I told Emmett to put her down. We never broke eye contact, even when she slapped me. Right then, her walls came crashing down, showing me all the pain and anger inside of her, pain that I caused. "How could you?" She whispered, hugging herself tightly.

"Bella please listen to me when I tell you that all of it was a misunderstanding. I would never hurt you like that. I would never want to hurt you."

She took a deep breath, her eyes becoming guarded. "Explain." Her voice was emotionless, like steel.

So I told her everything. I told her that she was all I could think about, that the whole time I wanted her with me. I told her that the girl she saw me with was Tanya and that she worked with me, and that she wanted us to be together, but I never felt the same. When we got to the part where I thought it was Bella in my apartment, she tensed. "Bella, she came on to me, she found out where I lived and tried to get me with her. I know it sounds crazy but that's what happened! I never wanted her. The first time Alice showed me your picture I wanted you and only you." I grabbed her hands and held them tightly, trying to show her my feelings with my touch.

"I don't know if I can believe you." Bella told me. "What I saw… well it didn't look like you were trying too hard to restrain her. I just, I need some time to think." Bella let go of my hands and walked away. I just prayed that she wasn't walking away from us, from what we could be.

*~*

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It has been two days and Bella hasn't said one word to me. Everyone was telling me not to worry, that she would come around, but she hasn't shown me anything that would tell me she has forgiven me. Bella doesn't look at me, acknowledge me, and she doesn't bless me with her voice or touch. I constantly hope I haven't lost her.

Currently, I was in bed staring at the not-so-interesting wall. Restless, I tossed and turned in bed, while internally begging for sleep to come. Since moving around wasn't doing anything for me, I stayed still with my eyes closed, not feeling the least but drowsy.

Thirty minutes later, I was in the same position, and I was still awake. I opened my eyes when I heard the door creak open. Someone was coming in. I feigned sleep, waiting to see what the intruder would do, when nothing happened I opened my eyes to see Bella in all her glory. She was wearing her pajamas and she was staring at me intently. "Hello," Bella climbed into bed with me and cuddled into my side. I was in heaven.

Her head rested on my chest, my arms wrapped around her, as she played with the hair on my exposed chest. I didn't say anything in fear of ruining the moment, but I craved her voice too much.

"What brought this on?" I whispered. She sighed as her fingers stopped, causing me to worry.

"I want to say that I forgive you – partially." Bella told me in a soft voice.

My eye brows furrowed as my left hand played with her soft as silk hair. "Partially?" I wondered.

"Yup, there is one thing I need to do before I can fully forgive you." I was going to ask her more about the subject when Bella told me to shush and to go to sleep. Happiness and confusion were the only emotions that filled me. Happiness because Bella had let me in, she had forgiven me. Confusion because she has only forgiven me partially and apparently something must be done to get her full forgiveness. Whatever it is I will do it, I must. I held Bella tightly, my body molding to hers, as I drifted into a deep sleep.

*~*

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*~*

I sat down next to Bella and immediately grabbed her hand. I craved Bella's touch, her presence. Knowing what it feels like to lose her has made me appreciate Bella and her existence in my life even more than before. We were both currently in an airplane headed to Chicago. The reason, you might ask? Ask Bella, because I have no idea.

I looked at her beautiful face as she looked out the planes window. "Bella, can you please tell me why we are going over there?"

She looked at me, giving me a wide grin, before looking back out the window again. "You'll find out," She said cryptically. Bella giggled when I groaned in frustration, which of course made me smile.

*~*

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**Bella (POV)**

I was on a fucking mission. Objective? Kick Tanya's ass! Edwa-something drove me to his office and pretty much let me free since he had no idea on what I was going to do. Making sure that I was several steps before him, I ran to the elevator and closed the doors before he could get in.

"See you soon baby!" The elevator took off, taking me to the floor that Edwa-something said he worked in. Once the doors opened I went to the first person I saw. "Hello, do you know where I can find a Tanya?"

The lady I asked looked at me skeptically but answered me anyway. "Yes, she is walking down the hall right now to her office." The lady pointed behind her where I saw a blonde making its way down the hall. Not even bothering to say goodbye or thank you to the lady, I jogged over to Tanya and patted her shoulder. As soon as she turned around, I punched her, smiling when I heard a cracking sound.

"My nose!" She screamed as she fell to the ground. I got on top of her and repeatedly punched her, with her trying to pull my hair or scratch me. Pa – fucking – thetic.

_Punch._

"This is for messing with _my_ boyfriend!"

_Punch._

"This is for being a slut!" The workers around me gasped at the scene before them but none of them made a move to stop it.

_Punch._

"This is for existing!" I was going to it her again when someone pulled me off her. Looking at her face, I smirked at my handy work. Her face was bloody and tears streaked. My fist was bloody and I was probably going to have bruises on it but it was so fucking worth it.

"Bella enough!" Edwa-something told me in a grave tone. He pulled me towards the elevators as the employees helped Tanya up. I laughed thinking about how her face isn't going to be so pretty after this.

We rode to his place in silence – he was fuming while I was smug. I did what I came to do, and I did a damn good job of fucking Tanya's face up. We made it to his apartment and we exited his vehicle in some more silence. He ignored Marsha while I gave her a wave and smile which she returned. The elevator ride was again filled with more damn silence. As soon as the door to his apartment closed behind us, he spoke.

"What gives Bella? That's why we came here? So you could beat Tanya up?"

I shrugged while answering, "Yup, that's pretty much why." Edwa-something looked at me – incredulous.

"You don't care at all that you completely rearranged her face, do you?"

"Not at all," I told him with a smirk. I didn't care; in fact I wish I could beat her up some more. My fist wants to properly meet her face. What happened in the office was only the introduction. "Actually what is pissing me off is that you care so damn much!" Why did he care, was she important to him in some way?

"Bella I don't care about her at all, but what you did wasn't right. I'm also worried about what she might do. What if she takes you to court or something?"

I merely shrugged again, "Then I'll hit her until she stays quiet." Edwa-something couldn't help but chuckle, but then his face changed. His eyes grew darker; he licked his lips as he looked at mine. He took quick steps towards me and pulled my face to his.

"You have no idea how much I craved your lips." He kissed me then. The kiss wasn't soft or slow. It was passionate as our tongues danced together. Our need only intensified when we rememorized each other's taste, as we grew more familiar with each other's lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, needing to feel more of him against me. His hands went to my waist to my ass, he cupped then with his large hands, urging me to wrap my legs around him. I complied. With me wrapped around him, he led us to the couch, were we stumbled on to it with me on my back and him on top of me. "Only in my dreams did I have you under me." I pulled him back to me and crashed my lips to his. The sounds of our moans filled the room, our heat combined with lust made it really fucking hot in here. We didn't mind; we craved the heat.

"Fuck we need to stop before we end up fucking each other on this couch." I said interrupting what might have been sex. Edwa-something looked around and sighed.

"You're right." He got off me, leaving me missing his warmth. A part of me knew I did the right thing but the other part completely hated me. Why? Cause I just cock blocked me.

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**Told you Tanya would get her ass beat.**

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	19. Stupid hot pockets

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****Bella (POV)**

My body felt completely relaxed and completely rejuvenated as I rested against Edwa-something's sleeping form. Never in my life have I slept so well, it was all thanks to him. My man's body may not be as soft as a pillow but it's definitely preferable. He has given me so much; things that I thought I could never have. He has made me feel things that I once thought never existed. A part of me wondered if this would last, if I even deserved all of this, but the other part of me told the other part to shut the hell up and enjoy it. So I listened to that part because it's so much better.

Trying my best to not disturb Edwa-something, I left the bed because my bladder didn't care how comfortable I was. After I relieved myself and washed my face, I returned to Edwa-something's bedroom to find him frantic.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned. He quickly turned around his green eyes meeting my brown ones. His once rigid posture relaxed, and his frown turned into a relieved smile. He sauntered over to me and pulled me into his warm embrace, his hard body pressed against mine. His fingers found their way into my hair, running themselves through the thick strands.

His words came out shaky, "I thought you left me."

I held him tighter, my voice firm, "Never." I kissed his naked chest, but needing to taste more, I placed open mouthed kisses on his nipples. I smiled in satisfaction hearing his moans fill the quiet room, his dick hardening against me. I ran my fingers lightly down his back causing a shiver to run down his spine. I knew I was being a tease; starting something I couldn't finish, no matter how much I wish I could. Because trust me, I really fucking want to.

But alas, I couldn't, because Edwa-something was a virgin. His virginity wasn't something I could take lightly. He deserved to be cherished, loved. I just wasn't sure if I am capable of that. I have never been in love and I didn't exactly grow up in a loving environment. Renee and Charlie loved each other deeply, but look at the outcome. Renee grew bitter, her love for me died when Charlie did. Emmett loves me, and I love him, but sibling love is so different. Alice and I love each other even though we can't stand each other sometimes. Jasper is my best friend and I love him like a brother and I know he thinks of me as a sister, but again those kinds of loves are so different.

As a teenager I didn't exactly look for love, in fact I didn't believe in it. Love was for people who deserved such amazing things and at the time I thought I wasn't one of them. My teen years were especially hard for me. I had a mother who looked at me with pure disgust and voiced her hate for me too often, a brother who was too busy looking for a pussy to enter and the guilt and hatred I felt for myself because of Charlie. I was in the time of my life when I needed my parents the most, but one was dead and the other wished I was dead. Emmett was too immature – and still is – to help me with anything and also he was boy. I couldn't exactly talk to him about pimples and periods. That shit just doesn't fly.

So I was left to myself. I 'm always left alone. So how did I solve that problem? Sex and way too much of it. I didn't just like sex, I needed the feelings it gave me. Having sex made me feel wanted, desired, it was when some guy was inside me that I didn't feel so alone. Pathetic, huh?

Could I love? Was I capable of such a strong emotion? I never thought so, but Edwa-something gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I could.

Stopping my sexual workings, I looked up into his lust filled eyes and smiled. "Go take a shower and fix that very big problem." I smirked as his blush filled his cheeks. I smacked his fine ass as I walked away and left the room to his kitchen to make some breakfast. I am fucking starving.

As I went through the cup boards and the refrigerator, I realized all he had were hot pockets and cereal. Hey, don't get me wrong, I love cereal and hot pockets, but I need a home cooked meal every now and then. Not willing to put up the effort to grab a bowl, then grab the cereal box, then tilt the bow so that the cereal lands in the bowl, and then I have to get the fucking milk! Nuh-uh, way too much work for me this early in the morning. I put the hot pocket in the microwave and patiently waited for it to finish. Once it was heated, I took it out and forgetting that it was going to be fucking hot, I bit into it.

"Sonofabitch!" I screamed as tears ran down my eyes. Stupid hot pocket and stupid tongue! My eyes searched for something cold when they found the faucet. With my tongue still on fire I rushed towards it and turned it on. Instead of getting a cup I opened my mouth and drank the cool water from the faucet.

"What are you doing, love?" Edwa-something asked, a smile gracing his features. I removed my tongue from the water and turned it off. I smiled sheepishly but quickly pouted.

"I burned my tongue," I whined.

"Aw, poor Bella," he wrapped his arms around me and led me to his living room couch. He sat down and pulled me into his lap. I rested my head on his chest and played with his fingers, my burnt tongue completely forgotten.

"What are we going to do?" He looked at me quizzically. "I don't live here but you do. How are we going to make this work? Trust me I really fucking want to, but I don't know how the whole long distance relationships work."

He sighed as he played with my hair. "I need us to work too. I guess the only thing we can do is call often, and visit as much as we can." His voice contained nothing but sadness. "I won't ask you to leave your life behind for me because it wouldn't be fair. Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"Oh…"

"You don't have to say it back unless of course you mean it. I didn't say it to pressure you, but because that is what I feel for you." He told me, looking at me nervously. I wanted to say it back, I did, but it wouldn't be fair. I wish I felt as strongly as he did, but I couldn't because loving him would mean giving him every part of me. I'm just not ready to do that. Besides what if he didn't want all of me? He knew so little about me and the life I have lived. I knew that he wouldn't love me if he knew how dirty and tainted I was. Edwa-something is so pure and good, he would be disgusted by my past. I should tell him now, tell him everything – every dirty little secret, but I was selfish and I wanted to keep him, even if it was only for a little bit longer.

"I'm sorry," I whispered wishing that I could be what he deserved. He responded by holding me tighter, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

I couldn't see things getting better. Soon I will back home and he will be here, with only our phones to keep our connection. What if, while we were apart, he realized how much better he could be without me? He told me he was miserable and heart broken when I broke up with him, but that is only because he doesn't realize there were much better girls out there. I had helped him with his shyness problem, he was much more outspoken, but still a little reserved. Now he could probably talk to girls, and with his looks he could capture their attention, and with his big heart he could gain their love. He wouldn't need me anymore, but I would. I always will.

I didn't realize I was crying until he wiped my tears.

"Oh Bella, I love you so much."

__________

_I know, but you shouldn't._

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**Uh-oh Bella is feeling insecure.**

**Reviews help Bella organize her feelings**


	20. No time for food

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**Warning!!!! – There is sexual stuff in this chapter, little kids should not read. This story is rated M for a reason so this shouldn't be surprising.**

**Bella (POV)**

"So I called Alice, she is picking me up from the airport." I said sadly, packing up my suitcase. Edwa-something nodded; a frown on his face, and eyes grim. "Hey I want our last day to be somewhat happy." I walked over to where he stood and wrapped my arms around him. Feeling him against me was something I was going to miss a fucking lot. Shit I was going to miss everything about my man. Edwa-something cupped my cheek with his large hand, stroked my face with his thumb, and looked deeply into my eyes. It was almost as if he was trying to memorize my face. "I will always come back to you." I promised. A part of me still feared that he would move on while I was away, but then the other apart just wanted to enjoy the time I had with him now. What I did know about relationships is that you need trust to make things work. I needed to trust that Edwa-something meant it when he told me he loved me and that I was the only one he wanted.

My words seemed to trigger something inside him for he kissed me eagerly. Our lips caressed, every stroke of our tongues held meaning and words left unspoken. He crushed my body to his, his fingers digging into the small of my back, but not painfully, he would never hurt me. My hands found their way into his hair as my lips remained attached to his. The amazing sensation that only he could make me feel ran through my body like wild fire, scorching my body with heat and passion. As our kiss grew more passionate I began unbuttoning his shirt; needing to feel his skin. Once the buttons were undone I ran my hands up and down his hard chest yet amazingly soft skin. Edwa-something's hands moved from my back to my hips then ever so slowly his fingers crept up my shirt. Our lips broke apart for only a moment when he lifted my shirt from my body and threw my shirt across the room. He quickly hugged me back to him. The feeling of his skin against mine was one I would never tire of. It was pure ecstasy.

"Can I do something?" I asked breathlessly.

"Anything you desire Bella," he replied just as breathless. I smiled as my hands made their way farther and farther down his chest towards his pants. I broke apart from his lips to start my assault on his neck. His breath grew more unsteady as I unbuttoned his pants and slowly brought the zipper down. "Bella," he panted. I put my fingers through the loops of his jeans and gently pulled them down, leaving him in his boxers and his erection standing proud. He kicked off his jeans and I risked a glance at him. His cheeks held an adorable blush as he looked at me through nervous eyes. "I've never done anything like this Bella." Edwa-something admitted.

I placed a comforting kiss on his lips before saying, "We are not going to go all the way – neither of us is ready. This is all about you; I want to make you feel good. Please, when I leave I want you to remember this, I want you to remember the feelings I gave you." He nodded and gave me a lust filled smile, telling me to continue. I began to kiss his neck again as my hands slowly pulled down his boxers. When they were off he kicked them off too and stood before me –his body tense. My eyes widened, a gasp escaping my mouth, when I saw the glorious sight of his penis. It was fucking beautiful, seriously, it was probably hand made from the God – it left me drooling. Edwa-something took my silence as rejection because he quickly went in search of his boxers. "No please!" He stopped and again stood before me, looking anywhere but at me. "You are so fucking gorgeous." I kissed him hungrily, my hands exploring his chest. My kisses left his lips, to his neck, down his chest, and towards the promise land.

I went on my knees before him, face to face with his manhood. Licking my lips I prepared to open my mouth and take him in my mouth. I leaned forward and took him in my mouth, fully tasting his essence. He tasted just as delicious as I knew he would, my mouth eagerly took more if him in, as far as I could. He moaned my name and held my shoulders, and then one of his hands weaved through my hair, urging me to do more. Who was I to deny him? Using my lips, I caressed him, my tongue moving in swirls. I sucked up his shaft causing moans of pleasure to escape Edwa-something's lips. I never liked giving head before, it was always the part of sex I dreaded, but for him, I would do it for him anytime. I wanted to give him this experience; I wanted to be the only one to do this to him.

Without stopping the movements of my mouth, I brought my hand to the base of his shaft and lightly squeezed to bring him bliss instead of pain. "Shit," he panted. My mouths motions never faltered, as my right hand worked him, my left hand cupped his balls and massaged them. I increased my movements, going at a faster pace when I felt him tremble.

"Oh _fuck _Bella!" I felt his cum hit the back of my throat. I eagerly swallowed all he had to give, loving that taste of him. A sense of pride and satisfaction filled me knowing that I have done something for him that no other woman ever has and hopefully never will. I was the one that made him orgasm, not that Tanya slut. I pulled away and smiled from my place at the ground at my very flustered man. "That was incredible."

I smiled and stood up and cupped his cheek. "Remember that."

He smiled, his face glowing from the orgasm he just experienced, "I couldn't even if I tried."

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**Edwa-something (POV)**

I held onto Bella tightly, never wanting to let go. I inhaled her sweet scent; my hands ran up and down her soft strands of hair. I nuzzled my face into her neck making her giggle. "I don't want you to leave." I pouted. Bella's small hand found its way into my hair, scratching gently; calming me. So much has happened between, making our relationship stronger. We even went farther sexually. It was the best experience of my life; Bella had touched me in places only my hand had ventured. I so badly wanted to return the favor – bring her pleasure – but she wouldn't allow it, saying that it was only about me this time. My love for her was only growing by the day, my heart held so much hope that she would one day feel the same.

"I fucking don't either but I have to. I promise I'll visit as soon as possible." I nodded feeling a lump in my throat and a pang in my chest. Bella looked in the direction of where she would be boarding the plane and sighed sadly. "I need to leave now." She announced.

After trying my best to smile, I quickly gave up, there was no use. I wasn't going to smile today or tomorrow, not until Bella came back to me. "I'm going to miss you, I love you so much Bella."

She pulled me into a deep kiss, our bodies trying to get as close as they could, but no matter how hard we pressed against each other it didn't seem like enough. "Baby I really have to go," Bella said regretfully after she broke the kiss.

I smiled sadly. "I love it when you call me baby." She smiled and gave me a chaste kiss, only making me want more. My body yearned for her touch, her presence that could comfort me no matter what state I was in. We promised to call each other and visit, but it wouldn't be enough. I needed her, her touch, to remind me that she was with me – that she wanted me. Bella had more experience with the opposite sex than I did making me fear that I wasn't enough for her. But I had to trust and believe that Bella wouldn't leave me, and that she would one day love me.

"Bye baby," She waved goodbye and ran to board her plane. I closed my eyes; already missing her.

**Bella (POV)**

"Thanks." I said as Alice helped me put my bags into the trunk of her car.

"No problem, let's get your ass home." After several minutes of silence Alice began to question me. "So did you beat the slut up? What happened over there?"

"Hells yea I beat her ass up cause that's how I roll. You should have seen that blood, it was epic! But Alice I'm really freaked out here, and I'm so confused."

She arched her perfectly shaped eyebrow at me, completely ignoring the road. "Why?"

"Damn it watch the road!" She rolled her eyes but obeyed. "Our relationship is getting pretty serious, I don't know if I can handle it."

Alice sighed, "Bella you don't realize how good this is for you. You of all people need some love in your life. You need Edward just as much as he needs you; I mean who else was going to get him out of his hermit shell? For years I tried and it only took you like a month. And you have so much emotion hurt; I wonder how you can stand it. Hopefully you guys can fix each other, maybe Edward can heal you. Please don't run away again Bella, it would only cause pain and heartbreak."

I nodded as I let her words sink through. Could he heal me? Would he want to? I fucking hated that I was so messed up – so emotionally bruised and scarred.

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"My little pain in the ass sister is here!" Emmett boomed, scooping me into a suffocating hug. After he let me go so I could breathe, I hugged Jasper.

"Emmett be useful and get my bags," I ordered. He rolled his eyes but did what I said. "Jasper?" I asked softly. He turned to me and asked me what was wrong. "Can you come with me outside?" He nodded and followed me to the back yard.

"So what's up?" Jasper asked with his hands in his pockets since it was cold outside. I nervously looked around; making sure no one was around to hear our conversation. When the coast was clear I coughed and fidgeted with my hands. I didn't know how to start if I even wanted to go through with asking my questions. But is so badly needed answers and I didn't feel comfortable asking anyone else but Jasper – I just had to grow a pair.

"Jasper, how do you know if you are in love? Is there signs that let you know or do you know completely by random?" I asked frantic.

Jasper looked taken aback as his widened. "Wow I never expected you to ask that. Why?"

I looked at the floor and spoke in a quiet voice, "He told me he loved me."

"I must say I'm proud of Edward." I looked up curiously. "I just never thought he would be the one to say it first, but it's not much of surprise that he loves you. Hell, Alice, Emmett, and I already knew he was."

"How?!"

"Bella it's clear as day on his face. He looks at you the way I look at Alice – like you are his lifeline. Love is complicated but overall it's a beautiful feeling. It's strong but don't let it overpower you – don't let it blind you. I can't really tell you how you know if you're in love, you just know. There is just a moment in time when you realize that you can't live without this other person in your life. You just grasp the fact that if this person was to leave you, you would be broken – shattered. You comprehend that they are your air – your life. Don't over think it Bella, one day you will know."

"Thanks that was actually really fucking helpful."

"Anytime, I'm glad you came to me. Bella?"

"Yea?"

"The man who earns your love will be a very lucky guy." He walked away into the house leaving me to think about what he said.

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	21. Cereal and microwaveable stuff

**Hey peeps! Long time no see, huh? Sorry about that but school has been a big pain in the ass. So please forgive me and my slowness for I will try much harder to update!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight yadda yadda**

**My awesome Beta - Team Edcob 4 life (go read her stories now! There so fucking awesome!)**

**Bella (POV)**

I never thought I that I would depend so much on an object. Ever since I came back home my phone has become my lifeline. It was my one connection to Edwa-something, the only thing that could link me to him. Since we no longer had the luxury of being in the same house, we had to rely on our phones to keep in contact. His voice wasn't enough though. I needed his arms, his smile, his smell, and most of all the way I felt when he held me. Fuck I missed it all, I wanted it all. I used to make fun of the girls who claimed they needed their boyfriends like they needed air. Hell, I even swore to myself if I ever became like them, I would shoot myself. Give me the gun, I'll do it. Nah, I'm too chicken shit to do it.

Since I had no boyfriend to distract me, I have put all my time into my work since I was seriously falling behind schedule. Just yesterday I submitted my new story in for editing and I am now currently waiting for their thoughts. Meaning I don't have anything to do and no one to bug for my own entertainment. I haven't seen Jasper and Alice in weeks, Emmett is too busy fucking Rosalie, and Poncho went to Mexico to visit the rest of his family. I would call someone else but they get annoying after a while and my nerves are so on edge that I might end up killing one of them. And I highly doubt I'll get away with it, meaning I'll go to jail, and become the bitch of a woman named Beef. As appealing as that sounds, I am a one man kind of girl now. Wow, who would have thought that I would stop my promiscuous ways? I try not to dwell on it much because it just reminds me that I haven't gotten any dick in two months. It's been two months since I came home meaning two months without Edwa-something. These two months have not been fun.

After doing my usual morning routine which consisted of showering, changing, doing my hair and all that shit, I went downstairs to get me food. My stomach was loudly protesting the lack of food it had as I walked into the kitchen. I searched all the cabinets, looked through the refrigerator, and went on my knees in search of crumbs on the floor, but I found nothing. "Fucking Emmett," I muttered angrily. Of course my brother had to eat all the food. Jackass didn't even bother going grocery shopping to replace all the food he probably inhaled.

_Or maybe he did …_

I went through the kitchen again, but instead of hunting for food I hunted for a note. After wasting thirty minutes of my life – minutes I will never get back – searching for a stupid note, that may or may not exist, I lost all hope. But then I realized something. This is Emmett we're talking about, were would he put a note? I looked in the cookie jar, the freezer, I even checked the vegetable bin, but then I smacked myself in the head because Emmett would never go near anything healthy. I was going to give up when I realized that there was one place I didn't check.

I walked to the microwave and opened it. I groaned when I saw the note, thinking about how much time I wasted on a little piece of paper. I grabbed the note and opened it, revealing a short message in messy scrawl.

_Dear my lovely sister/pain in my ass,_

_I ate all the food. I knew that I could have done the right thing by getting more food but then I said nah and headed over to my Rosie's house. An option that would benefit me and my member. So I have left you the task on getting more food! You should feel very honored right now, little sis. So go off and get your ass to the grocery store and get me food cause I'm going to be hungry later._

_Do not fail the mission!_

_The most handsome man on the earth/your brother/sex-on-a-stick/body to die for – your brother Emmett._

I shook my head in anger, but without my control, a chuckle escaped me. I was seriously considering not getting food, knowing that I could last much longer without food than he could, but decided against it. It's not like I had anything to do anyway. Even though I was sort of angry at Emmett I quickly understood that there was no point, and besides I didn't have the energy to be mad at him. Once I got in my car and drove off to the market, I remembered that Edwa-something hasn't called me. What's the dealio? He usually calls me every day. My mind came up with several disturbing ideas as to why he didn't call so I simply decided to ignore them. I needed to trust him, and besides I need my space and he needs his. Surely I can go one day without speaking to him…right? Oh geez I sound pathetic! I just need to focus on getting food and then the day will be over before I know it.

Parking my car, I could have sworn I saw a very familiar car in the parking lot. I focused more on the car and almost gasped when I saw the model of the car. Should I leave? Taking another quick glance at the car, I took a deep breath and exited my car. It probably wasn't even him. With my head held high, I squared my shoulders, and marched to the automatic doors. I was going through the numerous aisles when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Looking at the screen, I read the caller id, and smiled.

**Jac-o-something (POV)**

Okay so I got enough cereal to last me a fucking lifetime, so what's left? I can't cook to save my life so I rely on cereal and microwaveable stuff.

I drove to the market as soon as I saw that I was dangerously low on food.

I was looking at all the food I couldn't cook when I heard a familiar voice. A voice that I hated yet desperately wanted to hear again.

"Hey babe," Bella said.

Babe? I walked towards her voice but I soon came to an abrupt stop when I saw her in the chip aisle. I went on the other side of the aisle so that she couldn't see me but I could still hear her voice.

"You know I missed you too…yea?... actually do you want to know what I want?... I want to feel you against me; I want to fall asleep in your arms." My stomach tightened, my hands clenched, and my heart raced. I wanted to scream, yell, and direct all my anger at anything in reach, but I had to keep calm. I listened to the rest of the conversation as I followed her around the super market. There were several close calls, but I managed to remain hidden. By the sounds of it Bella was in a relationship. She was in a relationship that didn't involve me. Bella was supposed to be with me, she was supposed to be my girlfriend. What, was I not good enough? And who was this guy anyway? During the whole conversation she never said his name, never gave any information that would lead me to his identity.

The more she talked to him the angrier I became. She spoke with such affection and happiness, as if he was her world. I wanted to be her world, but she wouldn't let me, she wouldn't even give us a try. Her words hurt me the day she said she wanted nothing to do with me. I have never been rejected before so I wasn't used to the feeling, making it that much harder. I was never interested in relationships, truthfully I never wanted one, I never saw the draw. But with Bella, it was different. I could almost see our future together. We would have been perfect.

Bella had everything I wanted in a girl. She was feisty, stuck up for herself, she was so damn beautiful, was great in bed, and she had so much more to offer.

I tried to convince her about being with me with phone calls and messages. I never received a reply, leaving me to wonder if she even read them. I called her in the hopes of making her mine, only to have her turn me down – reject me. I was so angry, so naturally I told her off and hung up. But ending the phone call didn't end the pain or pacify the anger I felt.

I did my best to forget about her, I did, but she was always in the back of my mind. As sick as it is I even thought about her when I was with other women. I always wished I was inside her, making her scream my name, but then I would blink, revealing some random girl who will never mean anything to me. It was even harder to forget about her when I saw her talk with Poncho.

I wish I could I say I would rather be her friend then be nothing at all, but I just can't do it. I know I would always think about her in a more than friend's way and I don't think I could be around her if she was with someone else. Even now, knowing that someone had the right to call her his girlfriend made me so angry and jealous. If I were her friend how would I handle these emotions without going fucking insane? I couldn't, I would go mad and who knows what I would do.

I watched Bella as she smiled and laughed, holding the phone tightly to her ear. I could have been that guy, the one who made her happy, and I can still be that guy. I had a few tricks up my sleeve that will surely have Bella under my arm in no time. I just needed some more information on her boyfriend.

**Bella (POV)**

I was unloading all the groceries into the trunk of my car when I heard Edwa-something sigh into the phone. "Hey what's with the sad noises?" I asked hoping to cheer him up in some way. I mean I wasn't exactly happy with the distance between us, and I often bitched about it, but I didn't want to waste the time we had with things we couldn't change.

"I just – I miss you Bella. My heart practically beats out of my chest when I see someone with brown eyes or brown hair – it's maddening. My arms feel empty with you to hold, and my body especially misses you when I try to sleep. Home doesn't feel like home anymore, home is where you are, I should be with you. I love you Bella." Edwa-something told me into the phone, his voice soft and tired.

I opened the door to my car and got inside. I sat down and let his words fill my head. If only he realized how much I missed him too, that I also needed him. "I miss you so much. Having you here was so amazing; since you're gone I became conscious of the fact that I took your presence for granted. Most of all, I miss your smile. Every single time I managed to make you smile, I felt like I was worth something."

Edwa-something let out a breath, "Bella you are worth so much. You are my everything, my all."

My heart felt like it was being squeezed as I let out a ragged breath. I didn't like where this conversation was going, I was never good at all this emotional stuff. It was all becoming too much. I ran my hand through my hair in hopes that it would soothe my nerves, but to no avail. My nerves were still in their all time high. It's not that I didn't like his sweet words; it's just that I wasn't use to them. Never in my life have I ever truly mattered to someone, and honestly it felt nice.

Fuck I'm losing my edge.

"Bella you know I want nothing more than to talk to you for hours but I have to go, okay?" I nodded event though he couldn't see me and told him I will talk to him later. He ended his goodbye with an 'I love you' and I ended mine with a dirty comment.

**Edwa-something (POV)**

Work was becoming more and more stressful. I never loved my job, not even close, but I still felt a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Work was the one thing that showed I could be somewhat social, that I could sort of be normal. But then things started changing. My job suddenly became tiring and with everyday that passed, my resentment towards it grew. The only place I wanted to be at was with Bella, in her home, and preferably in her room. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, touch her, and feel her _everywhere._ For some reason Bella was hesitant about having sex with me. Although I am nervous, since I never have done it before, I want Bella to be my first, and my last. Perhaps, overtime, Bella will love me as much as love her and that will be the day we both make love for the first time. I know I am far from being Bella's first but I know I will be the first person she ever makes love to.

I was leaving my office when I bumped into Tanya. "Oh, I'm so s –," She stopped speaking when she realized who I was. Tanya ran off, her eyes wide with horror. After the confrontation with Bella, Tanya hasn't said one word to me and has done her best to avoid any type of contact. No I don't miss her, but I have begun to feel sorry for her. I often see her looking behind her shoulder every now and then, almost as if she is waiting for Bella to come after her again. It appears that Bella has scarred Tanya for life, not only emotionally, but physically as well. Her face had several cuts and bruises after the fight, but that is not what bothered Tanya the most. Tanya threw a huge tantrum when she found out that she would have a permanent bump on her nose. Poor girl, her appearance has always been everything to her. Rumors have spread around the office saying that she is going to have the bump surgically fixed. Which I think is quite drastic, since although the bump is big, it's not necessary because if you squint your eyes, turn you head, then close your eyes completely, and imagine that the bump is gone, then it's like nothing happened!

The bruises have healed but some scratches have healed and become scars, which again, heavily angered Tanya to the point of a fit. I expected her to be angry at me and make my life hell, but she has done the exact opposite. She completely ignores me. When she sees me walking down the hall, she walks the other way. When I walk into the lunch room, she walks out. When we are forced to talk to each other, she speaks quietly and chooses her words carefully. The whole situation is rather odd.

I made it to my house shortly after leaving the office and I quickly walked inside. I sighed as I walked in my empty apartment, feeling lonelier than ever. I never missed the company of others because I never experienced it and the idea of such a thing use to scare me, but now I knew what it felt like. Now I know that I can actually enjoy someone's company, and even want it. Bella showed me all of that.

Walking past the kitchen I heard my stomach growl so I made myself a sandwich and walked to my bedroom. After I finished I placed my empty plate on my nightstand causing me to see the picture of Bella I had there. It was the picture of her that Alice sent me so long ago. If only I realized how important she would be to me back then, then I would have had her so much sooner. But I can't dwell on that because it would only anger me of how much time I had wasted. I looked at her picture again, marveling at the beauty it held in one frame, but it couldn't compare to the real thing. Smiling sadly, I went to bed and fell into a deep sleep, thinking about my love.

I woke up the next day only to find out that I had a wet dream about Bella. I was very disappointed that it wasn't real. _What I wouldn't give for it to be real. _I wanted to touch her in intimate places and vice versa. My body ached to feel her hot body pressed against mine, as we connected in places only lovers connect.

My mouth turned down into a frown when I realized I needed to take _another _cold shower. In the shower as I washed my body, a thought came to mind, making me smile.

**Bella (POV)**

"Bella, hold still, will you?" Alice asked impatiently as she finished painting my last toenail. I was so desperate for human interaction that I went to my last resort: Alice. "There, it's all done and I must say your feet have never looked prettier."

"There feet Alice, how attractive can they be?"

"Just take my compliment!"

"Fine, but don't expect me to do yours." I told her, crossing my arms.

Alice pouted, "Why?"

Holding back a smile I said, "Because your feet are scary. Seriously, they are so funky looking." Alice's eyes widened as soon as the word came from my mouth. Using her flexibility, Alice grabbed her foot and held it up to her face.

Her eyes looked like they were on the verge of tears as she examined her foot, "Really?"

Losing all of my control I burst out laughing. You should have seen her facial expression! I held on to my sides as they started to hurt, but the pain was so worth it. Alice huffed as she stood up and walked to my bed. She grabbed my pillow and came back so she could immediately start hitting me with it. I ran away from her and grabbed a pillow for myself. Pillow in hand, I ran to her and smacked her in the face with it.

She rubbed the right side of her face and screamed, "You bitch!"

"If you can't take it wuss then leave!" I said, knowing that she wouldn't back down from the challenge. She didn't disappoint me. We were in the middle of a huge pillow fight when Emmett walked in.

"What the hell! You guys were having a pillow fight without me?" He accused. Alice and I both stopped what we were doing and looked at each other. When the silent message between us ended we both threw our pillows at Emmett, one hitting his face, the other his crotch. "I will get you guys back, but it will have to wait. Bella someone is here for you!" He winked and walked off. Alice looked at me and shrugged before she started picking up all the nail polish bottles off the floor.

"Come on; let's see who is at the door!" Alice ran off before I could reply. I ran after her and towards the front door. She was about to open it when I ran at warped speed, and I pushed her out of the way, causing her to fall to the ground. "Hey!" Alice complained as she rubbed her ass, moaning.

"You'll get over it." I replied, opening the door. There in all his hotness, was my fucking boyfriend! I screamed in utter delight as I hugged him. He chuckled as he held me closer to him, spinning us around in my front lawn. I quickly grabbed his face and kissed him with everything in me, needing him to know how much I missed him, because I did.

"What happened to our girl time?" Alice whined from somewhere.

"Go molest Jasper or something, "I suggested before kissing Edwa-something again. We both moaned in satisfaction as our tongues met. I wrapped my legs around him then he held me up by putting his hands on my ass. Only my dreams has he touched my ass, of course in dreams he was also taking be from behind but you know…

"I love you Bella," he whispered before he reconnected our lips again. With his lips on mine everything felt like it would be alright, all I needed was him to make my life worth living.

**Jac-o-something (POV)**

I sat in my car, watching them. I saw when he knocked on the door, with a smile on his face, as he waited for someone to open the door. I saw when she opened the door looking so damn happy when she realized it was him. I saw when she hugged him, when he hugged her back like she was his everything. I saw when they kissed. I saw when she wrapped her legs around him, letting him grab her well-rounded ass. I saw it all.

I saw him touching what was mine. Something had to be done about this and soon.

**Did you think Jacob was gone for good? Well he isn't, he has something planned to shake up Bella's and Edwa-something's world. Can they handle it?**

**Reviews get you...hmmm...what do they get you?....a puppy? Ya, an imaginary puppy! Cause everyone likes puppies right! If you don't then well, I don't know. Or how about we screw puppies and I give you a teaser? Yup, that's what I will do! :)**


	22. The split without the bananna

**Your reviews are fucking epic. Seriously, thank you for all who read my story and add me to their alerts or favorites. And BIG thank you for those who review every chapter (you know who you are). For those who stay silent, well, thank you for just reading!**

**Oh and I promise that Bella will remember Edward's name soon!**

**This chapter is a doozy people, lots of shit happens and different POV'S too... SO hold on tight!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight (I hate writing these stupid disclaimers, isn't obvious that I don't own crap, well except this story line :)**

**My beta - Team Edcob 4 life (read her stories!)**

**Bella (POV)**

I led him inside, holding his hand tightly, as I laughed. He was here! I felt like a vegetarian in a tofu store. I wanted to ask so many questions, but then that seemed like such a waste of time. It all depends on what wins, my curiosity or my need for him.

Surprisingly my curiosity won. "Why are you here?" I winced at how that sounded, but all he did was smile. He grabbed both of my hands and held them tightly in his own. He looked lovingly into my eyes and gave me a chaste kiss. He pulled back, looked at me, and then looked away.

He sighed, as his face scrunched up, "I was miserable there, Bella. I couldn't stand being there for another minute, I felt like I was being suffocated. Work was so stressful, my apartment was so empty, and everything just felt wrong. I needed to see you Bella, even for only a little while."

I nodded, "So how long are you staying?" I wanted him to say for weeks, months, fuck I wanted him to stay forever. But I doubt that will happen. Why? Because when has anything ever happened to benefit me? I always get the short stick, or worse, I do something that makes shit hit the fan.

"Only for three days," he answered. I nodded again and hugged him, needing to feel him against me. Three days were so fucking better than no days. We are going to do so much in these three days. There was still a lot I needed to tell him; things he needed to know. But I have always been too chicken shit to tell him, knowing that it might possibly scare him off. I don't want that to happen. I can't let that happen.

I heard stomping sounds coming toward us and then a voice, "Isn't this cute; my sister and her _lover_ having a moment."

"Go away Emmett," I mumbled, burying my nose into Edwa-something's shoulder. I felt Edwa-something chuckle as he held me. He ran his hand up and down my back to soothe me, and boy did it work.

"Oh, you are trying to ignore me now? That is so rude, where are your manners? Bella it looks like you're chewing on his shoulder, having a snack? Bella! Bella! Bella! Stop ignoring your brother! It's like a sin or something," Emmett told us, while my boyfriend continued to laugh.

I didn't find this funny at all.

"Leave, Emmett," I ordered.

"Now why would I leave this nauseating scene?"

I let go of Edwa-something and quirked my eyebrow at Emmett. "Nauseating? Since when do you use big words?" I asked, wanting to know the answer. Emmett used words like nasty or icky, not nauseating.

"My Rosie thinks it's important for me to expand my vocabulary… or something like that. She's making me read the dictionary. Sure, it's boring as fuck, but I'd do anything for her. She told me that she won't date a retard," Emmett said, matter-of-factly.

What. The. Fuck.

"She told you what!" I screamed, causing both Emmett and Edwa-something to wince. Emmett looked taken aback by my outburst but I had every damn right to be angry. Rosalie called my brother a fucking retard!

"It's no big de –,"

"Heck yea, it's a big deal, Emmett! She insulted you; she basically said you are a dumb fuck."

Emmett's face became red with anger, while Edwa-something stood in the sidelines, unsure on what to do. Emmett walked closer to me, anger turning his brown eyes darker in color, making Edwa-something come closer to me.

Edwa-something protectively wrapped his right arm around my waist, while begging Emmett to back off with his eyes. "Okay, you both need to calm down," he suggested, but his words fell on deaf ears.

With my hand, I grabbed Edwa-something's right arm to release his hold on me, and walked towards Emmett. My brother was street smart and he knew how to deal with people, but apparently Rosalie was clouding his judgment. "Emmett, why can't you see that you can do so much better than her? She insulted you. If she cared for you so much why would she abuse you in such a way, huh? I know you are not stupid Emmett, people don't give you enough credit, and apparently neither does Rose."

Emmett's anger vanished as quickly as it came; instead, sadness took its place. "I love her Bella," he admitted.

My anger didn't disappear, no; it only intensified at his admission. Rosalie didn't deserve my brother's love, she deserved a good punch in the face, and that is exactly what I'm going to give her.

**Jac-o-something (POV)**

Since today was a slow day, I decided to have a good talk with a friend of mine.

I walked towards Poncho, who just like me, had nothing to do but sit around. He was whistling a random tune while twirling his thumbs, when I made my way over to him. Poncho was sitting on a small stool that somehow managed to hold him, while I stood in front of him.

He looked up at me, offering me a warm smile. We said our greetings, shook hands, and exchanged jokes.

I liked Poncho; he was a cool, laid back man. He also had information that I highly yearned for, information that I needed desperately. I guess you could say I'm using him, but that sounds so harsh. I'm just getting some information from a friend that I'll use for my benefit, while he is unaware of it. Yea, that sounds much better.

"So how was Mexico?" I asked, not really caring. It's not liked I missed him; I barely noticed he was gone.

A smile over took his features as he told me all about his family over there, the food, and how much he had missed his home.

Having enough, I moved onto a different topic, hoping to smoothly cross over to my topic of choice.

"But you like it here, right?"

"Of course, I do, young one! I have made many great friends here as well. It would have been a shame to not have made a certain one in particular."

_Perfect_

"Oh, and who may that be?" I smiled at him, my eyes showing nothing but curiosity.

"Bella is a lovely girl; I'm honored to call her my _hija._" What does that mean? He must have seen the utter confusion on my face, for he clarified. "_Hija _means daughter."

"But you're not her dad…wait, are you?"

He laughed, "No I am not, and it's just, uh, an endearment word."

"Oh, ok, so how is Bella?"

He shook his head while he chuckled, obviously remembering something. "Ah, that girl, she is something. Last we spoke; she was very smitten, with one very lucky young man."

Anger flared through me before I could push it back, but I quickly cooled myself down. "How great, who is he?" Even to my own ears, my voice sounded strained. I wonder if Poncho noticed it. If he did, he didn't show it.

He chuckled, "Bella doesn't fully know the man's name, but I believe his name is Edward. Do you remember him? He was the one copper head fellow that visited the shop once."

I nodded and walked away, not bothering to say goodbye, because I had the information I needed. I do remember him, how the hell did I forget? I mean, not a lot of people – or any – have copper hair. Why didn't I connect the two?

I saw him that day he kissed her in front of her house. His copper hair was shining in the fucking sunlight, for God's sake!

Now that I knew him, I could finally put things into action.

I heard the sound of a door hitting the wall roughly and then a voice followed, "Where the fuck is Rosalie!" I knew that voice. Bella.

Poncho stood up and jogged to the front office, me close behind. Poncho walked inside the office, so did many others, as I hid behind the crowd so Bella wouldn't see me. Bella's face was red with anger as she stood with her fist clenched and nose flaring.

_Damn, she's hot when she is angry_

The fucker also stood behind her – Edward. Edward and Emmett both stood behind her, obviously uncertain as to what to do. It seemed that they couldn't control her, so instead of completely unleashing her, they decided to follow, leading them here.

"Bella, please," Edward begged, grabbing onto her shoulder. Her face went down a shade, but then she looked at Emmett, turning her face red all over again.

"No, I need to have a word with the skank," Bella said, her voice lethal.

After what seemed like seconds later, Rosalie sauntered into the room, her glare set in place.

Rosalie would be so much hotter if she fucking smiled instead of that glare that she fucking owned.

Rosalie looked at all of us and screamed for us to leave. All of us jumped at the animosity in her voice, causing most of the men to scramble away. Unlike them, I slowly left the room, following the crowd, and looked at Bella's beautiful red face as I walked away.

**Poncho (POV)**

I know I shouldn't be here, listening to their conversation, but I needed to make sure Bella was alright. She has become so important to me, like a daughter. We may not be blood, but she is just as important.

I silently sat behind the desk, peering around the corner of it to look at the tense scene before me.

Miss Hale and Bella stared at each other with tense postures. Miss Hale's face was a mix between confusion and anger, while Bella's was pure hatred for the girl who stood in front of her.

Honestly, I am quite worried for Bella. Miss Hale is not the most caring woman, and definitely not the most forgiving. Bella was tough, but deep down she was just a little girl who craved for someone to love her. I wasn't sure what was deep inside Miss Hale.

"You have no right to talk shit to my brother Rosalie! Who the fuck are you to call him a retard?" Bella demanded.

Miss Hale glanced at Emmett, silently questioning him. He only offered guilty eyes.

Miss Hale was not happy with what Bella was saying, that much was clear, but she was also angry at Emmett for releasing such information. "I was doing him a favor; he needs someone to do that stuff for him. Don't you see? I'm helping him! You're just pissed because I'm doing the one thing you can't. Fuck there is a lot of stuff I can do that you can't. Jealousy isn't pretty Bella," Miss Hale taunted. Miss Hale is not a nice lady.

"How is calling Emmett a retard helping him? That is some sick shit, you know that? Emmett is smart! You are sucky girlfriend, Rosalie, you always have been."

This seemed to have hit a nerve in Miss Hale.

Miss Hale's face grew hard with anger. "Yes, because you have such a good record with men, don't you Bella?" Miss Hale said sarcastically. "Does Edward know how many men you have fucked? Hmm, I wonder if he knows every dirty secret, every naughty thing that you have done. I bet he doesn't, and by the look on his face I know he doesn't. Don't you think he deserves to know? Hiding things from your boyfriend isn't what a good girlfriend would do. Want me to help you out, and clear some stuff up for him?"

Emmett and Bella's faces grew panicked while Edward's face turned fearful. They were all unsure on what Miss Hale would release.

"Rosalie, don't," Emmett pleaded, reaching his hand out. But Rosalie ignored him, instead focusing on Bella's face. Rosalie was clearly enjoying the alarm she was causing.

Rosalie took a threatening step forward, closing the distance.

This time she focused her attention on Edward. Her voice was one of confusion, "I'm surprised that you would want to date a dirty slut who has been around the block so many times. I figured you were a smart guy Edward or are you just using her for sex." Miss Hale turned her head back to Bella. "It wouldn't be the first time, huh, Bella? And I definitely know it won't be the last."

Edward stood his ground and glared at Miss Hale, making her turn her attention back to him. "I love her; I don't need your approval or your _highly _unwanted opinion."

If I could clap right now, I would.

Rosalie face was filled with astonishment as was her voice, "Love? Wow, your dumber than I thought you were and it also means that you don't know shit!"

Emmett made a step forward, coming closer to Rosalie and Bella. "Rosalie please shut up!" Emmett begged, but with more force. "This is my sister you're talking about. If you won't do it for her, than do it for me. Please," he asked, pain and love in his eyes.

Rosalie stared at him for so long, contemplating, before she blinked, making her decision. "No, Edward deserves to know who he fell in _love_ with." She turned back to Edward. Bella's face became pale. "Edward did you know that Bella –,"

"Rosalie!" This time it was Bella who pleaded. But Rosalie went on, smirking.

"– ruined a woman's marriage by fucking her husband?"

Bella looked down guiltily, her hands behind her back. Emmett was blown away with shock, but I could see it in his eyes, he wasn't shocked because he was barely finding this out now, but because of Rosalie's betrayal. Edward on the other hand, was appalled.

Bella looked up and noticed his face. She reached out her hand to touch him, but he quickly backed away, looking at her as if he has never seen her before. Bella's face was pure agony as she looked at the one she cared so much for, back away from her like she was a monster.

"So it's true?" Edward was baffled when Bella nodded, her lower lip quivering, as she was on the verge of tears.

I wanted to hug her, protect her from the pain she was feeling but I feared I would only make things worse. My poor _hija_.

"Let me explain," Bella asked, her eyes watering. But Edward would have nothing of it.

"There is nothing to explain Bella! How could you? In what way could you do that to someone? It's like I don't know you anymore. I knew that you have have slept with a lot of men – and I could handle that – but I never knew you were capable of this. I can't even look at you right now." Edward walked away, shaking his head, and went to his car. Bella screamed for him to come back, but her cries didn't even make him hesitate. He didn't stop. Then he drove away, leaving Bella in pain, Emmett sad, Rosalie triumphant, and me very angry.

How could Miss Hale do such a thing? What happened was Bella's private business, that should have been released when she felt she was ready, but not like this. How could Edward just walk away? If he even cared for a little, he should have stayed and listened to what Bella had to say. I will be having a talk with that man soon, I swear it.

Bella crossed her arms and hugged herself, tears streaming down her face as she looked solely at the ground. Emmett gently touched her shoulders, causing her to flinch, and whispered in her ear. Bella nodded and left the office, going where Edward had also escaped.

Emmett watched his sister as she walked away, sadness filling his features, his usual smile replaced by a deep frown. His dimples were nowhere to be seen. Emmett then looked at Rosalie, the sadness was gone and so was the love, it was all replaced with fury.

"Emmett he deserved to –," Rosalie tried, but she was interrupted.

"Shut it, okay! I have had enough of your fucking mouth today. So for once you are going to listen, alright?" He gave her no time to answer. "I know you are feisty, and hell I used to think it was hot. So every time Bella or someone else would call you a bitch I would defend you, because I was the one who saw the sweet side of you, but what the fuck was that?

"She is my sister, I love her so much and you go and hurt her like that? Bella has been through so much, she doesn't need your shit too! You say you love me, but do you really? That was so uncalled for. And what Bella said was right, you did call me stupid. She was here to defend me and then you do what you always do. You always have to win, don't you? You always have to have the fucking upper hand.

"I have had enough of this, like Bella said, I deserve better."

With that, he left, leaving Rosalie Hale, the strong and powerful, crying.

"Poncho, what happened?" Jacob asked when I walked back to my station.

I sighed and shook my head, "It was horrible Jacob. Emmett is no longer with Rosalie, and it appears that Bella and Edward are no longer together as well. It was truly a heartbreaking scene, my heart aches for them."

Jacob did the most peculiar thing next. He smiled, large and wide, and hugged me. He told me thank you and then went on his merry way. How odd.

**Jac-o-something (POV)**

Today is a beautiful day.

The whole day I was organizing my plan, only to find out that I don't need to use it. They were already broken up! I only wish I could have seen it. Should I offer Bella a shoulder to cry on now or later? I should give her some space, let her calm down.

_Don't worry baby. Jacob is coming to take the pain away_

* * *

**A lot of shit went down, huh?**

**So what do you guys think about all this drama?**

**Reviews are very much loved and they will get you a teaser!**


	23. News in red

**Kay peolpe be prepared for the drama! **

**I need to say thank you to all who reviewed! Fuck, you guys make my day. And thank you for those who review even though they don't have an account! And thanks to all who read this story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**My Beta: Team Edcob 4 life**

**Edwa-something (POV)**

My mind was reeling, going haywire. Nothing made sense, my life was spiraling. All because of what Rosalie told me about Bella.

Everything in me denied that it could be possible, that there was no way it could be true. But the look on Bella's face told me everything – that it was true. She looked so guilty, so pained, all because the cat was out of the bag. She didn't want me to know, she wasn't planning on telling me. I wonder what else she has kept secret. I wonder how long she was planning on keeping me in the dark. Probably forever.

This angered me, to the point where I saw red. How could she do that to me? To that woman? Did she have no morals? No idea what was right or wrong? And how could I be so blind? I know why, because I love her, even now I still love her. But will I be able to forgive her? I don't know.

Marriage has always been a precious subject to me. Marriage was such a serious and lovely commitment. My parents always told me that marriage wasn't something to take lightly and that you should marry someone that you'll know will be with you forever. I thought I had found that in Bella.

What I couldn't understand is how could Bella have sex with a married man?

_Maybe she didn't know_

But she had to know, the look of guilt on her face said it all.

_You're judging everything on her face? And on what Rosalie said? You didn't even give Bella a chance to talk!_My inner voice argued.

What would be the point on talking to her about it? She would just tell me how much she has changed, and how she knew she made a mistake. I didn't want to hear her excuses; it would only anger me further.

_You love her, don't you?_

Yes, so much.

_So, shouldn't you be trying to make this work?_

I don't know what I should be trying to do.

**Emmett (POV)**

I felt completely helpless, I couldn't do shit to help Bella. She was hurting, that was clear, but I had no idea what to do about it. Everything was my fault. If only I had kept my mouth shut, then this would have never happened. Hell, if I would have stuck up for myself when Rosalie told me to read a dictionary then this definitely wouldn't have happened.

I was such a pushover when it came to Rosalie. That's what caused this. I was the reason behind all this mess, the reason behind Bella's suffering.

I'm so worried about her. I just waiting for her to crack, to break down. People just weren't meant to handle all this drama and pain. I'm worried that Bella won't be able to handle it.

I love Rose; she means so much to me. But I cannot stand for the way she treats my sister. I'm Bella's big brother; I need to protect her. Even from the person I love.

I know Rosalie has flaws and that she comes off as a bitch, but I looked past that. It took a while but Rosalie finally showed me the soft side of her; the caring and loving side.

But then she took things too far. I never thought Rosalie would stoop so low to do that – to my sister, to me, and to us. Did she really think I would go on like she didn't say anything? Did Rosalie think that I would so easily choose her over my sister? Bella was only trying to do what I couldn't; she was just trying to defend me.

I walked to Bella's door and knocked softly. "Hey, Bella, can I come in?" I asked, hoping she would let me in. When I received no answer, I opened the door and walked in. As soon as I stepped inside, I immediately looked at that bed, expecting her to be there, but the bed was empty.

She wasn't in her bedroom.

I fucking knew she didn't leave the house, so where else could she be? I made my way to her bed and noticed that the bathroom door was closed and that a strip of light was coming from the bottom.

I let out a breath and slowly turned the door knob. Truthfully I expected to see the things you always see in movies. You know the usual emo scene. I expected to find Bella in the bathtub, the water red from blood.

But no, she was just standing there, looking at herself in the mirror, her face emotionless. It was some scary shit.

"Bella," I whispered, hoping to alert her of my presence. But she didn't say anything, she didn't move. I tried again, but again I got nothing. After the fucking billionth time I called her name, I decided that I should shake a response out of her.

When I was about to touch her, she said, "I regret so much in my life." I nodded hoping she would continue. "There is so much I can't change, so much that I can never redo, but I'm tired of just bitching about it. I'm tired of people using it against me." She turned and looked at me. "Do you think I'm a horrible person?"

I immediately shook my head no. Bella was a good person, and a caring person, it's just that she doesn't know how to show it. And she didn't exactly grow up with people that showed her how to love.

This is another thing I fucked up with.

I knew how mom treated Bella, but instead of doing something about it, I let it slide. Why did I let it slide? Because it had nothing to do with me. I was a selfish mother fucker back then, I still am, but that's going to stop.

"I think you're a strong and amazing person," I said, telling the truth.

She looked at the mirror again. "I don't feel like a strong person. Truthfully, I don't feel anything right now. I guess I'm all cried out," she shrugged. I sighed and gently tugged on her arm, turning her towards me. Her eyes were starting to fill with tears, so I did the only thing that came to mind. I hugged her.

I felt her tears go through my shirt. "I guess there is still a little more, huh?"

She nodded as she continued to sob. I held her as her pain became my pain. If I would have been a better brother, she wouldn't be as damaged as she is now. I was so stupid back then, only thinking about myself and what benefited me. Mom always treated me with love, and I sucked it all up, leaving none for Bella. Instead of being a caring brother, instead of giving her the love she so desperately needed and craved, I ignored her. I have failed her so many times, throughout our lives, but I'm not going to anymore. I am going to do what I should have done all those years ago. I'm going to be here for her.

**Edwa-something (POV)**

I have been sitting in my car, on the side of the road, for hours. A part of me wanted to leave, run away from my problems and go back to the life of solitude. Then the other part wanted to stay, talk to Bella, and make things work. The first option would be so much easier, but much more painful. I didn't want to go back to my empty life filled with no meaning and purpose. I don't think I can go back to that. But I don't see how I can go back to the second option. Bella's deeds would always be in the back of mind, taunting me.

_You still need to talk to her_

What my inner voice didn't seem to understand was that after what I told Bella, why would she even want to see me? I knew my words were hurtful, I could tell by her face. I never thought that I would be the one to cause any harm to Bella, I am the one who is suppose to protect her, comfort her.

I did the exact opposite.

Without thinking I started driving to Bella's house. The only thing on my mind was Bella's face filled with agony when I walked away. I never wanted to see that face again.

Once I made it to her house, I turned off my car, and exited my vehicle. I had to take a deep breath before I was able to walk up to the front door. When I did, I didn't realize that Bella might not be the one to answer the door.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Emmett shouted, his anger purely directed at me. He had every right to be angry at me.

Deciding not to beat around the bush, I answered, "I'm here to see Bella."

Emmett was not happy with my response.

He dug his finger into my chest, pushed me into the yard, and closed the door behind him. Emmett's fisted were clenched, his nose flaring, and his eyes blazing. Both Bella and Emmett reacted the same way when they were angry, and both were equally threatening. Emmett shoved me, using his palms, causing me to fall to the ground.

He stood above me, glaring at me. "So you want to talk to Bella, is that right? So you see her when it conveniences you? Well fuck that! You just left her Edward! You didn't give her a chance to explain, and you sure as hell believed Rosalie so damn quickly. I thought you loved her, Edward! When you love someone you give them the benefit of the doubt, but no, you couldn't handle it. I can admit that my sister doesn't have the best track record but she sure as hell deserves better than that stunt you pulled Edward!"

He continued to yell and scream, causing several neighbors to look outside their windows in order to look at us. When Emmett's voice grew softer, I decided that it would be a good time to get up.

Boy was I wrong.

As soon as I shifted my weight to get up, Emmett punched me in the face, leaving me back on the floor. "Did I say you could get up?" Emmett asked, his once diminishing anger coming back in full force. I lightly touched my left eye and winced at the pain I felt. The left side of my face felt like it was being poked with needles repeatedly.

_That is so going to be a black eye_

"Emmett please let me explain," I pleaded. Emmett nodded slightly, but didn't bother to help me up, even though he saw I was struggling. Once I was standing, I prepared to explain my mistakes. "Emmett I do love your sister, so much it hurts, don't ever doubt that. I see how you could since I haven't really acted like I love her, so I do understand why you feel the way you do. When Rosalie told me… that piece of information, something inside me snapped. I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships, actually I don't have any experience. I was always the loner kid, the one person that everyone saw but never acknowledged.

"Kids used to talk to me, but they gave up when I never responded. That was completely my fault. I didn't talk to anyone because I was so afraid that I would mess things up or say the wrong thing, so I chose to say nothing at all. And besides you can't feel hurt, rejection, or humiliation if you don't let anyone get too close. But Bella showed me you can't feel love, happiness, and bliss either.

"I have dealt with the fact that Bella is no virgin, which I admit was hard for me. I always believed that you had sex after marriage, like the old-fashioned days, but now-a-days it isn't like that anymore. I get that, but it's still hard, you know? I sound like a prude don't I? Well, I'm not exactly innocent either. I have had more fantasies about your sister than I can count." Emmett growled at that, but I continued. "The fact that Bella has had so many lovers, made me feel insecure. Truthfully everything about Bella makes me feel insecure. She is so beautiful, fun, smart, and funny. Everyone likes her, and so many guys want her, meaning she could so easily be taken away from me. I don't think I could live with that.

"So instead of her leaving me, I used the episode down at Rosalie's as a way for me to leave her. I know what I did was stupid and hurtful, but instead of just wallowing in my own stupidity, I want to fix it. I need her, Emmett. Please, let me fix this," I begged, hoping I could reach him. I needed to talk to Bella in order to fix the damage I caused. I made a mistake by just leaving like that, without giving her a chance to explain. I let my insecurities and my fear of being heartbroken rule my actions; I wasn't going to let that happen again.

Emmett sighed, "Dude, I need to warn you. Bella… something is wrong with her. She's not even sad or angry or anything – she's numb."

I was left confused by his words. "Wait, what do you mean?"

Emmett rubbed the back of his head, clearly unsure on how to explain it. "Well, at first she just cried, and I thought that things would be better after that, but then she got weird. It's hard to explain. She is just – she's just…"

I looked at the house, knowing that somewhere behinds those walls, was Bella. "Can I go to her?"

"Sure, I guess. I just hope you can fix her, because I have done everything I can. I'm really trying to be there for her, but I just keep fucking up."

I walked over to him, and I gently put my hand on his shoulder. His eyes met mine, showing me all the guilt and frustration he felt. I told him it was going to be okay, but I didn't believe it myself. It must have shown, for the frown never left his face.

He motioned me towards the house, telling me to go inside, while he remained in the front yard. With all the confidence I could muster, I opened the front door, and made my way inside. The house was silent as death, causing a shiver to run up and down my spine. I went up the stairs, towards Bella's room, in the hopes that she would be there. When I opened her bedroom door, I found that it was empty, and cold.

I sat on her bed, and imagined that she was there, under the covers, waiting for me. But she wasn't. I went towards the door that led to the bathroom and opened it, just making sure she wasn't in there.

She wasn't inside, but she did leave something behind.

There, on the mirror, written with red lipstick, was a note. I stood in front of the mirror and gasped when I read what it said.

_Oh, God. Please, no!_

"Emmett!"

**Emmett (POV)**

I was chewing on a blade a grass, because I was curious, when I heard Edward scream my name. I ran into the house, expecting the worse.

After Bella cried her heart out, I hoped that it would mean she would be okay, that she could move on. But things took a turn for the worst. It's like her emotions shut off. She didn't react to anything, her eyes were blank, and her body was stiff as fucking stone. She was like a freaking zombie, except she didn't want my brains. Or did she?

Nah, I'm playing.

But it was still some crazy shit. I did everything I could to shake her out of it; I slapped her, screamed at her, threw water at her, and I seriously considered calling a priest, but decided not to. I didn't want her head to roll around like in that movie.

I felt like I was losing my sister. I felt like she was slipping away from me right in front of my eyes. When she did decide to react she just told me to leave her alone, and that everything would work out, one way or another. I didn't believe her, but I decided that I should give her some space – let her get her emotions in check.

Apparently something went down when I left her alone.

I ran upstairs, and launched myself into Bella's room. When I heard Edward scream my name again, I realized that he was in the bathroom. I walked in to see Edward staring at the mirror, his face a mixture of shock and fear.

I was going to ask him to stop checking himself out, when I saw the writing.

_Dear whomever this may concern, or whatever,_

_I can't be here anymore or at least for a while. There is a place I need to go, a person I need to see – desperately. I don't mean to hurt anyone, but this is something I need to do. I just don't feel like being alive right now, and I need to fix that. I want to be better again, not the fuck up I became. But I don't know how I can change. Everything hurts. I'm in so much pain, and there is only one person who can make it better – who can make me better. If I don't heal, or at least improve, I don't know what I'll do. But I promise you all, that if I know I won't change, then I won't come back. You don't need me to bring you down. Everyone has dragged me along their entire lives, maybe now you'll get peace._

_Emmett, I know I have never said it to you, but I want you to know that I love you. _

_Your sister/person that you were stuck with _

_Bella_

And just like that my world came crashing down. My sister was gone, and by the looks of that note, she wasn't doing anything good.

**Jasper (POV)**

I held Alice's naked body close to mine. Making love with Alice was always mind blowing and often exhausting because Alice had amazing stamina. We had just finished round two when my phone rang. I was going to let it go to voicemail when Alice nudged me with her finger.

"Get it, it's important," Alice told me. I sighed, moving my body to get the phone that was on the nightstand.

_I should have put it on silent_

I looked at the screen to see that Emmett was calling me. What does he want? "Hello Emmett," I greeted, rubbing my eyes.

"Jasper! Man, you need you to get down here; I don't know what to do! Edward is going crazy," Emmett rushed, his words coming out in gasps. I heard loud banging noises and screaming coming from the background.

I sat up in bed, pulling a worried Alice with me. "Emmett, talk slower, and tell me what happened from the beginning," I told him, while trying to figure out what was happening in the background.

"Jasper, just please come down here!"

I told him I would be there as soon as I could, and then we hung up.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked me as we put on our clothes.

I scratched my head, and said, "I don't know, but whatever it is, it isn't good." I knew Alice wasn't satisfied with my information, but I just didn't have anything else to offer her. Emmett sounded so scared, so panicked; it worried me deeply. I noticed that Emmett mentioned Edward, but not Bella, meaning that something must have happened to her.

_I hope Bella is okay_

The drive to Bella's house was tense and questions filled the air, as Alice and I tried to come up with theories.

I told Alice what I thought, "I know it has something to do with Bella. What do you think?"

Alice nodded. "Yes, it does have to do with her, I can feel it, but I just don't know what exactly." It was obvious that Alice was frustrated at not knowing, but we simply had to wait till Emmett told us what was going on.

As soon as we got there, we jumped out of the car, and raced to the front door. The door was already open, so we let ourselves in, not realizing what we would be walking into.

The house was wrecked.

There was broken plates everywhere, picture frames smashed, and ripped pillows scattered on the floor. Alice and I stood there, our mouths agape, but then we heard someone screaming.

"WHERE IS SHE? WHERE COULD SHE HAVE POSSIBLY GONE?" Edward hollered, from somewhere upstairs. Alice and I quickly ran up the steps. We heard the screams coming from Bella's room, making us run faster, past even more damage. Edward really messed up the place.

We walked into Bella's room, to see Edward in front of Emmett, staring him down. "Edward, come on, please calm down," Emmett pleaded, but Edward just shook his head.

"CALM DOWN? I DON'T WANT TO CALM DOWN!" Edward roared, his face red from anger.

Alice let out a slight gasp, causing Edward and Emmett to look at us, both having different reactions to our presence. Emmett was relieved immediately while Edward's anger levels rose. I made slow steps towards him, trying to ease him up to me. Edward stepped back slightly, his face wary.

He was calming down, but I was worried that he would lash out again at anytime. I looked at him and noticed that his fists were bloody and his clothes were torn, he also had a nasty black eye.

Something definitely happened to Bella.

"Edward, listen to me," I said softly.

"Back off," Edward growled.

"Answer me this, would Bella like this Edward? Would she want to see you this way? I don't think she would." Edward's face looked pained – tortured.

He shook his head, his voice broken, "She's not here to see me Jasper; she's gone." He sunk to the floor, his bloody fists clutching on to his hair. Emmett went to him and soothingly rubbed his back.

"You guys really need to go to the bathroom," Emmett suggested.

Alice looked at him with confusion, but he just motioned to the bathroom. I grabbed Alice's hand, and we walked to the bathroom. Unlike the rest of the house, the bathroom was perfectly fine, but the red writing caught my attention.

Alice and I clung to each other as we read the note.

_No, this can't be!_

Alice cried as I held her, screaming that this couldn't be true. Slowly and carefully, I walked us back to Bella's room, where Emmett and Edward waited for us.

"How long as she been gone?" I asked, my voice cold.

"We don't know when she left, but we noticed she was gone around an hour ago," Emmett explained sadly. I nodded, pain filling my body. My best friend was gone.

"Emmett, what led to this?" Edward flinched at my question, and then his body started to tremble as grief overtook him. Alice let go of me and ran to comfort her brother. They held each other as they cried.

Emmett then told us what happened today, from when Bella found out that Rosalie called him stupid to where Edward came back to talk to Bella after he left.

Both Alice and I glared at Edward, while Alice screamed at him for just walking away like that. Edward told us that he fully regretted it, and that we couldn't imagine the pain he felt. I believed him; he thought that this was entirely his fault. But it wasn't. Alice knew this as well.

"Emmett take Edward to the hospital, I think his fists might need stitches, and while you're at it you should call the police."

"No," I said.

Alice looked at me incredulously. "No?"

I sighed, my voice sad, "It will only be a waste of time. Bella has to be gone for at least twenty-four hours until the cops will do anything."

They agreed on the plan, leaving Alice and I alone in the house. I suggested we clean up the house, but Alice had other ideas. She grabbed my hand, took my keys, and pulled me outside toward our car. She got inside, and without telling me where we were going, she drove to who knows where. I begged her to tell me where we were going but I only seemed to aggravate her further. I could tell she was angry. Her eyes held fury laced with sadness.

Bella and Alice fought a lot, yes, but they also cared for each other deeply.

A little while later, we were in Rosalie's car shop parking lot. Alice turned off the ignition, got out of the car, and marched to where the secretary sat. I ran after her, confused as to why we were here. The secretary greeted us kindly, but Alice interrupted her with a cold voice as she asked for Rosalie.

_Uh-oh_

Moments later, Rosalie came out, looking horrible. She was far too pale, her blue eyes were lifeless, and she walked sluggishly towards us. I'm guessing she didn't take the break up to well.

"Hello Alice, Jasper," she said surprised, obviously not expecting to see us. But before she could say anything else, Alice punched her in the face, causing Rosalie to fall on her butt on the floor. "What –,"

"Shut up, bitch!"Alice grabbed her by the collar of Rosalie's shirt and pulled Rosalie closer, to where their faces were inches apart. "You fucked up everything, you know that? Just when my best friend and brother were happy, you had to go and ruin everything! Did you know that Bella is gone? That she wishes she weren't alive? Do you want to know how we found out? We found out by a note, and we were too late to stop her. I blame you for being such a bitter bitch that is going to deserve everything karma gives you. I hope you feel like shit for all the damaged you caused. I gave you that nasty bruise on your face because I want your face to match how ugly you are on the inside."

And with that, Alice roughly let her go and walked away.

**I promised drama, didn't I? Who else is proud of Alice? I know I am! Rosalie needed a good punch in the face.**

**So where do you think Bella is? And what is she doing? Don't worry all this drama is important and needed**

**Reviews are very much loved and you will get a teaser when I write it!**


	24. Not in Mcdonalds

**Hello lovely and awesome readers! I am so fucking sorry that I didn't respond to reviews but my computer is busted and I am posting this from my cousins computer so I didn't have a lot of time. This chapter was really hard to write for there was so many possibilties and so many things could have happened, but this is what I stuck with. I hope you will like it! Thanks for all who do review for I am sorry I didn't reply but I did read them and I loved and cherished each one!**

**Beta - Team Edcob4life - Where did you go?**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight, but the plot is all mine!**

**Edwa-something (POV)**

Nothing had been the same since Bella left. No one smiled anymore, and if we did, it was merely a small smile that disappeared as soon as it came. We had all been searching for her nonstop, desperately looking for a clue or a hint as to where she might be. But so far, we had received nothing.

This was my entire fault.

If I hadn't been stupid, if I hadn't walked away, than she would be here right now. I was so foolish to not realize the mistake I was making. I made a mistake that I couldn't take back.

As soon as the twenty four hours were up, we immediately called the police to place a missing person report. It has been two days since we called and we still have come up with nothing.

The police told us that since Bella pretty much said she didn't want to see us, not much could be done. Bella had the right to not talk to us, so there was not much they could do.

We have come up with little information on where she might be. We have no leads, and dwindling hope. Bella hasn't used her credit card for anything and no one has reported seeing her. Although, we have received several calls from psychics saying that they have seen Bella in several places: a wet, cold place, in a desert running out of water, Las Vegas, Japan, and in a Mcdonalds. That didn't exactly help us.

We were running out of options.

I needed Bella, I needed to know that she was alright – that she was safe and warm. My arms craved to hold Bella again, my lips ached to kiss her, but that wouldn't happen if I couldn't find her.

I had to find her.

**Emmett (POV)**

_Baby sister, where are you?_

I have called all her friends, the people she worked with, but none of them have seen her or heard from her. Not knowing where she was drove me fucking crazy. Who knows where she is! She could be hurt and bleeding right now or being taken advantage of. I was her brother; I have to protect her from shit like that.

I've been to all her favorite hang outs, and places that she goes to, but she wasn't there and everyone said they hadn't seen her. All of us – Jasper, Alice, Edward, Poncho, and I – have to do pretty much everything since the cops say Bella has a right to not contact us since she is an adult. They started taking things more seriously when we showed them the note she left, but we still have no leads.

I didn't know where else to go, who else to call, except for one. I grabbed my phone, opened it up, and dialed the number.

After a couple of rings, she answered, "Hello, Emmett!"

"Hello Renee," I said gruffly.

Renee huffed on the other line. "What is this Renee business? Its mom, call me mom."

I shook my head and said, "Renee, do you know where Bella is?"

The phone went silent for several minutes. "What did she do now? She is always causing trouble and unnecessary worry. Save yourself the trouble Emmett, and stop caring – let her be. Let her screw up her life; don't let her drag you down with her."

Her words caused a surge of anger to go through me. "She is your daughter Renee! You used to love her, what happened to that? Bella was right; you really are a cold hearted bitch. I can't believe I was so blind. There is one last thing I want to say to you. I want you to know that Charlie would be so disgusted with you." I heard her sob before I hanged up.

I took a shaky breath, unclenching my fist, as I tried to relax myself. I wouldn't dwell on Renee anymore, she wasn't worth my time or thoughts.

I walked back into the living room, where everyone was sitting. "Okay everyone, huddle up. We need to fill each other in on what we found." They all nodded as we sat in a circle on the floor.

Edward was the first one to talk. "Well, Bella hasn't used any of her credit cards, meaning we can't track her down that way. I went to the airport and showed all the people who worked there her picture, but none of them recognized her." Edward was getting fucking desperate. I don't think that boy has even slept since Bella has been gone. That shit can't be healthy.

Jasper went next. "I went looking through her room, hoping to find something that would lead me to where she was, but I found nothing. I do know that's she hasn't made any calls or sent any texts."

"How?" Poncho asked, his eyebrows furrowing. Poncho came to help as soon as he found out Bella was gone. He was so worried about her; you could see it in the worry lines on his face. I got to admit that being around Poncho made me sad yet grateful at the same time. He was the father that both Bella and I had missed out on, but that just reminded me that my real dad was dead.

"I found her phone under her pillow," Jasper answered. We all nodded grimly and looked at Alice.

Alice sighed, her eyes brimming with tears. Jasper, offering support, grab her hand and held it tightly. Edward looked away, not being able to handle their affection. "I wasn't able to find anything of use, but I have this weird feeling. I don't want anyone to get pissed or depressed but I don't feel right about this. I know that Bella isn't…safe? I don't know, I just know that she is cold and crying." I never really believed in Alice's so called feelings but her words reminded me of something.

"Wait guys! Let me check something," I told them all as I ran to the pile of papers on the desk. I was looking for all the psychic statements that Alice wrote down. I ignored the one about Mcdonalds, and the ones involving hot places. Then I found the one I was looking for.

_I fear your friend Bella is in a very troubled state of mind, but she will soon find her peace – her clarity. The workings of her mind will soon discover what they had been trying to reveal, showing your friend what she has most desperately been wanting. You must find your friend quick. She is somewhere cold and wet. The place where she resides is as quiet as death and offers only memories. Find her soon or you will be too late._

I reread the letter over and over again, ignoring everyone's questions. I looked at them and quickly ran up the stairs before they could say anything more. I heard the others follow me as I ran to Bella's room.

"What's going on?"

"Emmett, what are you doing?"

"_Que paso?"_

"Emmett, talk to us!"

I ignored them all. I ran to Bella's bathroom were the note still remained. None of us had wanted to wash it off. I read the note, trying to decipher and dissect what she wrote.

_There is a place I need to go, a person I need to see_

Who, Bella? Who did you need to see?

_There is only one person who can make it better – who can make me better_

Who was that person?

_Emmett, I know I have never said it to you, but I want you to know that I love you. _

I love you too, sis, that's why I need you back.

Somewhere cold and wet, there was someone who could help her; there was a place she needed to go…

"Guys," I whispered, but they all heard me. "I think I know where she is."

**Edwa-something (POV)**

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and I had just left the plane and had now gotten into the car that we rented. Poncho couldn't come because of his family but he told us to call him if we found Bella.

We were in Forks, Washington; Bella's childhood home.

"How do you know she is here Emmett?"

Emmett sighed behind the wheel. "It's just a feeling I have, you know? Like Alice, except I'm not a freak."

"Hey!" Alice whined, smacking him on the shoulder.

Emmett cracked a smile, and then he quickly went back to business. "When Alice said something about Bella being cold, I immediately remembered what that psychic lady said about Bella being in a wet and cold place. What's colder and wetter than Forks? I also really read Bella's note. Bella said she needed to see someone who could make her better. When we were little that person was always my dad. So I think that Bella is going to the one place she remembers him," Emmett explained.

Vegetation surrounded us as we drove down several small streets.

_Bella please be here, please be safe._

Emmett stopped the car in front of a simple two story house. The house was in serious need of a fix up. The white paint was peeling, the roof was falling apart, and it seemed to be in a desperate need of love and care.

"Home," Emmett whispered.

Alice looked out the window, grimacing when she saw the house. "Do you think she is in there?"

"There is only one way to find out," I said as I got out of the car. When I walked to the house, it started to drizzle. I quickly made it to the porch, letting it shield me from the rain that was now coming down harder. Jasper, Alice, and Emmett ran towards me and also took shelter from the rain. "Emmett, you should open it," I said, motioning towards the door. He nodded and slowly grabbed the door knob. He turned it only to have it not budge.

"It's locked," Emmett announced, his face falling into a defeated frown.

Alice quickly put in her two cents, "Maybe she broke in. Like through a window or something."

"Yea," Jasper agreed, trying to save the hope we were all losing. Emmett told us to search the bottom floor for any open windows. We all split up and tried opening all the windows. None of them would budge.

I heard Alice call, "Hey guys, I found one!" We all ran to her, and then we examined the window she was looking at.

The window was pretty far up, and was small compared to the others. The glass was also different from all the other windows. It was made so that you couldn't clearly see what was going on inside – it was the bathroom window.

"There is no way I can fit through that tiny thing," Emmett said. Jasper and I both nodded.

Alice rolled her eyes as she observed the window. She was able to slightly push it up, but not by much since she was so short. "Well, what are you guys waiting for? Lift me up!" Alice ordered. Emmett and Jasper immediately offered their hands and shoulders. Alice put her feet, one at a time, on their hands and used their shoulders to support herself. Once she was lifted in the air, she opened the window all the way – with some difficulty – and peered inside. "Ew, this place is sooooo dirty," Alice complained as she wiggled her way through the window. Once she was inside, we all ran to the front door, soaking wet.

Alice opened the door and let us in. The house was left with only a few pieces of furniture, making it look empty and abandoned. Everything was dusty, the house was cold, cobwebs filled every corner, and the wallpaper was faded. This place was pretty sad.

The house was quiet, too quiet, meaning Bella wasn't here. Emmett searched the house anyway, instructing us to stay where we were. We waited until Emmett came back, when he did, his face was gloomy. He told us what we already knew: she wasn't here.

"I could have sworn it had something to do with our father…"

"Hold up, wait a minute! The psychic lady said that she would be cold and wet. It's raining right now, so maybe she is outside?"

"The lady also said she would be in a place filled with memories so it has to be…the cemetery! Come on guys, get in the car," Emmett ordered. We ran to the car as Emmett drove us to the cemetery. With Emmett's speed, and small amount of cars driving, we made it there in no time. We were all unbuckling our seat belts when Emmett spoke, "Fuck, I forgot where dad's grave was so we are going to have to split up. Alice, grab the umbrella in the trunk, I don't want you to get sick." Alice nodded as we got out of the car. The rain was coming down fiercely; it felt like ice on my skin.

"We have two umbrellas!" Alice said, opening one up and putting it over her head. Jasper decided to share it with Alice, since they were looking together, and I handed the other umbrella over to Emmett since I didn't want it. Holding an umbrella would only slow me down.

I bolted through the cemetery, searching for Bella, while trying not to slip on the wet grass. My breath was coming in pants; my heart began to race, as I read every tombstone and looked for any sign of Bella's presence. I cried in frustration when I couldn't find her, but then I saw it. I saw a black lump in the distance. Urging my legs to go faster, I ran to the black spot, while praying it was her.

I made it, and there on the ground, in fetal position, was Bella. "EMMETT, JASPER, ALICE!" I called. She was soaked in ice cold water, her skin deathly pale, and her lips were blue. "Bella, please speak to me," I begged. Bella was shaking violently, her teeth chattering loudly.

I heard the sounds of feet hitting the wet ground before I heard their voices.

"Oh my God!" Alice screamed as she observed Bella's body. They were all here now, watching.

"Emmett call 9-1-1 right now, Bella has hypothermia," I told them, my voice quivering from the cold and panic. Emmett nodded, stunned, and took out his phone. Alice and Emmett both kneeled down next to me, and blocked the rain with their umbrellas so it wouldn't hit Bella anymore.

"Shouldn't you do CPR or something?" Alice suggested.

"No, she still has a heartbeat; it would do more harm than good. If I were to do that, her body would go into shock. We can't mover her too suddenly, because her body can't handle it right now. Jasper help me gently uncurl her, she needs to be flat on her back." Jasper nodded and helped me. Slowly and carefully we straightened her out of fetal position.

"They're on their way, they shouldn't be too long, this is a small town," Emmett told us, never taking his eyes off his sister.

"You guys, touch any part of her skin that you can with your hands. We may be cold but we're warmer than her." The nodded as they blew warm air in their hands before touching Bella.

Soon enough we heard sirens, alerting us that the ambulance was here. Once they got to us, they immediately told us to back off and to let them handle it. Emmett and I stood under the umbrella as they examined Bella and gently put her in the gurney. Alice sobbed into Jasper's arms, refusing to look at the scene in front of her.

"Will one of you want to be with her in the ambulance?" A young blonde haired man asked. Emmett looked at me with pleading eyes, begging me to let him go, so I nodded. Emmett ran to the ambulance and climbed inside. The doors closed before they drove away.

I was stunned, I couldn't move.

Everything had seemed to have happened so fast, my mind couldn't keep up. Bella was so cold, she looked lifeless. The thought alone petrified me.

"Edward," Jasper whispered as he gently put his hand on my shoulder. He didn't say anything more; he just gently pushed me towards the car. Jasper drove, Alice sat in the front seat as I sat in the back.

So many things filled my mind as I just sat there. How long had Bella been there? What went through her mind as she rested on top of her father's grave? When I saw her, I wasn't seeing the Bella she was now, no, I saw a little girl looking for her daddy. I wonder if she felt his presence on that soggy grave.

Jasper drove through the rain carefully as he looked through the rearview mirror every so often to look at me. I wondered if I looked as bad as I felt. We made it to the hospital in what seemed like seconds, but that still wasn't fast enough. Ignoring the fact that I was dripping wet, I marched into the unfamiliar hospital.

I was headed to find a nurse when I spotted Emmett pacing around. I walked up to him, my expression going wary when I noticed the distress on his face. He stopped pacing when he saw me.

"Where is she Emmett? Is she okay, can we see her?" Emmett looked behind me to see Jasper and Alice running towards us.

When they were in ear shot he told us what he knew. "We can't see Bella right now." I was going to object but Emmett held up his hand, silently telling me to shut it. "Her condition is pretty bad, but they're taking care of her. They told me that she will definitely survive, so that's good."

We all nodded our heads. We weren't happy with the news, but at least we knew she would live. I wanted to see her now. I wanted to see with my own eyes that she was okay, and that she wanted me. Now that I knew she was fine I worried about how she would react to me. Did she completely loathe me? I needed Bella in my life, but that wouldn't happen if she didn't feel the same. Things were either going to get better from here or worse – much worse. I don't think I could live with the latter.

We were all just standing around, lost in our thoughts, when Emmett spoke up. "Look guys, we're not going to see her today. There is no fucking sense in waiting here so let's just go and rest up a bit okay."

Alice looked at us all before saying, "But where? I'm sorry Emmett, but I can't stay at your dad's house; it's too sad and creepy." Jasper and I nodded in agreement. Charlie's place was so depressing and cold. Almost like the house mourned Charlie's death.

Emmett rubbed the back of his head and sighed. "Yea, I figured you guys would think that. Truthfully, I wasn't too happy about the thought either. Well, that just means we have to stay in a hotel."

"They have one of those here? In such a small town?" Jasper asked, his eyes widening slightly.

"Who would want to come here?" Alice wondered.

"Okay, enough trash talk about my town. This may not be the liveliest place, but it's homey. This is a good place to raise a family," Emmett told us with a sad smile. "You guys are right though. Forks doesn't have any hotels or shit like that, which means we have to go to Port Angeles. Fuck, I don't want to be so far from Bella. What if something happens?" We all offered soothing words, but nothing would wipe the frown from his face.

I put my hand on Emmett's shoulder, trying to offer as much comfort as I could, even though I didn't feel so great myself. I couldn't even imagine what Emmett was going through right now.

After a moment of silence we left the hospital. In the car, I gave the hospital a parting glance. My heart felt tighter and tighter the father we drove from it. I hated leaving knowing that Bella was inside the hospital, but staying there wouldn't do any of us any good. But when I would be able to see her, I wouldn't leave her side.

After Emmett drove, at an incredible and dangerous speed, we made it to Port Angeles. We found a nice hotel, that was surprisingly open since it was so late, and got our rooms. Alice and Jasper shared a room, while Emmett and I got separate rooms for ourselves.

My room was so quiet, so lonely. I got out my clothes, leaving myself in only my boxers, and slipped into the cold bed. I tried to keep my mind blank, but everything that happened today continued to run through my mind. After what seemed like hours, I fell into a troubled sleep.

8~*~8

I woke up to the sounds of someone pounding on my door. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was two o'clock in the afternoon! I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the door. My feet caught onto my clothes, causing me to fall. Although no one was around, my cheeks turned red as I felt embarrassment fill me. Still blushing, I answered the door.

There, in his purple pajamas, stood Emmett. "Fuck man! We seriously over slept; I wanted to be at the hospital at noon!"

My brain didn't fully take in his words; for I was too busy looking at his purple pajamas that had pictures of big-eyed cartoon sheep with big happy smiles. Emmett noticed what I was looking at and grimaced.

"Yea, ha-ha, I know my pj's are hilarious. Now come on Edward, get dressed!" Emmett ordered before running to what I assumed was his room. Feeling angry for wasting time, I quickly closed the door and got dressed. Once I was ready, I left my room and waited in the hallway for the others to finish getting ready. Today I was going to see Bella. I had to see her otherwise I would explode.

"Did you get the same wakeup call that we did?" Alice asked interrupting my thoughts. Alice wore a simple light blue sweater, navy blue jeans, and tan Ugg boots. I just wore a green T-shirt with black jeans and black nikes.

"I don't know. Was your wakeup call an angry Emmett who wore girly pajamas?"

Alice laughed her twinkling laugh. "Yup, that was the one! I wonder who got him those."

"My sister got them for me," Emmett announced, walking to where we were standing. He wore a striped blue and white shirt, grey pants, and blue and white sneakers.

"I so see Bella doing that, "Jasper said as he grinned. Jasper had on a brown button-up shirt, black pants, and leather shoes.

Emmett smiled as he told us the story behind his sleep wear. "Bella gave them to me for Christmas, like two years ago."

**Emmett (POV) Flashback ~**

_I got the best fucking presents! Hells yea man! Should I play with them now or sleep? Hmmm… I decided to sleep since I need my beauty sleep. Ha! I'm hot no matter what but I'm tired._

_I was all nice and comfortable in my bed when someone knocked on my door. Even though I really didn't want to, I got up and answered the door. In the doorway stood my sister Bella who was smirking while holding something behind her back._

"_Is that for me?" I asked, excited of the possibility of another present._

_Bella rolled her eyes. "Jesus, asshole, at least say hello. Yes this is for you," She told me, revealing a nicely wrapped present._

"_Man, I am one lucky sonofabitch this year!" I said as I ripped my present open. When all the pretty wrapping paper was off, I tore of the tape and opened the white box. With my eyebrows furrowed, I took out the purple pajama pants. I looked in the box again, but there wasn't anything else._

"_Cute, huh?" Bella said with a smile on her face._

"_There is no way in hell I am wearing this shit!" I exclaimed. Wearing this would make me lose like ten man points!_

_Bella's smile dropped, her face turning into an emotion I couldn't register, but she quickly concealed it with a small smile. The emotions were still in her eyes though, I could see it, but I couldn't define it._

"_Oh, okay, well I'll just go." Bella walked off quickly, leaving her ugly ass gift behind. I walked back into my room and threw Bella's gift at the wall. I went back to my bed, forgetting and not caring about the emotion on my sisters face when I told her I wouldn't wear her gift._

**End of Emmett's (POV) and end of flashback**

"The night she disappeared, I went to sleep real late, but I had dreams about her. One of my dreams was on that night she gave me those pajamas. I fucking wrecked my closet and drawers looking for them, but I found them. It took me awhile but I finally realized the expression on her face that night. It was sadness. She was sad because I told her that I wouldn't wear her gift and that it was shit. I can't believe I never realized what I jackass I was to her."

"It's okay Emmett, you will make it up to her," Alice soothed. Emmett nodded, and then asked us if we were ready. We all said yes, and then we were off to the car. We got breakfast first, and then we went to the hospital. The closer we got to the hospital, the more nervous and fidgety we got. None of us knew how Bella would take our presence, we weren't exactly sure if she would welcome us with open arms. She might just tell us, in true Bella fashion, to "fuck off." I didn't think I could handle her pushing me away – even though I deserved it.

Emmett parked the car, and got out, leaving us in the car. Without speaking, we followed after Emmett, and entered the hospital. Emmett was the first to talk to a nurse to ask about Bella's condition. After the nurse dug around for information, we were told that Bella was awake and that she would be fine, but she will have to stay for two more nights since she was so weak. Alice asked if we could see her, and they said yes, but only one at a time. We nodded, walking towards Bella's room, as we all hoped for the best.

"Jasper, what if she gets super pissed that we are here?" Alice asked Jasper as she nervously played with her fingers.

Jasper thought for a second, his eyebrow furrowing, and his lips puckering. "Well, if she asks us to leave then we will have to listen and go."

"What!" Alice screamed, causing several patients and nurses to look at us.

Jasper sighed as he put his hands in his pockets. "Like the nurse said, Bella is very weak right now, meaning that we can't cause any unnecessary stress. Once she regains her strength, then we can barge into her life, whether she likes it or not." Jasper smiled, but Alice didn't find his words comforting.

"I don't know Jazz. Fuck, as soon as she sees us she's going to scream. Hell, I bet she will tell the doctors that we attacked her, then we will get arrested, then we will go to jail, and then I will become someone's bitch – "

"Shut up Alice," Emmett ordered, coming to a halt in front of us. Alice glared at him, but he spoke up before she could yell at him. "Just please be quiet," Emmett pleaded. "You're not helping and I'm worried enough as it is." Alice's face softened, and then she nodded. We continued to walk to Bella's room, with only silence to fill the air. When we made it to Bella's room, we all stopped, not knowing what to do next.

"The nurse said one at a time, so who is up first?" Jasper asked.

"I'll go last," I told them as I shifted toward the wall. They all looked at me quizzically. "I just have a lot to get off my chest, and I don't want to think about you guys waiting out here to talk to her," I explained.

Emmett let out a huff, looked at the door, and then turned back to us. "I'll go first. I have a lot to get off my chest too, but I need to go now otherwise I might not have the guts to do it later." We all agreed; letting Emmett go first. Squaring his shoulders, taking a deep breath, he went in. After several minutes of no screaming, we took it that Bella wasn't going to throw him out.

"I guess were in the clear," Alice announced happily.

"Well Emmett is," I said, ruining Alice's hope.

Alice looked at the closed door, her eyes watering slightly. "She's going to talk to me – she has to."

Thirty minutes later, Emmett came out.

His eyes and nose were red from crying, but his face was filled with relief and hope. Emmett told us that she was happy to see him, and that they had a nice talk, but he wouldn't provide any further information.

Alice went next.

Twenty minutes later, Alice came out. She was shining with happiness, her eyes bright, and she walked with a bounce in her step. "She cracked up when I told her I hit Rose," Alice said happily.

Jasper went next.

Fifteen minutes later, Jasper came out. "I got my best friend back," Jasper declared, smiling in full force.

Now it was my turn.

Taking a shaky breath, I walked to the door, opened it, and walked inside. Without looking inside the room, I closed the door, and slowly turned around.

"So you are here," Bella said softly, looking at me with tired eyes. Her skin was paler, she looked so tired and weak, but her eyes were completely different. Her eyes were filled with nothing but happiness, serenity, and an emotion I have never seen before. Either way she was completely and utterly beautiful.

"O-of course I a-am, w-why wouldn't I b-be?" I wanted to hit myself when I stuttered but my emotions were so out of control that I couldn't handle speaking correctly.

Bella frowned. "I thought we were done with the whole stuttering thing. Hey, come closer. I won't bite…well I might," she chuckled. It was good to hear her laugh again. I sat on the chair that was beside her bed and looked at her. She was wearing one of those hospital gowns and her hair was falling in waves down her chest. She was sitting up in bed, the blankets at her waist, with several tubes and other machinery connected to her arms. I hated this. She shouldn't be here; she shouldn't be in a hospital. Bella should be in her bed at home, safely wrapped in my arms.

"Did you just come here to stare at me? I know I'm beautiful, but come on!" Bella joked, causing us both to laugh.

"N-no, I didn't come here to stare, and yes you are very beautiful. Bella I am so sorry!" She tried to interrupt but I wouldn't let her; I had to apologize. "I shouldn't have left like that; I should have talked to you instead of just running for the hills. It was so unfair of me, and I would completely understand if you never wanted to talk to me again, but know that I still love you. I know I messed up, but could you find it in you, your heart, to forgive me?"

Bella grabbed my hand, and I nearly cried at the sensation that I received from touching her. I thought I would never touch her again. "Yes, you did fuck things up, but I'm to blame, too. Although you should have asked me about it before you ran off, I also should have told you from the get-go.

"Let me tell you a story about a young girl in her first year of college. This girl was hot – I'm talking smokin'. A lot of guys were after her, and she loved the attention, but there was this one guy who didn't give her any notice. It bothered her. So, out of all the willing guys, she went after the one that wanted nothing to do with her. She flirted, wore revealing clothes, and groped him on several occasions. But nothing worked; he never returned her affection in anyway. This you see is because the girl failed to notice the ring on his finger – he was married. But like I said, the girl was unaware of this because she wasn't exactly focusing on his fingers if you know what I mean. After months and months of trying to get him to have sex with her, she succeeded.

"Then, sex became routine for them, leaving the girl filled with pride. One day, they were at the mall kissing, when a woman grabbed the girl by her hair and threw her on the ground. The woman started yelling at the girl, asking her how she could do this. The girl was confused. It was then she found out that the man she had been having sex with was married. Afterwards the girl apologized to the woman, slapped the man, and left the mall. The girl was me. I honestly didn't know he was married. At first it was just because I never noticed his ring, but then once we started having sex, he stopped wearing it around me."

I was officially an idiot. All this time was wasted and this whole situation could have been avoided. I had been so stupid thinking that Bella would have sex with a man while knowing he was married. Bella may have been promiscuous but she wasn't evil.

"I should have known," I whispered, looking away, for I was too ashamed.

Bella held my hand tighter as she forced me to look at her. "You couldn't have. You know that I don't have the cleanest record, so it was expected that you would jump to those conclusions. Just know that I forgive you and I forgive myself. These past few days have let me think about things and I realized that what happened with that man wasn't my fault. I didn't know he was married but he did. He went home to his wife everyday giving her a new lie about where he was and what he was doing. I no longer feel guilty about it, but I still wish that I would have cut off his balls or something! I just slapped him! He got off way too easy," Bella stated with a smile on her plump lips.

"You scared me so much Bella," I told her as I grabbed her hand more firmly – just making sure she was real.

"I know, but it was necessary. Even in death my dad is helping me," she whispered, her eyes watering slightly. "He talked to me you know," she said, her tears falling freely down her pale cheeks.

"What did he say?" I asked cautiously.

"He told me that him dying wasn't my fault and that I shouldn't feel guilty about it. He said that he was so disappointed in Renee, and that when she is being a bitch I only need to remember that he loves me. I'm still working on feeling guilty about his death, but I'm getting there. My daddy still loves me, he isn't disappointed in me!" She smiled though her tears as she gleamed.

"Of course he loves you Bella; you should have never doubted that." She nodded and then she smiled a brilliant smile that nearly took my breath away.

"He also helped me figure something else out. Do you want to know what it is?" Bella asked with a mischievous smirk.

"What is it?" I asked, smiling a genuine smile.

_I haven't smiled in so long_

"I love you, Edward."

**Not only did she say I love you but she remembered his name! It was about fucking time, huh?**

**Okay here is an idea I am toying with. Would you guys want an outtake of what Bella was doing while everyone was looking for her? It would include her "talk" with Charlie!**


	25. In the closet

**Your reviews always blow me away. Thank you so much to everyone who reads and reviews!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight**

**Only one person asked about it, but I am still going to write Bella's experience when she was gone. So I'll tell you when it's finished.**

**Edward (POV)**

"I love you, Edward."

My heart raced, the air filling my lungs in gasps, as I took in her words. I had waited so long to hear those words. I had waited so long for her to feel that way about me. Even in my dreams, those words didn't sound nearly as beautiful as they did in real in life. She had said it once, but I was already addicted; I wanted her to say it over and over again.

"You do?" I whispered, wanting to make sure that she loved me. This was Bella after all. It was hard for her to love, so what made it possible that she could love someone like me?

Bella simply nodded, smiling a beautiful smile.

But of course, my feelings got in the way.

"Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive? I mean it's a big thing and what if – "

"Edward!" I stopped talking. Bella tried holding in her laughter by biting her lip, but it didn't help. Soon enough, her magical laughter filled the room, but I didn't mind; I lived to make Bella happy. After her laughter died down, she grabbed my hand with both of hers, and kissed my knuckles. "You know, I thought that the first time I said I love you would lead to a passionate kiss and then a horse into the sun or some shit like that."

I chuckled. "I think you mean riding into the sunset."

Bella's eyed me quizzically. "Why the fuck would anyone want that? I mean, riding into the sunset – seriously? Do you have any idea how much that would hurt your eyes? It would burn like hell! I also hate horses. They smell funny, they leave a trail of poop, and they make weird noises. How the fuck is that romantic?" Bella wondered.

A laugh escaped me as I heard her rant about what really was romantic. It felt so good to laugh; it felt so good to have Bella make me laugh. Although so much had happened, Bella acted as if nothing had changed, as if she had never disappeared.

"Bella," I said softly. Bella stopped talking to look at me. I squeezed her hand, loving the feel of her soft skin, as I stared into her chocolate eyes.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "Bella why did you just leave like that? We were all so worried. I thought the worst and everyday was just hell."

Her eyes turned sad, her lips turning into a hard line, and her grip on my hand loosened. She let go of my hand completely so she could run her fingers through her hair. Bella's hands dropped in front of her and into her lap as her shoulders slumped. Bella's lips moved, but I couldn't hear anything that she said. I asked her to repeat it but louder, causing her to sigh in frustration.

"I thought the note explained it all," she told me.

"Not really; it was very vague. There were so many possibilities on where you could have gone and what you were doing. The note you left… it seemed like you were going to try and kill yourself," I whispered.

Bella sighed, before saying, "I can't lie and say the thought didn't cross my mind, but only because I felt so disgusted with myself. It was like every negative feeling I had ever had – all the ones I have been pushing back – came up and swallowed me whole. Does that make sense?"

I nodded.

"Then I tried to remember a time when I was truly happy. My father came to mind; well actually a certain memory came to mind. Then I laughed, then I cried, and then…nothing. It was like I was on autopilot. Before I knew it, I was at Forks; looking for my dad. That's about it," Bella said, smiling softly. I could tell there was more, but apparently she didn't want to share. I was okay with that, whatever happened showed her that she loved me and that she had nothing to feel sorry for, and that was all that mattered.

"I'm glad I found you Bella. I love you," I said, meaning ever word.

Bella smiled. "I love you, too."

I leaned closer to her, our faces inches apart. "I think it's time for that passionate kiss."

"As long as there are no horses, I'm fine with that." Our lips locked then, are tongues immediately coming out to intertwine. I savored her taste, for it had been so long since we had kissed. I moaned into her mouth as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Whoa, dude, you guys waste no time do you?" Emmett boomed as he walked in, Alice and Jasper right behind him. I made a move to detach my lips from Bella's but she kept me firmly in place and continued to kiss me. I lost myself in our kiss, forgetting all about the intruders. She gave me a tender kiss before she released me. I sat back down and focused on our now intertwined hands as Emmett, Alice, and Jasper giggled quietly.

"Thank you Emmett for interrupting our lip reunion. Why did you barge in anyway?" Bella asked, slightly annoyed.

"Well it has been awhile since Edward went in here so we thought you killed him. We came here to clean up the blood and put his body in our rental," Emmett explained.

"Wait, you guys wouldn't care that I was killed?" I asked.

"Well, I would be sad the first couple of hours," Alice said, hoping to make me feel better.

I grimaced. "Thanks, sis."

Alice smiled, her pearly whites showing. "Anytime," she told me.

"No need to dwell on it; you're alive!" Jasper exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "And so are you," he said, looking at Bella.

Bella scoffed. "Please, you guys are stuck with me."

I touched Bella's chin, tilting her head in my direction, and held her gaze. "Not stuck – blessed." She responded by kissing me again. This kiss was different than what we shared earlier. This one was entirely filled with love.

It was the best kiss of my life.

8~*~8

A day later Bella was released. She had to stay because she was so weak; apparently Bella didn't eat anything while she was gone. We all got angry when we found out that Bella practically starved herself, but she merely shrugged when we asked her about it.

"I don't see what's the big deal about it," Bella said when we questioned her.

Emmett grew angry at her nonchalance. "It is a huge fucking deal Bella! What if we didn't find you? You would be dead right now!" I flinched at his words, but Bella's face just grew red in fury.

"But you did find me and I am alive so just fucking forget about it!" Bella shouted.

"Guys, Bella is alive and she is coming home with us. We all have talked with her and we know why she left and we know that she is better now. Can't we just let this go and go home?" Alice asked, her eyes pleading for us to drop this.

Emmett let out a gust of air as he looked at Bella with hesitant eyes. It was obvious that he wanted to scold her more, but he held himself back. "Yea, let's go sis." Bella smiled, thankful that we would no longer talk about it anymore.

Now we were all on the plane going home. My heart and mind felt at peace knowing that Bella was finally coming home, to the place where she belonged. We all weren't able to get seats close to each other but luckily Bella and I were able to sit together. My arm was around her shoulder, her head on my chest, my head on top of hers, as a blanket kept us warm. I was in heaven.

"Edward?" Bella whispered sleepily.

"Yes, love?"

"I love you."

I smiled. "I love you, too."

We fell asleep after we whispered our love for each other, fully content in each other's arms.

8~*~8

"We are home!" Emmett hollered as we laughed. Emmett and Jasper carried all of our belongings into the house as Alice ordered pizza. Bella looked at her house with a sad expression, her eyes looking as if they were savoring each detail. I wrapped my arm around her waist firmly, trying to offer her support. She offered me a beautiful smile, walked out of my embrace, and into the house. I stared after her in confusion and hurt, but I decided not to say anything. I helped Emmett and Jasper carry our stuff into the house and into the right rooms, even though they did most of it already.

Silently, I watched Bella walk around the house, touching the walls, furniture, and any object that she could get her hands on. The way she seemed to be memorizing her house, smiling sadly at everything, while her eyebrows furrowed in thought, unnerved me.

Having enough, I walked up to her, wrapped my arms around her, and looked into her hazel nut eyes. "What's wrong, love? Talk to me," I pleaded, hoping that she would reveal the workings of her mind. She sighed, wrapped her arms around my neck, and leaned into my embrace.

"Fuck, I have so much on my mind, you know? Let's just say I'm considering something, but I don't want to tell you because I'm not sure if I really want it. It's not a secret really, it's just an idea that I'm not sure I want to come to life," she whispered. I nodded in understanding, my hands rubbing soothing circles on her back as she tried to explain her thoughts without revealing too much. I tried my best to not to worry, but it was hard when her words were so cryptic. I went through several scenarios, trying to figure out which one would make the most sense, but none of them matched with what Bella said or with what she was capable of doing. Fear ate away at me, leaving me scared and raw. I only wish I knew if this idea of hers was a good one or bad, and how would it affect us.

Emmett interrupted our moment, saying that the pizza was here and to get our asses in gear. Bella chuckled as she followed Emmett into the living room. Alice had ordered three boxes of pizza, which I thought were too many, but surprisingly enough we ate them all. Not one piece was left.

Bella almost ate an entire box by herself. She rubbed her stomach, and leaned back into the couch. "Thank you Alice for turning me into a fat ass, "Bella said as she grinned.

Alice scoffed. "Please, you don't need my help you hippo." We all laughed, watching as Bella playfully glared at Alice.

"Watch yourself tinker bell. I might get my hippo ass and sit on you. We'll see who is laughing then."

Alice's eyes widened, her hands on the sides of her face, as she gasped. "Oh no! Not your ass, Bella. Anything but your ass!"

Bella laughed as she launched herself at Alice, causing them to tumble to the floor. They wrestled each other playfully, giggling the entire time.

"Man, we need a mud pit," Jasper commented, making Emmett and I laugh. After Alice and Bella got tired they just rested on their backs on the floor, laughing. But then something changed. Their laughter slowly died down until their laughs turned into sobs. We watched with sad eyes as Bella and Alice cried on the floor, all traces of happiness gone.

Alice turned her head to look directly into Bella's eyes. "How could you Bella? How could you leave us – leave me?"

"I'm so sorry, Alice, "Bella said through her sobs. Emmett, Jasper, and I watched with teary eyes as our girls let out their pain.

Alice let out a ragged breath as she tried, but failed, to control her anguish. "You have no idea how much I hurt, Bella. You're like the fucking glue, you keep us together." Even though Alice was weak from her emotional turmoil, she found the strength to slap Bella. The smack echoed throughout the room. "Don't you ever do that to me again," Alice ordered. Bella nodded, her eyes slowly closing.

Soon, they were both asleep.

Jasper took Alice to her room, I took Bella to hers, and Emmett stayed behind to clean up the mess. I opened the door to her room, walked to her bed, and gently put her on top of her bed. As I removed her clothes, I couldn't help but blush as my eyes observed her beautiful body. Her skin looked so soft, so inviting. I removed her pants and shirt, leaving her in only her black, lacy bra and underwear. Before I could convince myself not to, I caressed the soft skin of her thigh, and then I ran my hand up and down her leg. My entire being felt like it was lit on fire, but I enjoyed the burn.

_You do realize that you're molesting her in her sleep_

With that thought, I quickly stop touching her, leaving me feeling guilty yet excited. I felt guilty for touching her while she was unconscious, but I felt excited because, well, I was painfully hard. I briefly wondered how it would feel when I entered Bella's heat for the first time, the second time, the third time…

I shook my head to clear myself of such thoughts and prepared for a cold shower. After my shower, and my release, I walked back into Bella's room, and rested next to Bella in her bed. Then I did what I have been dreaming about for days; I held Bella in my arms as she cuddled into my side. I let out a sigh of ecstasy, loving how Bella felt in my arms, where she belonged.

Unconsciously, Bella turned her body; her back to my chest, then she rubbed her butt against my length. I tried to stifle my moan when her actions immediately caused my cock to harden. Having her in my arms was heaven, but having a hard on without being able to do anything about it was hell.

8~*~8

I let out a loud moan, my body filled with pleasure as I felt warmth surround my cock. My sex dreams have never felt so real, so powerful. I was enjoying every minute of it. To my dismay, I opened my eyes, but the pleasure remained. Confused, I looked down to see the most erotic sight ever. Bella had my length in her mouth. She took as much of me in her mouth and rubbed what she couldn't with her right hand. She massaged the underside of my cock with her tongue as she let out several moans; sending vibrations of pleasure through my body.

"Oh fuck Bella. Love, don't stop p-please. Ugh!" I lifted my hips slightly causing me to go deeper into Bella's hot mouth. My hands clenched into fists at my sides as Bella sucked me harder. Her left hand ran up my thigh and to my balls where she started to massage them, bringing me close to the brink. I watched as Bella's head bobbed up and down; taking me in and out, deeper and deeper each time. Feeling my balls tighten, I knew that I was dangerously close. "B-Bella I'm s-so close!" But she only responded by sucking me harder, massaging my balls more firmly. Before I knew it, I was coming into Bella's mouth in spurts. She swallowed everything I had to give her. Afterwards, she took me out of her mouth and smirked at me.

"So how was it?" I smiled a lazy smile and pulled her to me.

"Words cannot describe, love." I felt a sense of bravery fill me when I said, "Now let me pleasure you."

Bella shook her head, but her eyes filled with want and need. Her eyes were like that for me. "You don't have to Edward."

"I want to," I said before kissing her. We both moaned as our tongues touched, my mouth devouring hers. In that moment, I realized just how much I missed her taste, her essence. Moving on to other things, I moved my lips to attack her neck. I placed open mouthed kisses on both sides of her neck as my hands went up and down her slender body. I licked her collar bones as I unclasped her bra – with some difficulty. Bella gasped when my hands explored her round breasts.

"You're so beautiful," I commented, my voice husky and deep with want. I let instinct take over as I did my best to pleasure her body, because the only thing I wanted was to bring Bella pleasure and happiness. My lips traveled closer to her breasts, as my hands went down to her silky thighs. I only hesitated a fraction of a second before my lips attached to her rosy nipple.

"Shit, Edward!" Bella moaned as my tongue circled her now hardened nipple. I flicked, sucked and bit as my hand played with her other one. After I felt that Bella's left breast was fully ravished I turned my attention to the next one. While Bella was distracted with what I was doing to her boob with my mouth, I slowly used my fingers to lower Bella's panties. When they were off, I brought my lips lower down. Gaining courage, I kissed Bella's inner thighs, before going to the Promised Land.

I spread her folds, but stopped when I fully took in the sight before me. Bella's pink pussy was so inviting, it was practically begging for my cock, and my cock was more than willing. She was so wet; wet for me, and the thought filled me with pride. I got these reactions from her, she was moaning because of what I was doing for her.

I placed a kiss on her clit, moaning as I finally tasted her. Needing more, I licked her slit, bathing my tongue in her sweet juices.

"Fuck, Edward, you're so good. Yes, please don't stop, I need more." Willing to give her anything she wanted, I used the tip of my tongue to circle her clit. I sucked it into my mouth as Bella writhed beneath me. Hesitantly, I slid in one of my fingers and held it there; worried that I was doing something wrong. "Oh, yes, just like that," she panted.

Bella moaned when I added another finger. I pumped her slowly as I continued to work her clit. Bella screamed my name as her fingers weaved their way through my hair; begging for more. She rocked her hips, her back arching as she moaned in pleasure.

"Oh! I'm gonna come!" I pumped my fingers faster, feeling Bella's pussy contract around my fingers. I practically growled against her clit when I thought about how amazing it was going to feel when it was my dick that her pussy was contracting around.

"Yes!" She screamed as she came. I slowly took out my fingers, detached my lips from her clit, and looked at her with nervous eyes. She lay there, panting, her body covered in a thin layer of sweat. I crawled back up to her and pulled her naked body into my hot embrace. "That was fucking incredible, Edward."

I smiled so big it hurt. "Really? You're not just saying that for my benefit?"

She shook her head against my chest. "I need better words to describe how hot that was."

I knew that I shouldn't have ruined the moment with my questions, but it was something that had always bugged me. "Bella, how many men have you slept with?"

Her body tensed, the room going quiet.

"Is it that bad?"

"Yea…"

I took a deep breath. "More than ten?" She nodded. "Twenty?" She nodded. "Thirty?" She shook her head no. "Okay," I whispered.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, her voice filled with remorse.

"You have a past, it's expected. You shouldn't feel ashamed for something you did before you met me. I can't lie and say that I don't like the thought of other men touching you in such an intimate way, but there isn't anything I can do about it. The only thing I can hope for is that I will be the last man to touch you like that."

"You're all I want now, all I need."

"I love you so much Bella," I spoke into her hair.

"Love you, too," she whispered before we fell into a deep sleep.

8~*~8

**Bella (POV)**

You have no fucking idea how much better I felt since Edward gave me an orgasm. I was in serious need of one, like fuck; I have never gone so long without one. Sure, I could tell that Edward had never done that before, but he was damn good for a beginner. I was so proud of him.

When we woke up, we took showers, and then went downstairs for breakfast. Emmett had tried to cook – emphasis on tried – but he failed miserably. Let's just say that everything was burned beyond recognition. So after we cleaned up the mess, we decided that nothing was safer than cereal. Alice and Jasper came down shortly after, and although they wanted more than cereal, they had to suck it the fuck up and eat what we had. We then played tic-tac-toe to see who would have to wash dishes, because no one would volunteer. After several rounds, Alice was dubbed the loser, and was sent to wash our mess.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" Jasper asked, grabbing my hand, with a happy look on his face. I nodded, letting him to take me to the closet.

The fucking closet.

"Really? Of all places to talk, you chose the closet?" I asked as we stood in the tiny space. Our bodies were touching and our faces were dangerously close.

"Oh Bella…" he smiled.

**Edward (POV)**

"I wonder what Jasper and Bella are doing," Emmett wondered as he mindlessly surfed through channels.

Worried, I asked, "Should we look for them?"

Emmett shook his head, and put down the remote. "Nah, I'm sure there just doing whatever best people do."

"Don't you mean best friends?"

Emmett shrugged; not caring. Even though I tried to fight it, I felt worried, not just for her safety but I was worried about what she was doing with Jasper. I felt nauseous thinking of the possibilities. Not even bothering to give Emmett an excuse, I stood up, went to the kitchen, and poked Alice on the shoulder as she washed dishes.

Alice turned around, smiling while saying, "Yes?"

"Do you know what Jasper and Bella are up to?" I asked hoping that she would know the reason why Jasper took Bella away.

"Nope, I didn't realize they were even doing anything. Why are you so worried?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Just curious," I replied.

Alice smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Just because Bella is out of you sight for a few minutes doesn't mean that she is going to disappear again, okay." I haven't even thought about it like that. A part of me, the paranoid part, still feared that Bella would leave. I didn't think I could handle again.

"I know Alice," I muttered. "I really am curious though," I told her honestly.

With a mischievous smile, Alice leaned close to me and whispered, "Well why don't we sneak around and find out!" I then told her that I couldn't find them; they disappeared. Alice hummed quietly, tapping her finger on her chin in thought. "Let's just go look around the house then. They must be somewhere in the house."

With that, we were off in search of our loved ones, searching every room and hall. We were going to turn a corner when Alice stopped mid-step. I was going to ask what was wrong when she shushed me. With her hand, Alice motioned me to look into the hallway with her, but to remain hidden. I did as I was told, and looked into the hallway where Bella and Jasper were coming out of the closet.

Jasper and Bella both had flushed faces, and the case of the giggles. They walked further into the hallway; stopped, stared at each other for several seconds, and then they hugged in a tight embrace. When they started to walk our way, Alice and I ran back into the kitchen, where no one could hear us.

"What was that?" Alice questioned, her hands finding their way into her short cropped hair.

"I don't know," was all I could say. My stomach felt like it was in knots, my heart clenched painfully. I knew that jumping to conclusions was never good – it was the main reason why Bella had left – but I couldn't help but look at Bella's and Jasper's interactions with new eyes. They were always close, but I never put much thought into it. I never saw it as something other than friendship. Could it be that there was more going on?

No, Bella loved me, she told me herself.

_I'm sure she loves Jasper too. She did know him before you._

But Bella and Jasper would never do that to Alice and me. Right?

I looked to Alice for help, for her to tell me that I was crazy for even thinking about something like this, but her expression and eyes told me she was thinking the same thing I was.

"Do you think…?" Alice whispered, but stopped midway, for she was not able to say the rest. It was a painful thought to say and hear.

"Hey guys," Bella's said, interrupting the tense moment. Her voice made us jump. I watched as Alice looked at Bella with narrowed eyes; looking for evidence. Not even a second later, Jasper joined Bella's side. He put his arm around her shoulder, smiling down at her with a look I couldn't describe. I forced down a growl that threatened to escape my lips – I didn't want him to touch her.

"Are you guys having a party without me?" Emmett asked, coming inside the kitchen.

Jasper chuckled. "It's not a party if you're not involved."

Emmett smiled, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and slowly walked out of the kitchen. "Damn straight," he said before leaving.

"Let's join Emmett in the living room," Bella suggested, slowly turning her body to leave. Jasper nodded and followed her.

Jasper's arm never left her shoulder that night.

**What are your theories on what Bella and Jasper did in the closet? And who else is happy that Edward finally went down on Bella? That shit was a long time coming if you ask me.**

**Hmmm... do you think Edward and Alice have the right to be suspicious? Or are they just paranoid peeps who are looking to much into things?**

**Reviews get Jasper's arm off Bella's shoulder**


	26. Need only me

**Hey lovelies! Okay, I gotta say that I'm really worried about this chapter, to the point where I seriously thought about rewriting it. Crazy, huh? So I'm just gonna do it, and post this thing cause I don't want too slow with my updates. Sorry - by the way - that I keep you amazing people waiting!**

**My Beta (who is MIA lol) - Team Edcob 4 life**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight, yada, yada,yada...**

**Bella (POV)**

"I hate that you're leaving," I whispered into Edward's chest. Yea, I know, I was being a whiny baby, but it was only because I didn't want him to go. Of course I knew he would have to go back to his house eventually, but I didn't think it would be so soon.

"I'll be back as soon as possible, love," he whispered, a small twinkle in his eyes.

With a sigh, I muttered, "Okay." With a parting passionate kiss, he was off, going to where he didn't belong. He should be with me, but I wasn't going to suffocate the man, besides I had things I needed to take care of. Things Edward couldn't be a part of.

8~*~8

**Edward (POV)**

I walked towards my boss's office, fully aware and sure of what I was about to do. The decision was made a long time ago, but now it was being put into action. I couldn't go on like that; going back and forth, here and there. It was time that I called one place home.

I knocked, waited until he gave me his permission to enter, and when he did, I went inside. Mr. Banner was well known for his kindness, but he was strict and expected only the best from his employees. I liked to believe that I made him proud with the fact that I always gave a hundred percent and never ever called in sick.

My excellent work ethic was due to my lack of social life.

When Mr. Banner's eyes fell on me, from behind a desk buried underneath paperwork, his lips curved into a smile. "Well, hello there, Edward. How are you doing my boy? Good, I hope."

I nodded, as I took hesitant steps to his desk.

Mr. Banner noticed my nervous expression, even though nervous expressions were nothing new from me, Mr. Banner had a way of knowing if something was especially wrong. "You've never been good with people Edward – I get that, but something tells me this is different. Is there something you would like to tell me?"

Doing my best not to stutter, I said, "Yes, sir. I want to give you my two weeks notice."

Mr. Banner sat back, stunned. This was obviously not what he was expecting. He composed himself by running his hands up and down his face, but I could tell he was still baffled. I could understand why, though. I had never given him any sign or expressed any thoughts about quitting my job. The only time I had asked for time off was when I wanted to visit Alice, and then when Bella disappeared – well, ran off. Leaving work for long periods of time wasn't something I ever did, meaning that I was here 24/7 which made me pretty pathetic. I wasn't a work-a-holic, no, I just didn't have anything else to do, but not anymore. I had a purpose; I had Bella.

"Wow, Edward, I honestly wasn't expecting this – especially since this is _you_ we're talking about. I can't stop you, but may I ask why you are doing this?"

I nodded, he deserved an explanation. "When I went to visit my sister, I met someone. Things happened, words were said, and well, we fell in love. She is everything to me; I can't stand being here when my heart is with her. I know that's not the best reason to quit, but I'm not happy here – I never was. And besides my sister is over there and so are all my friends. I'm not lonely when I'm over there."

Mr. Banner sighed with a thoughtful look on his face. He glanced at me, turned his head, and went through his desk in search of something. "If this makes you happy, boy, then I won't complain about this. Tell me, Edward. Is this girl worth it? I mean you're giving a lot up; your job, home, and the life you made for yourself here."

"With all due respect, sir, I never had much of a life here. Sure, I had an apartment, a few acquaintances, and this job, but that doesn't make someone happy. Visiting my sister showed me what I've been missing, and that is quite a lot. I have friends now, I'm closer to my sister more than ever, and I have the love of my life. That's all I need, all I want. And yes, she is worth it."

Mr. Banner smiled and pulled out a piece of paper. "That's the answer I was looking for. I'm truly happy for you. I'm going to miss you and your quiet ways, but knowing that you're happy wherever you are makes it all better. You are a good man, and you did a heck of a good job working here. If you ever need a recommendation you know who to call."

I smiled. "Thank you Mr. Banner, I'm going to miss you, too."

He looked at me with his brow furrowed, finally noticing what was different with me. "What happened to that stutter of yours boy?"

"That sir was taking care of."

He made a surprised face."Oh?"

"Yes, Bella helped me with it. She showed me that my words deserved to be heard clearly."

Mr. Banner smiled, and looked at me as if he has never seen me before. "I think I would like this girl."

"I know you would," I said quietly, as I walked towards the door. "May I leave know sir?"

"Of course you can, boy. Also, just because you're leaving in two weeks doesn't mean you can slack off now! I still have the same expectations, so don't disappoint me." His face was stern, but his eyes showed he was smiling on the inside.

"I wouldn't dream of it sir." With that, I left the room, and went to work. This was going to be a long two weeks. I only hoped that Bella wouldn't mind that I quit my job so that I could be closer to her.

8~*~8

**1 Month later**

I nervously made my way to Bella's home. She didn't know that I was visiting or that I had no intentions on leaving again. I knocked on the door and waited patiently for someone to open it. I looked at the driveway and noticed that only Emmett's jeep was there.

_Where is Bella?_

"Hey, what are you doing here, dude? It's not that I don't want you here or anything, but what brings you here to my – well Bella's – domain?" Emmett said as soon as he opened the door and saw me. "And what's with the luggage?" he asked when he saw that I had several suitcases behind me and a bag on my shoulder.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked, wondering if I should just tell him now.

He smiled a mischievous smile. "Nope, but I can try." I guess that was all I could ask for. He walked further outside to grab as many suitcases he could, which was all of them, and led me inside. He dropped them with little regard on the floor by the door and walked to the living room. Sighing, I joined him. We sat on the couch, in comfortable silence, as we watched television. Looking around, I noticed how things hadn't changed one bit, but was different was the silence. Someone was always yelling or there was some kind of racket going on in this house, but not today. Only the sounds of the television filled the house.

"Emmett?" I asked. His eyes didn't leave the TV, but he grunted to let me know he was listening to me. I had no idea what he was watching. Let's just say there was a lot of nudity.

"Where is everyone?"

Finally taking his eyes off the television screen, he looked at me; his eyes holding a hidden sadness. "Bella's gone; she went to do something about her upcoming book. I don't really know. It was something like that. Alice and Jasper haven't been here in forever. So yea, I've been pretty lonely here."

Sorrow filled me when I realized just how much Emmett depended on his family and friends now. It wasn't like he had Rosalie to go to anymore. I wondered how much he missed her, and how much it hurt him to choose family over the woman he loved. What Rosalie did was wrong, yes, but I briefly thought about how it must be like for her. There must be something that had tortured Rosalie in some way for her to behave like that – to make her treat Bella like that.

"You never answered my question. Why are you here?" Emmett asked again, still staring at the TV. His question wasn't meant to be taken as rude, he was asking merely out of curiousity.

I focused on my hands, as I tried to sort the words out in my head. "Well… I sort of…"

Emmett rolled his eyes at my lack of verbal use. "Doesn't your boss dude get mad that you come over here so much?"

"Well, you see –"

"And I understand that you're with my sister and all, but there is such a thing as phones." Emmett made a face at his words. "Why the fuck am I bitching? I'm sorry man; I'm just in a funk right now, so I guess I'm taking it out on you. Don't worry; I won't ask you anymore questions. Stay here as long as you like. I need the fucking company. I was going crazy here by myself."

"I quit my job Emmett," I screamed in a rush. Emmett looked at me wide eyed, his mouth agape. "I quit like a month ago, and I no longer live in my old apartment."

"Wow," he said, stunned. "Wow – just wow. I didn't realize that you and Bella were so serious! Bella has never ever let a guy move in with her."

"Um, Emmett, that's actually the problem."

He looked at me quizzically. "What problem?"

I let out a deep breath. "Bella doesn't know." He looked at me for a second, completely expressionless, and then he busted out laughing. I was not amused. "Emmett, this isn't funny." He was laughing so hard he was in tears.

"Damn straight this isn't funny. It's fucking hilarious! Oh my effing God. Where you just planning on putting all your stuff in her closet and having her find out that way? You are a funny man, Edward. A very funny – _dead_ – man. Bella is going to kill you when she finds out. You know that right?"

I sighed.

"Whoa, man. Promise me that you'll let me watch when she yells at you, fuck, that's going to be funny. I wonder if she will throw anything at you. Oh! Maybe she will throw your stuff out the window!" he said excitedly.

I gulped. "You don't think she'll really do that, do you?"

He shrugged, not even trying to comfort me. "Who knows? This is Bella we're talking about."

"I wasn't planning on just moving in without permission. Truthfully, I thought that it would be better if I asked Alice if I could live with her and Jasper, only until I find a place of course."

Emmett patted me on the back. "Yea, that's a much better, and safer, idea."

Minutes later I called Alice and asked her if she could come over. She agreed and said she would be here as soon as possible. Emmett ordered pizza – his only source of food, and his means of survival – and told me that if Alice didn't let me live with her, I was screwed.

That was comforting.

After the pizza came, Alice arrived and with her was beer, but no Jasper. When we got comfortable with pizza in one hand and beer in the other, I asked Alice where Jasper was.

"Oh, he's been gone for two weeks. Something about his job, I think." She shrugged, taking a small bite from her cheese pizza.

Emmett's head shot up when he heard this. "Hey! That's how long Bella's been gone. What a coincidence, huh?"

Alice and I shared worried glances at each other. Before long, Alice asked, "Did Bella happen to leave on Monday? At around eight thirty?"

Emmett thought for a moment, but then nodded. "I don't know the exact time, but she did leave on a Monday at night time."

Alice took a shaky breath. "Um, Edward can you come with me to… somewhere!" Alice grabbed my hand and yanked me off the couch and towards the stairs. She ran, dragging me behind her, towards the room she usually slept in when she and Jasper were over here. After we were inside the bedroom, Alice closed the door, leaned against it, and slid down until she was sitting down on the soft carpet.

"They can't possibly be together, can they?" Alice hid her head in her bent legs, but then she lifted her face to look at me with tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "I'm trying to trust them, but there making it so hard. All this time, I've given my best shot to forget about the whole closet thing. I mean seriously! The fucking closet, Edward! Who goes into a closet to just talk? When Jasper and I go into a closet we fuck! What were they doing Edward? Please tell me, please," she pleaded, her tears running down her face. I walked over to her, sat beside her, and put my arm around her shoulder, offering comfort. She leaned into my side as she cried.

"I don't know what to believe in either, Alice. But what if we accuse them of cheating and we're wrong? They would never forgive us, and I wouldn't forgive myself either," I admitted.

"But Edward, what if we are right? What if they really are cheating on us with each other, do we just let it slide because we are afraid we're wrong? Edward, they have both been gone for two weeks. If nothing was going on between them why didn't they just tell us they were going somewhere together. I would have understood."

I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Okay, maybe I wouldn't have, but it would have been better than finding out this way. They didn't tell us because it is wrong, because they are doing something they shouldn't be doing. That's the only logical explanation! Gosh, Edward, I never thought that this kind of thing would happen. I never thought I would think these things about Jasper and Bella, but I can't help it. This is so damn wrong on so many levels."

I held her tighter, hoping to offer her more comfort, but her tears continued. I wanted to tell her that Bella and Jasper could never do something like this to us. It just wasn't possible. Well, that was what I used to think, because now I was not so sure about what they were capable of. Just thinking these horrible thoughts about the woman I love and the man I thought of as a friend sickened me. I hated that I had doubts, but part of me hated them for making me have these doubts. Hate was such a strong word so I knew it was the wrong word to use, but serious dislike sounded weird.

If Bella and Jasper were doing what Alice and I thought, then the only question would be: How could they? Bella had finally told me she loved me, Jasper told Alice constantly that he loved her, so how could they betray us this way? I briefly wondered if this was my fault. Was Bella cheating on me, if she was, because we had never made love? I wasn't satisfying her needs so she looked elsewhere?

All that night I held Alice as she cried her fears and insecurities. Neither of us slept that night.

8~*~8

"Okay, so this will be your room," Alice told me, motioning to the nicely decorated room with light green walls. The room held only the necessities; a queen sized bed, a nightstand on both sides of the bed, lamps on the nightstands, a dresser, and a TV stand that held a nice big flat screen.

After that night of crying and pain, I asked Alice if I could stay with her since I pretty much had nowhere to go. She, of course, said yes and the next day Emmett helped us carry my stuff into her apartment. It was a very nice two-bedroom apartment complete with small kitchen, tiny dining area, two bathrooms, and a medium sized family area. Overall, it was a very nice place, that offered everything that a young couple needed, and now myself.

"Thank you, again, Alice." Alice rolled her eyes as she put her warm hand on my shoulder.

"Stop thanking me, Edward. Besides, I need someone around when Jasper is gone," she whispered, her voice becoming pained. Alice saw the worried glance I sent her, and quickly rearranged her features to a happy and excited face, even though it was obvious that it was fake. "Now let's put your stuff away!"

An hour later, all of my belongings were nicely stored away in their rightful places. I thanked Alice for her help, and again for letting me stay in her spare room, but Alice would have none of it, and simply walked away. I looked at my bed, noticed how comforting it looked, and jumped on it, laughing lightly as I bounced. I lay on my back, my body slumping in comfort as my mind began to race. Any bed, no matter where I was, lacked Bella's presence. She should be here with me, but she wasn't; she was somewhere else, with someone else. I really didn't care as long as it wasn't Jasper, but according to what we knew, he was with Bella. What were they doing? I didn't know, and I was afraid to find out.

"Edward?" Alice asked, peeking her head through the doorway. I lifted my head from the pillow and looked at her. "As you know, I can't cook, such a thing would be dangerous, so we need to go out and get us some food!" I laughed as she grabbed my hand and used all her strength to get me into a sitting position. We then left the apartment, drove to a nice sushi restaurant, ate, and then we returned home. Our night was filled with laughs, smiles, but laced beneath it all was hidden anxiety.

In the car, on our way to Alice's apartment, I asked, "When do you think they'll come back?"

Alice's hands on the steering wheel tightened, leaving her knuckles white. She shrugged, obviously not wanting to talk about it, but I needed to talk about it. I needed to compare theories, and observations. I wanted to figure out an alternative to this, to something other than an affair. But Alice didn't speak to me; not in the car, at her apartment, and not anymore that night.

8~*~8

Alice and I drove to Bella's house so that we could be with Emmett. Alice agreed that it must be a hard, lonely time for Emmett since Bella isn't here and he doesn't have Rosalie to go to. I was looking out the window, enjoying the scenery, when Alice roughly grabbed on to my hand. "Whoa, Alice, what's wrong?" Instead of answering, Alice just motioned her head towards the upcoming house. There, in the driveway, was Bella's car. I urged Alice to drive faster, and with reluctance, she obeyed. She parked the car in front of the house, but made no move to leave the car.

"I can't do this. What if he's here? That would confirm everything," she muttered frantically.

I put a comforting hand on her shoulder and said, "Don't you see that this is our chance to just ask them were they went? If they have a legitimate answer then that's it – we have to trust them. But if there explanation is less than believable than we will… we'll have to drill them on it until they tell us the truth." I sounded a lot stronger than I felt. If Jasper and Bella told us there reasoning, and it was a sorry excuse of an answer, then I would probably break down.

Alice nodded after some thought, then she left the car, leaving me inside. After a quick pep-talk, I left the car as well, and walked towards what might be my downfall. I entered the house, right behind Alice, and saw Bella, Jasper and Emmett laughing in the living room. Bella looked so beautiful in her dark blue V-neck tucked into dark jeans with a brown belt. The moment I saw her, I forgot all about asking her where she had been – I just wanted to kiss her. And that was what I did. Bella made a surprised squeak when my lips made contact with hers. The feel of her soft lips moving with mine was absolutely divine. We both moaned into each others mouths as the kiss intensified and grew more passionate. Without having to do anything, Bella opened her mouth and allowed my tongue entrance. Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing my body closer to hers until our bodies were touching. I wrapped my arms around Bella also because I needed to feel her in my arms to know that she really was here with me, that she was kissing _me_. Not anyone else.

We broke apart for much needed air, after such a long and intense make-out session. We looked into each others eyes, smiling wide goofy smiles, and in this moment, I truly believed that Bella would never cheat on me. "Hello, love," I greeted, speaking to her for the first time.

"Hey, Edward," she said, her eyes bright with happiness. It filled my heart with warmth to see the love she had for me in her deep chocolate eyes. "Come on, let's go upstairs. I want to continue what you just started." She smiled as she grabbed my hand and led me upstairs. Before I left the room I saw Emmett, who wasn't paying attention, and Jasper who looked at Alice nervously. I pushed the thoughts that threatened to enter my mind, and instead I focused on how great Bella's firm behind looked in her tight jeans as she walked up the stairs. We entered her room, where she started to kiss me again, but I had to put a stop to it, even though I really didn't want to, so I could ask her some questions.

"Where have you been?" I asked, breathless.

She shrugged. "Some work thing," she muttered before trying to kiss me again, but I moved away. "Hey," she complained after another failed attempt at trying to kiss me.

"Really, Bella, where were you?"

Bella looked at my chin, avoiding my gaze when she said, "I told you, it was some work thing."

Something in me snapped them. A sense of desperation filled me.

I grabbed onto her roughly and pulled her lips to mine. There was nothing soft about this kiss, nothing loving about it. It wasn't gentle, but hard and demanding. I knew Bella sensed something was wrong with the way her body tensed but she didn't put a stop to my aggressive advances. With my hands on her ass, I lifted her up, her legs wrapped around my waist as I carried her to the bed. I dropped her on the bed and I climbed on top of her, ignoring her eyes. Without much thought, I took of my shirt, exposing my upper body to her. Bella ran her hands up and down by chest and stomach, making me hiss every time her fingers came in contact with my nipples. I moved her hands away and roughly yanked on her belt, wanting it gone. After I undid her belt, I removed it and tugged on her shirt. She lifted her arms, allowing me to take off her shirt, and I did just that. I moaned when I saw that she was wearing a lacy hot pink bra. My hands immediately started to massage her breasts, eliciting throaty moans from my love. I began kissing her neck; licking and sucking every inch of skin. Eventually, my hands left her boobs and slowly descended towards her pants. I gulped, feeling fear and insecurity go through me, but I had to do this.

Bella must have noticed my worries.

"We don't have to do this," she whispered, as she massaged the skin on my stomach.

"No, I have to do this," I chanted over and over again. I kissed her again, touching her everywhere and anywhere. I felt tears of anger and sadness pool in my eyes, threatening to spill.

_If we make love, she won't need anyone else. Just me, only me._

"No we don't, Edward," Bella said, her hands stopping my wondering ones.

"Please Bella," I cried. "Let me make love to you, please," I begged. If we made love Bella wouldn't have the need to cheat on me – everything could go back to normal.

_Make love to me Bella, show me that you love me – that you only need me._

"No, Edward. Stop," she said strongly, but I ignored her and brought my lips back to hers, effectively silencing her.

_Oh God, she doesn't want me. I'm not enough._

"Let me make love to you so you won't need anyone else. Please Bella, let's do it for us," I pleaded.

_Please want me._

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

_Bella, why am I not enough? Am I not deserving of your body, your soul?_

"Bella, you were with Jasper weren't you? What were you doing with him? How could you Bella? You said you love me but you go and do that. Why am I not enough?"

_What can he give her that I can't?_

"Edward, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" I didn't answer because I was a coward. I felt worse when I saw that that my tears, the ones I was trying so hard to control, were falling from my eyes. No wonder Bella didn't want me, I was no man.

Bella quickly jumped out of the bed, in search of her shirt. When she found it, she put it on and walked out of the room. I went after her, once I put on my shirt, and ran down the stairs. I walked into the living room to find Alice and Jasper screaming at each other.

"TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE!" Alice shouted, tears running down her face. Jasper's face was hidden because he was looking at the floor, his hand covering his face. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett must have heard us come in because their eyes snapped to us.

"Thank God," Emmett muttered.

Alice looked at Bella with so much anger, so much animosity. Alice walked over to Bella, and did what none of us were expecting.

She punched her.

Bella didn't fall back, but her face roughly turned to the side. Bella knew how to take a hit.

"What the fuck was that for?" Bella asked incredulously.

"That was for sleeping with Jasper you whore!"

Bella's eyes widened in shock, but they quickly narrowed in anger. "How the fuck did you come to that conclusion?" asked Bella angrily. "Edward how could you think I would cheat on you?" Bella asked sadly, looking at me with confused eyes.

I fidgeted where I stood. "It's j-just that there w-was s-s-so many things. The c-cl-closet, and the fact that the b-b-bo-both of you w-were g-g-g-gone." I stuttered so much that my cheeks grew red in embarrassment.

Bella walked up to me, ignoring a fuming Alice. "Edward, you should know that I would never cheat on you, and especially with Jasper. I meant it when I said I love you. Fuck, I would rather die than hurt you like that. I am so damn mad that you would think these things about me and that you would think I was capable of this, but in a fucked up way I understand why you do. Since the day I met you, I knew you were insecure, meaning that I had to be extra careful with you. So I guess I failed. I need you to remember that I love you, you're it for me. I want, need, and love only you, Edward. Do you understand?"

I nodded, my love for her expanding. I was so stupid to think that Bella would do such a thing to me, to us. I felt awful. To say I love you was a big thing for Bella and I acted as if her words meant nothing, as if they had no meaning. I had been so foolish.

"I'm so sorry, love. I was just… the way… I don't know how I could think those things about you. I'm sorry I didn't trust you," I whispered, hugging Bella to me. She rested her cheek against my chest as she rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"I guess we need to work on the whole trust thing, huh?" I nodded, resting my chin on her head.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, idiot," she whispered, chuckling.

"So you guys weren't having an affair?" Alice said with a relieved smile on her face.

"No, we weren't," Jasper said darkly, his face red with anger. Alice stared at him wide-eyed, realizing that he wasn't going to take it as well as Bella did. "How the fuck could you think I would cheat on you, Alice! We have been together for so long, how could this have even been a possibility to you? Then you go and fly off the fucking handle and punch Bella! She is our best friend Alice! Where the hell is your head?"

Alice once again had tears running down her face, but they weren't tears of anger, but of sadness. "Jasper I –"

"Did you know I was thinking about proposing to you?" Jasper admitted, making Alice sob. "I was going to take Bella to help me pick out a ring and for help on how to pop the question, but I don't think I can do that know since you'll just think we're fucking."

"Jasper," Bella warned.

"No, Bella. Alice needs to understand that this is not okay. Edward and Bella need to work on trust and Edward's insecurities, but that's understandable since they have only been together for a short time, but us Alice? I thought we didn't need to work on that! The thought of me cheating on you should have never crossed your mind. Well, I'm glad that I see this all now."

Alice looked at him with worried and red eyes. "Jasper, what are you saying?"

Jasper sighed, his face grim. "I'm saying I need a break. I want to break up Alice… I need to think about things. Bella, can I stay here?"

Bella nodded against my chest, giving him permission. I watched with sad eyes as Alice broke apart when Jasper left the room to the stairs. Seconds later we heard a door slam. Bella moved out of my embrace and urged me to go to Alice. I walked to where Alice was standing, and gently put my hand on her shoulder. Alice dropped to the floor, her tiny frame shaking as her sobs overtook her.

She then looked at me through teary eyes. "What have I done?"

**Wasn't Alice way out of line? I mean you have to see where Jasper was coming from. Alice and Jasper have been together for years - it was explained in the first chapter - so she should have trusted him not to do anything.**

**I loved that you guys trusted Jasper and Bella not to betray Edward and Alice - it made me so happy. BUT REMEMBER Bella and Jasper haven't explained what they were doing and it wasn't the proposing thing! It was established that they weren't fucking so what were they doing instead? Hmmm...**

**PLEASE READ! - Is anyone interested in having me as a Beta? I'm pretty good with catching mistakes because I have the habit of rereading things. I'm good with grammer, catching spelling errors, and I'm damn good with commas lol. I'm on my computer 24/7 on my email so if you're interested send me your story and we will see how things go from there! If your worried that I'm won't be fast with editing, don't worry! I have no life, and will get your story back to you as soon as possible!**

**Reveiws get Jasper and Alice back together sooner!**


	27. To wait

**Hello lovelies! How are you? I hope your awesome cause I'm doing awesome! Hell, I'm fucking great. I just want to thank all who read, add this story to their fav's and alerts, and especially to those who review! You melt my cold heart!**

**Big ass shout out and thank you to Fireflymysticval!**

**This girl is the shit and not only did she help me with this chapter and the future one but also with a personal problem. She is so damn amazing - I am honored with her presence :) Oh! She also has an amazing story so read it! Are you reading it?...are you reading now?...how about now?**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

**Edward (POV)**

Taking hesitant steps, I made my way to Alice's room – where she had been for days. It hurt me so much to see my sister in pain, and the hurt intensified knowing that there was nothing I could do to help her. Everything I had tried ended the same way; in complete and utter failure.

Not bothering to knock, I opened the door, stepped inside, and walked to the bed where Alice slept. I sat beside her sleeping form, happy to see that she was no longer tossing and turning in her futile efforts to escape the nightmares that haunted her. I was wary of waking her, especially since she finally seemed to be enjoying her slumber, but I had to; she hadn't had a good meal ever since that horrid night at Bella's. My decision made, I used my hand to gently shake her, in hopes that she would be up to leaving her bedroom. I had no problems giving Alice breakfast in bed; it was just that she needed to leave this room, and the depression it radiated. After a few seconds, Alice stirred; her eyes squinted slightly showing that she was slowly coming back to reality. Alice let out a small moan, letting me know that she was not happy with my interruption, and opened her eyes just to glare at me.

"What do you want?" she murmured, her voice still thick with sleep.

I smoothed the hair out of her eyes, since it had grown so long, and said, "I came to wake you up. I have breakfast for the both of us."

It was obvious, by the look of agitation on her face, that she wasn't happy with my reason. "You woke me up because of food? I'm not hungry so just eat it by yourself," she muttered, annoyed.

I frowned. "Alice, you need to eat something. Come on or else," I threatened.

Alice scoffed, but her eyes narrowed, sensing a threat. "Or else what?" she asked warily.

"Or else I will grab you, carry you, take you to the table, and feed you like a baby. Is that what you want? To be treated like a child?"

"You wouldn't dare," she challenged.

I raised my eyebrow and said, "Do you really want to try me?"

Sighing, she shook her head, and maneuvered her body so she could sit up and get out of bed. Smiling at the fact she was finally getting up, I went to the kitchen to grab our plates filled with food; eggs, waffles, and sausage. When I walked to the dining table, I was so glad to see Alice already sitting down, looking out the sliding doors that led to the small balcony.

"I haven't been taking things well," Alice stated, pointing out the obvious. I couldn't blame her for her reaction though. If I would have been in Alice's place and Bella would have been in Jasper's, I would have been devastated. With tears in her eyes, she continued, "I know I messed up. I should have trusted Jasper and Bella. I mean, I've known them for so many years – the thought of them betraying my trust never should have entered my mind." Alice wiped away her fallen tears. "But I was weak, scared, and utterly confused. I even brought you down with me."

"No you didn't," I replied quickly, but Alice only scoffed.

"Edward, you had doubts, but inside, deep inside you, knew that Bella wouldn't do that to you. But me, I barely had doubts. I was so sure that they were doing something they weren't supposed to. If it wasn't for me you would have trusted Bella more or at least you wouldn't have been so worried."

"It doesn't matter anyway," I said in hopes of comforting her. "Bella and I are still together, so no harm done."

"I guess," she murmured. I pushed her plate towards her, silently telling her to eat. I begged her with my eyes when I saw her reluctance. She noticed my stare, sighed, and picked up her fork. After the second bite of her eggs I relaxed into my chair and ate my own meal.

We ate in silence, except for the sounds of our chewing and our forks hitting our plates, but other than that there were no words exchanged. I didn't mind really; I was used to silence. Thankfully, Alice ate everything on her plate, and even asked for seconds!

After Alice took a one-hour shower, she came out looking like her old-self. Needing to get ready to go to Bella's, I took a shower myself, got dressed, and grabbed my keys. I was half way to the door when Alice stepped out of the hallway and looked at me. Her eyes avoided my presence but her body was angled towards me.

Since she wasn't saying anything, I took the initiative and said, "Yes?"

"Um…" She hesitated. "Can you find out how Jasper is doing?"

I smiled reassuringly. "I will," I told her, but I could tell she had more to say. "Is there anything else that you need?"

Alice's eyes moved to the door as she whispered, "Find out how Bella is doing too."

"Okay," I said softly, slightly wary of fulfilling that order. I wasn't sure what Bella was feeling towards Alice, but I knew they weren't good emotions.

Alice nodded and then left, leaving me alone to think about her small burst of courage. I was proud of Alice. It had been two weeks since Jasper broke things off and left Alice heartbroken. It was like the light had gone out in Alice; she wasn't radiant, happy or energetic. She wasn't Alice. I was able, with the help of Emmett, to take Alice home and tuck her into bed. I was foolish to think that all she needed was some time to herself, but solitude didn't do her any good. She didn't make an effort to leave her room let alone talk to me or anyone else. Then, when Alice did leave the room, she would eat everything in sight, and sometimes to the point when her stomach couldn't handle it and she would throw up in the bathroom. I tried to be there for her emotionally but the only thing I was capable of doing was cleaning up the puke covered bathroom and the mess left behind in the kitchen. I wasn't much help. It was only the last couple of days when Alice stopped eating altogether.

This would be the first time I would leave her, and I was scared. Going to see Bella was fully a selfish act on my part for I desperately wanted to see her, hold her. I also wanted to talk to Jasper. Yes I was angry, but a part of me couldn't help but understand him and what he did. But I was still mostly angry. He didn't need to tell Alice on how he was going to propose to her. That didn't need to be said. He only said it to hurt her, and that was exactly what it did. It tore her heart out. Since the day Alice knew what marriage was she wanted it. She bought magazines, drew pictures, and made plans in her little pink notebook with the purple butterflies on it with matching pink pen with purple ink. So when Jasper told her about no longer proposing, well, it must have been heart crushing. I was not Alice, so I couldn't imagine her pain, but I could guess and say it was an excruciating ache in her chest.

I shook my head sadly and left. I drove with more speed then what some may deem necessary, and some would definitely say illegal, but I didn't care; I needed to get to Bella. I was still amazed that she didn't break up with me for I acted stupidly and I didn't have enough trust. Which was something Bella and I both agreed we needed to work on, but how? Were there exercises? Daily activities that needed to be done to gain, earn, and keep trust?

I didn't know, but I hoped Bella did.

**Bella (POV)**

I was cleaning my mess of a house because I wanted my home to be clean for my man. Jasper and Emmett were both depressed emos who left nothing but messes and dirty dishes behind them when they moped around. They were both lonely and without anyone to love. I get it; I really do, but Jesus. Emmett just watches television, in other words porn. I didn't even think he got turned on by it, I think he just watched it to remind himself on what he was not getting; sex. Jasper goes around quoting miserable people who wrote about and talked about how sad love is.

Every day I have to check their wrists to make sure they were not cutting themselves, because I was seriously worried that that was the next step.

Okay, I admit that I was a little pissed at Alice. I mean seriously, did she have to punch me in the face? Fucking no, but she was angry so she let out her frustration on my face – lucky me. The next time I saw her, I was going to speak to her, because you can bet I had a lot to say. I kind of wanted to punch her too, she did start it so I should finish it, but that would hurt Edward. That was the last thing I wanted to do.

I had just mopped the kitchen floor when the door bell rang. Me, being pathetic, ran to the door, wanting to see Edward because he was the only one I was expecting. So I was pissed the fuck off when I saw a teenage boy in a white shirt and pants with matching shoes and hat. The white on his clothes really brought out the angry acne on his face.

"What do you want kid?" I asked, not bothering to be nice, but when do I ever?

"Are you Isabella Swan?" the boy asked, looking at a clip board. He took his eyes away from the paper he was reading to look at me. When he did, he gasped, and the hands that were holding the clip board shook. He was biting his lip so hard that I was afraid that blood would start spurting out.

_What the fuck is wrong with this kid?_

"The one and only," I replied, wary of the gangly teen in front of me.

"S-sign t-t-t-t-t-hhhhhis," he managed to sputter out as he pushed the clip board towards me. I took the board and signed my name even though I didn't know what I was signing for. "H-hhhhheeere!" he screamed as he thrust a vase of flowers into my hands. With that, he was off. He drove as fast he could in his white van that had a flower shop logo on it.

How weird.

I looked at the assortment of flowers and smiled, thinking that Edward got them for me.

Oh, how wrong I was.

On the card, it said:

_This is just a little something to show you that I'm still thinking about you, that I still want you. Bella, you have made things really hard between us – keeping that boy toy of yours. It's okay, you're confused, but you'll know soon enough. Because if you don't, well, then I'll get desperate and angry. I'll let you know that that's not a good combination. _

_All my love to you,_

_Jacob_

I felt nauseous as I read his card. I grabbed the vase and card and ran outside. Dumping everything in the garbage, I looked around me; feeling like someone was watching me. A shiver ran up and down my spine at the thought. What the hell did that asshole think he was doing? If he thought, even for a second, that I loved him than he was bat shit.

Just wanting to forget, I continued to clean the house. When it was clean, I waited for Edward, as I again ignored the feeling of being watched.

8~*~8

**Mystery (POV)**

_I watched her as she walked around her house. She acted as if she didn't ruin everything, like she didn't destroy me. Oh, but she would find out, and she would realize her mistake. I watched as she threw away perfectly good flowers. _

_Bitch._

_She was looking around, searching the area – she knew I was looking at her. I wondered if she felt the tingling sensation on her back and neck or if a shiver ran down her spine. She stopped looking and went back to her precious house, completely unaware of the fact that I have been here for days._

_Oh Bella, you have no idea what's coming to you_

8~*~8

**Edward (POV)**

I parked my car in Bella's driveway since their cars must have been in the garage. Excitement was my biggest emotion as I took quick steps to the front door. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it.

I saw the knob twist and then Emmett's head poked through. When he saw it was me, he covered the doorway with his massive form and crossed his arms in a threatening manner. "Are you here to touch my sister in inappropriate places?" he asked in all seriousness.

I blushed.

"I'll take that as a yes then," he muttered as he moved to allow me entrance. I stepped inside and nervously waited in the hallway since I didn't know if Emmett wanted to talk to me. "Well, go on. I'm not stopping you."

I nodded gratefully and left in search of Bella. I found her in her bedroom, on her bed, with her eyes closed. I was going to close the door and let her rest when her voice stopped me. "Hey there," she greeted in monotone voice.

I walked to the bed, climbed on top of it, and rested beside her. We stared at the ceiling for awhile before she spoke, but it was merely a whisper so I didn't hear her. I asked her to repeat herself, but she just shook her head and moved so she could place her head on my chest. I ran my hand up and down her back to soothe her as she rubbed my chest with her fingertips.

"I wish I was a virgin," she whispered. My eyes widened in surprise as my hand stilled. She wanted to be a virgin?

"Why?" I asked just as softly.

Bella sat up and put her back against the headboard, so I did the same. She avoided my eyes by looking at her hands as she played with her thumbs. "Things would have been so much easier if I was."

I stayed silent to allow her the time to sort her thoughts and speak her mind.

"If I was a virgin I wouldn't have a past and I wouldn't feel so… I don't know, used up?" Bella shrugged, her eyes troubled and sad. I grabbed her hand and held it tightly. I wanted to take away her sorrow, but I couldn't. I couldn't snap my fingers and make her a virgin again, no matter how much I wish I could. I used to be embarrassed about my virginity, but that changed when I met Bella. Falling in love with Bella made me realize that I wanted her to be the only one I made love to. I wanted her to be the only one I had that experience with.

"You're not used up Bella. It's expected that a beautiful girl like you would have her share of lovers."

Bella scoffed. "I wouldn't call them lovers. There was no love involved. I didn't even like some of them. I wish you could be my first, Edward – my only. "She looked so heartbroken as she told me this.

"Have you loved anyone else?"

She immediately shook her head. "No! Of course not, you're the only man I've ever loved this way."

I smiled. "Then that's all I need, love."

"But -,"

" – No buts Bella. We love each other and that's all that matters. I love you and I know about your past."

"Not all of it," she whispered sadly.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what was to come. "Then tell me, Bella. Tell me every dirty secret, every man, every kiss."

Her eyes widened as her breath visibly quickened. To calm her down, I rubbed soothing circles on her clenched fist that was currently in my lap. I scooted closer and kissed her cheek. Soon enough, Bella was calm, her breathing back to normal.

"Okay, but where the fuck do I start?" Bella asked dumbfounded.

"Well who was your first?" My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. This wasn't a subject I ever wanted to talk about, let alone go into detail, but it was important, for us and our relationship.

Bella's nose scrunched up. "Mike Newton. I'll give him one thing – he was cute, but way too clingy. We were fourteen and he had a crush on me. Although I didn't appreciate it, he was sweet, loyal, and always told me how pretty I was." Bella laughed, her eyes far away. "I didn't love him, mostly because I didn't believe in love at the time… but now I do."

"Why now?" I asked curiously, not realizing that the answer was obvious.

"Because of you," she replied

"Oh…" I muttered with a goofy smile on my face

"Okay, well back to the story." Bella sighed as she got more comfortable on the bed. "So one night, I called him, told him to come over, and he did without hesitation. One thing led to another and we weren't virgins anymore."

I licked my lips as I fidgeted. "Did it hurt?"

"Nah, not too much, he was slow – and careful. It was his first time too so he was nervous. I was one of the lucky ones who didn't have a horrible first time. I fucking swear! Some girl's first times were just horrible; I feel bad for them."

I nodded. I'd over heard girls talking about their first times and many of them weren't pretty. I felt sorry for them, of course. A girls first time should be special since it was such an important thing. Guys should treasure girls when they make love but for many that was not the case.

"So there you go, that was my first time. Then I kind of went crazy after that. When I think about it, I was pretty loose with my affections." She grimaced.

Grabbing her hand, I looked into her eyes, hoping she would see the love I had for her. "It doesn't mean anything to me, Bella. I mean it when I say that your past does not change my feelings for you. I love you; I mean it with every fiber of my being. You are my life now."

Bella's eyes watered as she smiled. "Why is that you always make me fucking cry? I'm turning into a wimp. I hate you," she said playfully as she punched me lightly on my arm.

"I love you, too," I said with a smile on my face.

She smiled as she hugged me. I pulled her down so that we were both lying down on the bed. Bella rested her head on my chest as I held her close.

The more I thought about Bella's regrets the more a certain idea seemed good. But I was scared on how Bella would react. With a shaky breath, I prepared for the worst.

**Bella (POV)**

I was so fucking happy. Seriously, not even the fucking end of the world could ruin my mood. Well, my mood isn't that great… I want to fucking live! Screw 2012!

I couldn't believe I talked about my first time with Edward. It was awkward as fuck, and I was so damn glad that it was over. I started thinking about my sexual past because of those stupid flowers Jacob sent me. If I had never fucked him, he wouldn't be thinking I still wanted him or that he had a chance with me. Sex really did complicate shit.

"Um, Bella?" asked Edward, his voice wary.

"What's up?"

Edward gently moved us into sitting position and then he left the bed and started pacing. What the hell? I asked him what was wrong but he merely grabbed his sex hair and pulled, causing him to grimace in pain. I immediately panicked thinking that talking about my past made him realize that I wasn't good enough for him, that I wasn't pure enough.

Edward glanced at me, noticed my panicked expression, and sighed. He released the hold he had on his hair and stood in front of me. His eyes were filled with nothing but worry and hesitation. I grabbed his hand and encouraged him to speak to me because he was freaking me the fuck out!

"Bella, I think – we should…Oh God!" He started panting; increasing my worry that something was seriously wrong. What the fuck did I do now?

"Edward, fucking tell me!" I screamed, not caring that Emmett probably heard me from down stairs.

"I want us to wait," he whispered, his eyes shutting.

Either what he said wasn't clear or I was really slow because I didn't fucking get what he was trying to say.

"Wait for what?"

He sighed impatiently; slightly annoyed that he had to repeat himself. "I want us to wait!"

"For what?" I shouted again. Okay, I know saying something louder doesn't fix shit or make it any clearer, but hey, he started it.

"I want us to wait to have sex until we're married!" he screamed as he threw his hands up in the air.

_FUCK…MY…LIFE_

That was the last thing that crossed my mind before everything went black.

**I am such a cock blocker, huh? lol do you guys hate me now? I know Bella does! But will they actually go through with Edward's idea? Or will Bella seduce him. A sexually frustrated Bella is no ones friend so maybe Edward will have to fuck her. Have you heard of taking one for the team? ;)**

**Okay, who saw Eclipse and loved it! I saw it three times! No, not for Rpattz, but for my girl. Yup I have a total girl crush on a certain Twilight girl. No I am not a lesbian but I would consider it for her lol Can you guess who it is? Fireflymysticval doesn't have to because she already knows! And she better not reveal who it is!**

**Reviews make mystery man happy - trust me you don't want to get him pissed**


	28. Marriage isn't on my agenda

**I had the first part of this written and then when it was time to write the second part...blank. I came up completely blank. I blame writers block, it's terrible for both the writer and readers. I'm sorry, hopefully next chapter won't take too long. Please excuse any mistakes cause my Beta is having computer problems and I have no idea when it will be fixed. I miss her :(**

**I want to say that I love all my readers and reviewers!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight. FML**

**Edward (POV)**

She…she…Bella fainted.

As soon as she processed my words, Bella's body went limp and she fell to the floor with a big thump. I would have caught her if I wasn't so stunned. I either expected her to understand or yell at me, but not faint. I quickly rushed to her side and pulled her into my arms. Bella's beautiful face was calm and she looked like she was sleeping. I gently shook her but her head just bobbled, leaving me feeling guilty for telling her anything. I needed to learn to keep my stupid mouth shut. Although I was hesitant to leave her, I decided that shaking her would only cause her head trauma. I put her down gently, got up, and rushed to the restroom. Turning on the faucet, I cupped my hands together and put them under the water so that I could use my hands as a bowl. When my hands were filled up, I left the restroom, and being careful not to spill anything, went to Bella.

I stood over her, wary of what I was about to do, but I had to; there was nothing else I could do. Letting out a large gust of air, I dropped the water onto Bella's face.

_Please don't hurt me, love_

Her eyes immediately opened as soon as the water hit her face. She sat up, her eyes searching the room as she breathed heavily.

"Bella, it's me. I'm so sorry, but you fainted and I didn't know what else to do," I explained, my words coming out so fast I doubted that she understood them.

Bella squinted her eyes, trying to see through the water that ran down her face. Using her hands, she rubbed her face and neck to wipe away the water. "Fuck," she muttered, blinking rapidly.

I kneeled down and grabbed her hand. She looked at me, but didn't say a word, she merely stared in concentration. "Are you okay, love?" I whispered, worried that me talking would just make her faint again.

"I'm wet," she stated. I couldn't help but chuckle, but I stopped immediately when she glared at me. "Can you tell me why I'm wet?" she asked in a harsh whisper.

"Um, you fainted because of what I said so the only thing I could do to wake you up was to get some water and…yea," I ended awkwardly.

"What could you possibly say to make me faint…oh…oh! I remember now!" Bella's eyes widened when everything seemed to have come back to her. "Fuck me," she muttered, "oh wait, you won't."

I frowned. "I'm sorry Bella, I never should have said – "

Bella put her fingers to my lip to stop me from speaking further. She sighed, dropped her fingers from my lips, and scratched her head. "Sorry about that – I didn't mean to be a bitch. Even though I don't like it, I will stick to your decision, no matter how much it kills me. Just know that if I die of sexual frustration you will have no one to blame but yourself, you ass."

"So you're okay with waiting?" I wanted to make sure. I couldn't even begin to understand how hard this was going to be for her, and the fact that she was willing to wait showed how much she loved me.

She sighed. "Yes I am. This is what love does to me – makes me fucking crazy."

I couldn't control myself when I pulled her into a passionate kiss. Our lips met, and we being our impatient selves, our tongues came not too far behind. I would never tire of her taste, of the sensation of our lips in sync. We continued to make-out like teenagers when Bella gently pushed me away. Worried that I did something wrong, I asked her if everything was okay. "Yea, but if we continue kissing like that I may tie you down and have my way with you against you will."

I gulped as a rush of blood went into my member as thoughts of Bella tying me down filled my head.

It was then that I realized that waiting was going to be harder than I thought.

8~*~8

"Jasper, can I talk to you?" I asked as I entered his room in Bella's house. When I walked in, Jasper was sitting at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, and his arms resting on his knees.

"_I am tired of talk that comes to nothing_," Jasper muttered, quoting Chief Joseph. Sighing, I sat next to him on the bed, deciding to patiently wait, but waiting grew old after awhile. Jasper was in pain, that I could understand, and it was easy to see that the separation from Alice was severely hurting him. The thing he needed to understand was that sitting here wouldn't fix their problems, nor would it bring them back together any sooner.

"I get that Alice hurt you with her accusations," I said quietly, "but that doesn't mean you had the right to hurt her that way. Jasper…you have no idea how much – how _badly _she wants to get married. And this whole separation thing, well, it's safe to say it's hurting the both of you. Instead of just waiting here, talk to her. That's the only way things will get fixed and then you can go back to being happy together."

He didn't respond. He just sat there, unmoving. Truthfully he was getting on my nerves, mostly because he wasn't responding.

So I said, "_There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved_." I quoted George Sand in hopes that it would get a reaction out of him. Jasper dropped his hands from his face and looked up, his eyes meeting my own. It was obvious that Jasper was also struggling because his face was covered in facial hair; the bags under his eyes made him look older than he was, and his face held wrinkles caused by frowning deeply.

"I'll talk to her," he said, determination filling his tired features. I smiled because he was finally going to do something. Alice needed Jasper to be happy and I needed Alice to be happy, meaning I needed Jasper to do something, but I would have to let him know that he could never hurt my sister that way again. I wouldn't stand for it.

"Good, but I have still have to talk to you if you're going to continue your relationship with my sister."

8~*~8

**Bella (POV)**

"Alice, open the fucking door woman! I know your ass is in there!" I shouted as I banged on Alice's apartment door. After a couple of more seconds of banging, Alice opened the door looking fearful.

"Hello," she said quietly. She let me into her apartment, which wasn't too shabby, and I marched in cause I was on a fucking mission. I paced their living room as I tried my best to sort out my thoughts, but that didn't work out so well.

"YOU PUNCHED ME! YOU FUCKING PUNCHED ME! WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT?" I screamed, my face growing hot as every word poured out of my mouth. "Seriously Alice, how could you fucking think I would sleep with Jasper? Not only would that be gross, but I would never do that to you. We've been friends for so long and it hurts that you could actually think those things about me and him. Jebus, where was the fucking trust!"

After I was finished with my rant, Alice grabbed my hand and led me to a black couch. We sat down, and eventually, after a lot of staring into space, we spilled our guts, our fears, and the misunderstanding that threatened to tear us apart. In the end, Alice was crying and we were holding each other. I'm telling you, my life is turning into a Lifetime movie, damn it.

We broke out of our hug and returned to sitting comfortably on the couch, facing each other.

"So now that everything is sort of back to normal I can seriously use that girly brain of yours. I would have gone to Jasper but he is worthless," I explained.

Alice used her hands to wipe away the tears that remained on her bony cheeks. "What's wrong with Jasper?" she asked quietly, but her voice was filled with curiosity and worry. I realized then that they had basically had no contact with each other. I seriously wondered how they survived the whole separation thing. Jasper and Alice were never apart for too long, and when they were, they would call and text each other whenever they could. It use to annoy me, but that was because I didn't realize how much you could miss a person, how much you could need someone in your life. Edward showed me that.

"Oh, you know… He's just an emo mess, nothing big." Her eyes visibly widened at my words. I'm guessing she thought she was the only one suffering from the breakup. I could tell she wanted to go more into it but I'm selfish and I wanted to talk about me damn it! I really needed Alice to help me out, cause fuck, I needed another opinion. I needed someone to give it to me straight, and Alice was the only person I had right now. "Edward dropped a huge bombshell on me!"

Alice face transformed into one of pure happiness. She clapped as she bounced in her seat, her eyes shined as her grin grew. "He asked you to marry him! Oh my fucking… wait…Did you say yes? Please tell me you did! Oh my, can I plan your wedding! We can go shopping for your dress and –"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…. Whoa. He did not ask me to marry him. Holy fuck, I would be in a fucking coma or some shit if he did."

Alice's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, her eyes held sadness, as she leaned forward a little. "Do you not want to marry my brother?" she asked, her voice sounding distressed.

I stared at her… for what felt like years, because that's just how baffled I was. Did I want to marry him? Did I want to get married at all? When Edward said he wanted to wait to have sex until we're married, well that kind of implied that we'd get married someday, but did I want that kind of commitment? Marriage is fucking huge – a big deal that should be taken seriously, but I had never actually seen a good marriage.

My parents had a good marriage, but looked what happened! After my dad died, things went to shit – my mom went crazy. Sure, she remarried again, but the guy is a total dick with a stupid job. A baseball player! Are you fucking kidding me with that? He isn't even good.

So was it possible for me to have a good marriage? A happy, fulfilling one filled with love and days worth cherishing? I didn't know.

"I don't know," I admitted.

Alice frowned. "You love him, right?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. I knew I loved him, that wasn't the problem.

"Then why wouldn't you want to marry him?" she asked, not understanding my dilemma.

"Marriage just doesn't seem like a good idea for me. I mean what if I do something to fuck it all up and we get a divorce? I couldn't live with myself if I wasted Edward's time and life."

Alice grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "Don't think like that, Bella or I'll beat you!" She laughed. "Marriage is a beautiful thing and it's even more awesome when it's strong and filled with love. Just because you haven't had the best experiences doesn't mean that you can't have a good future with Edward. And besides, as soon as you guys say 'I do' you can fuck all you want."

I laughed as I punched her hard on her arm. "I've missed you."

She smiled as she rubbed her red arm. "I've missed you, too."

Going back to the original topic, I asked, "So what do I do if he asks."

Alice sighed, her eyes brows furrowed, her mind deep in thought. "Well, as much as I hate to say this, if he does ask you to marry him, don't say yes."

I stared at her in shock, my mind blown away. "You want me to say no," I stated slowly, my mouth said the words, but it didn't feel right, the whole 'no' thing.

"Yup," she said, no doubt in her voice, but I continued to stare at her in confusion. Alice noticed and rolled her eyes. "Bella, it wouldn't be right for you to say yes if you had so much doubt – it was just hurt Edward and you more in the long run. When he asks, and I know he will one day, you need to be absolutely sure. Because if you say yes, and you regret it…." Her voice trailed off, but I understood where she was headed.

I had one thought running through my head over and over again.

_How could I regret spending the rest of my life with Edward? _

8~*~8

"We're home!" I shouted as me and Alice walked into my house. Alice walked timidly behind me, because she wasn't sure if she would be welcome here – with Jasper here and all. You have no fucking idea how hard it was for me to convince her to come here, but I needed her to do something. Jasper and Alice weren't going anywhere and they were meant for each other so I'd be damned if I didn't push her to do something about this whole misunderstanding. Besides, Jasper's depression was starting to get to me and I hated being depressed.

Emmett didn't move from the couch, he merely grunted in response as he mindlessly flipped through TV channels. Emmett was obviously not in the best of moods. He is turning into such a PMS-ing chick. Emmett was another problem, but his issue wasn't as easy to fix. I know what he needed, what he wanted, but I was too selfish to give it to him.

Edward and Jasper did walk over to us, but Jasper stopped abruptly, surprised to see Alice. He was certainly not expecting her.

They stared intently into each other's eyes, while Edward and I stood around awkwardly, watching their silent conversation. Moments later Jasper and Alice where in each other's arms, embracing like they hadn't seen each other in years. Smiling, I went over to Edward, grabbed his hand, and led him to our bedroom. That's right, our bedroom. It was practically his since he was in there so much.

"Let's give them some privacy," I explained as we went up the stairs. Then we were in our bed, our arms around each other as we cuddled on the bed. Only in his embrace did I really feel like I was home, that I was safe and loved. "Edward?"

"Yes?" he whispered, humming in contentment as I rested my head on the crook of his neck. I was about to take a big step in our relationship, but I couldn't find it in myself to be scared or nervous mostly because I didn't do nervous, confidence was something I was comfortable with, but Edward brought out so many emotions inside me, some bad and some good.

"I want you to move in with me." I decided that I needed to know what it would be like if we lived together, because married couples live together. I wanted to know what it would be like going to sleep with him, and waking up to him every day. I wanted to know all his quirks: did he need his socks in a certain way; did his toothpaste need to point north, or what?

"Really?" he said, trying to hide his excitement. He moved us so he could look into my eyes. His green eyes always left me breathless, but I would never admit it. They were just so green and bright, and they shined every time he smiled.

"Yup, and besides, my man shouldn't live with his sister if he has a girlfriend with this big house, and a lonely bed that gets cold when he's not in it." I smiled as his beautiful crooked smile appeared. Damn, my man was so gorgeous and he didn't even know it.

He kissed me with so much passion that I felt I would combust if we didn't stop for air. We were both smiling like idiots as we continued to cuddle until we fell asleep.

Sure it wasn't sex, but I must admit that cuddling isn't so bad.

Oh fuck, who am I kidding? Cuddling is the bomb.

8~*~8

**Mystery (POV)**

So she's moving the boyfriend in, eh?

I saw as they brought in his stuff into her house, they were both smiling like the little fuckers they were. The boyfriend might be an additional problem for me. It's bad enough she has a fucking rhino for a brother. Also she has those friends of hers that never seem to leave.

I needed that bitch alone.

8~*~8

**Bella (POV)**

Alice and Jasper walked up to Edward and I. We were currently in each other's arms, lying down on the couch, watching television. We had moved Edward in and everything was great. Sure, there were things that bugged me, like the way he was so neat while I liked to be a little messy, and how his nightly routine clashed with mine, but overall he was worth it. The good greatly outweighed the bad.

I asked them what was up, since they were both smiling so hard. Well they've been smiling every since they got back together, and they've been inseparable since. Jasper finally got the fuck out of my house and was now living with Alice. I still had a moping Emmett, but I wasn't sure what to do with him.

"Well, I got you a little something to thank you for forgiving me," Alice said happily.

I jumped up from Edward's arms and immediately asked for my gift. They all laughed at my excitement, but I could tell they were secretly jealous because they weren't getting anything. I loved presents and my birthday and Christmas were so far away. "Give it to me!" I demanded. She handed me a box and it felt heavy! Everyone knows that heavy gifts are the best gifts. I opened the box and looked inside. "Alice?"

"Yes, Bella?" she replied, bouncing in place.

"What the fuck is Twilight?"

**Haha, I had to add that.**

**So no one has theories to who the mystery person is? Hmmm...**

**I hope you guys realize that Bella fainting to what Edward said was actually kind of realistic. Sex was and will be a major part of her life, and when it's suddenly taken away from you...well the results can be tragic. lol**

**I WANT TO RANT about something that bugs the fuck out of me. I want to rant about HATERS. They annoy me. A couple of days ago an email was sent to me with a link, a very close friend sent this to me. It was a blog page showing how much they hate all 3 Twilight girls. My friend was deeply annoyed by this so she sent it to me. When I looked at the page - and now I really wish I didn't - I found that there was so much hate by catty girls to Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, and Nikki Reed. First I have to say that who ever created this blog is stupid and has problems. If you hate them so much forget about them! Why would you want to have them in your life if you hate them? Let's say you hate...I don't know...Lady Gaga! You hate her so your not gonna look her up on YouTube right? No you aren't cause you fucking hate her so why would you want to contribute to one of her videos? Exactly. The comments and post were absolutely terrible and I wish that neither of these girls read it because if I were them this blog would break my heart. You know how they say us girls got to stick together? Well that is bullshit. It's sad to say that we can be such bitches to each other. Girls can be mean, hurtful, jealous, envious, and all these other bad things. We're human so it's sort of expected, but come on people. I understand that you don't have to like them, but hate? YOU DON'T KNOW THEM SO HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU HATE SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW! And no, watching interviews and their movies does not mean you know them. If your one of these people who have a blog who hates on someone or a twitter, a facebook, a myspace, or something else, I have to ask WHY? IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THEM! I admit, I don't like all of them, but I don't hate any of them because I don't know them personally. I just want people to realize by posting Blogs on how much they hate these girls just shows how stupid THEY are and how horrible people can be. The Twilight girls don't need their haters. Why? Cause they make so much money and they have billions of fans who DO like them. So really, just stop with the hate - it's pointless and bad for the soul.**

**Please excuse my rant but I had to let it out. Cuss me out all you want, or you can agree with me, whichever is fine.**


	29. Freak out

**Hello everybody! Thanks to all who support and read this story and of course those who review :) They make me so happy**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

**This was edited by the oh so lovely fireflymysticval. This girl is so awesome, she seriously rocks my socks.**

**Bella (POV)**

I dropped all four books – Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn – onto Alice's lap as she sat on my couch in my house. I didn't even know why Jasper and Alice had their own apartment – they spent most of their time here. She looked at the books, smiling as she stacked them up neatly, and put them down on the floor.

"Didn't you just love them?" she asked, her love for those stupid books shining in her eyes. I wanted to smack her for even thinking I would like it.

"No I didn't Alice. In fact, I'm a little pissed off at you for giving me those lame-ass books that completely wasted my time and life." She rolled her eyes as she pulled me down so I would be sitting next to her on the couch.

"Oh shut it! Let's talk about it! Okay, how did you like the first one?" Alice made herself comfortable as she maneuvered her body to face me.

"It was so stupid. A vampire and a human in love? Puh-lease. Things only got interesting when that one vampire with the special nose or something took an interest in the human girl, but then the author totally cheated readers by not writing the disposal of his body! I want some action scenes! I don't care about her hearing an angel and her feeling like she was on fire."

"Okay, how about the second one?"

"That one got me angry! This vampire dude supposedly loves her so he leaves? What kind of fucked up shit is that?" I questioned.

"He left to protect her!" she defended.

"And look what that did! Then she went all emo which I have no idea why because does she not realize there is a hot wolf boy who totally wants her."

Alice groaned. "Please tell me you're not Team Jacob!"

I looked at her, my confusion evident. "Who is that? No, I'm on Team Wolf boy! Well anyway, right when there is chance she can be happy with wolf boy that one happy chick shows up and fucks everything up. Then the human girl goes off to save the vamp boy when she should have stayed because he fucking left her! The douche leaves her and she acts like he wasn't the reason she had been depressed for so damn long. Things happen with the group of freaks and then guess what happens in the end? She forgives him! So damn easily! Grr…."

Alice laughed at my summary. "What about the third one?"

"The third one was the best because I had some hope that she'd pick wolf boy, but I was so fucking disappointed when she got engaged. And the main vampire dude is such a prude! Who wouldn't want to fuck their girlfriend? Well other than Edward."

"And the fourth one?"

"Two things pissed me off in that one – she got pregnant and there was no battle. The baby annoyed me and so did her name. Who the fuck names a kid that? She's lucky she is half-vampire because otherwise she'll get her ass beat by other kids. So the author writes pages and pages about preparing for a fight and in the end there is no fight? What. The. Hell. I hated them all truthfully."

Alice looked disappointed but didn't voice it. I could tell she wanted to say something, but I guess my reaction to the books was stopping her. I encouraged her to speak and it seemed to work because she said, "So I guess you don't want to watch the movies?"

If I would have been drinking something, I would have spit it out. "They made movies out of these?" I said, motioning to the books on the floor.

"Yup, and I think you'll love the lead actor – he is so hot, but the blonde one is so damn gorgeous."

I told her I would considerate it, but ever since I read those books a question wouldn't leave my head. So I decided to ask Alice since she seemed like a fucking expert on the books. "Hey, Alice?" She looked up. "What did the vampire dude do when the human girl was on her rag?"

Alice opened her mouth, but then she slowly closed it. She didn't know what to say. "I…I don't know."

So we sat there, both of us wondering what the hell they did when she had her monthly bleeding session. I mean did he leave her alone those days or did he use his mouth as her personal maxi pad? The possibilities were endless.

8~*~8

"Jasper!" I called after him as he walked up the stairs. He turned around and smiled when he saw me. He walked down the stairs to meet me in the bottom, and asked me what was up. I looked around; made sure the coast was clear, before I spoke. "When are we going again? We still need to get the supplies, and figure everything out. We haven't done much. We were supposed to have several things fixed already."

Jasper sighed as he ran a hand through his curly blonde hair; he had clearly forgotten the commitment we made. "You're right, you're so right. I can't this week, but I can be all yours next week. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good, but what are we going to tell Alice and Edward. I don't want them to know, well at least not yet, mostly because I want things to be set up when we do tell them. I want to show them the finished project."

"Bella, when we do finish…what are you going to tell Emmett?" Jasper asked, his concern on the subject showed he had been thinking about it for a while.

"I don't know how he'll react, but fuck this is so important to me, maybe he'll look at it as a good thing. I just really hope he doesn't look at it and bolt. But I don't know why he would. I have bad memories, not him."

Jasper shrugged, but the look of concern didn't leave his face. I was worried too because Emmett wasn't in the greatest of moods lately, so finding out about our project might make him explode, but I wasn't sure.

8~*~8

I walked into Rosalie's office, shutting out the voice of the annoying girl who told me I wasn't allowed back here without Mrs. Hale's permission. Well fuck that! If I wanted to see Rosalie, I was going to see Rosalie.

Rosalie stared up at me in shock, since she obviously wasn't expecting me. Fuck, I wasn't even planning on coming here, but I did and I was here. I was sick of Emmett being so damn sad all the time. I missed my fun, happy brother. Yea, that's right, I missed him. He wasn't acting like my brother anymore, he acted like a robot that did everything it was suppose to do, but without emotion, and that was no fun. Truthfully, I was waiting for Rosalie to come to me, but she never did and I was tired of waiting for her to own up.

"What are you doing here?" Rosalie questioned harshly, her mean demeanor coming out in full force. She should know by now that she doesn't scare me, if anything her bitchy ways just irritated me, and heck sometimes they made me laugh.

"I'm here to fix the mess that happened fucking ages ago," I announced, feelings that I had buried long ago resurfacing.

"You…you don't mean…" her voice trailed off, not believing that I would come here to discuss the very thing that tore our friendship apart. It wasn't like it was a huge deal, now that I think about it, but it was us that made it into what it was. We made it a big deal. We allowed it to break the friendship we once cherished.

"We need to get over it Rosalie, if not for us, for Emmett." Her face softened when I mentioned his name, and that showed me that I made the right choice by coming here. She missed him, too. "It's not like Royce it is worth this shit." Rosalie sat down and motioned me to sit down, too. Any other day, I would have been pissed, thinking that she was trying to tell me what to do, but not today. Today we were going to get over our rivalry and hatred. Sure, I knew we wouldn't become best pals quickly and maybe we would never be able to get back our old friendship fully, but anything had to better than what we were now.

"So what do we do? Say sorry and the both of us will say it's our entire fault?" Rosalie questioned, her voice hard, but she wasn't pushing me out the door like I thought she would.

"No because I'm going to admit it was my fault," I said, my voice soft. Rosalie's eyes widened at my admission. I had always blamed her for what happened, I painted myself as the victim when I was everything but. "I went after him when he was clearly yours, and to this day I don't know why. You were so happy with him, I guess I wanted that."

"When I think back, I don't know why I was happy with him – he was a douche," Rose admitted. I chuckled because it was true, he was a douche.

"I still had no damn right to steel him out from under you."

"And I had no right to do the same."

Years ago, when Rose and I were friends, Rose dated this guy name Royce. He swore he was the shit, when of course he wasn't, but Rose liked him, she liked him a lot. They were so happy together – I hated it, and purely for selfish reasons. I was going through a rough time, and I was feeling depressed, so seeing Rose so happy made me angry. I did some things and shit happened and then Royce wasn't with Rose anymore – he was with me. Rose was devastated, either because she lost Royce, or because I took him away from her. We, of course, didn't talk while I was with Royce, but at the time I didn't care because I was happy. Then one night, I went to Royce's house to surprise him with dinner, but in the end I was the one who was surprised. Royce was fucking Rosalie in his bed when I walked inside his bedroom. That was when things went to deeper shit between us. We stopped all contact; we never saw each other until recently of course.

"What ever happened to Royce anyway?" I asked, although I didn't care about that sonofabitch.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I dumped his ass. He wasn't worth my time or our fight. It was two weeks after you walked in on us that I felt like a total bitch for what I did, but I was just so angry at you. I wanted you to feel what I felt."

"I started the whole thing; I'm the only one to blame. I just hated you for being happy, as stupid as it sounds, I felt like you were rubbing it in my face. I just… I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the hurt I caused you, and for ruining a fucking great friendship." Those words were so hard for me to say – I hated apologizing and I didn't do it often. I had to swallow my pride on this, otherwise nothing would be fixed and Emmett would live the life of an old fat man who did nothing but watch TV and scratch his balls all day.

Rosalie let out a surprised breath, shocked that I would actually say sorry. Fuck, I was shocked, too. After a while, she smiled, like she really smiled, teeth and all. "Thank you. You have no idea how much I've waited for you to say those words to me. Oh, and I'm sorry, too. Just because you hurt me doesn't me I had the right to retaliate."

I nodded and accepted her apology. Unlike me, Rosalie didn't apologize at all, so her admitting that she was also in wrong was damn right weird. She didn't have much to apologize for; I was the one who started all this shit, which is why I needed to end it.

"I know we can't just jump right back to being best friends again, but I was wondering if we can be acquaintances." I wanted to laugh at my words. Who the fuck said acquaintances anymore?

Rose smiled, letting out a small chuckle. "I… I actually would like that," she admitted, her voice merely a whisper.

I stood up to leave, not being able to handle all this mushy stuff, but before I left I had to ask for a favor. "Rosalie?"

"Yes?"

"Please get your ass back to my brother!"

8~*~8

**Emmett (POV)**

I was doing my usual routine – eating chips, watching porn, and kicking it back – when the door bell rang.

_Fuck my life; no one is here to answer the door_

I didn't want to, but I got my ass off the couch – which took a lot more effort than I thought – and went to the door.

When I opened the door, I saw the hottest woman I had ever seen.

"Hello, Rosalie."

"Hello, Emmett."

That was all it took. Every ounce of pain, every drop of hesitance disappeared. I was going to fucking marry this girl, I damn right knew it.

I pulled her into me and I knew for a fact that I gave her the best kiss of her life.

8~*~8

**Edward (POV)**

Bella and I were currently inside a grocery store, filling up our cart full of food for the house, our home. It made me giddy just thinking about it as our home. I lived with Bella now, and although sometimes it was hard – for we were still adjusting – it was all worth it.

We were in the junk food aisle when Bella came to an abrupt stop. I stopped the cart and went to her, worried that something was wrong. I took in our surroundings, not finding anything that would cause us harm, for there were only two men, an elderly woman, and a woman with her young child in the aisle with us. None of them could be of any danger to us, but Bella seemed to have thought otherwise, unless of course there was something else that bothered her.

"Bella, love, what's wrong?" I asked her, standing in front of her, putting my large hands on her heart-shaped face. Bella's eyes snapped out of its trance and they focused on my eyes. It hurt me to see pain and guilt in her beautiful brown eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to take it away, but I had to know what was troubling her first, otherwise nothing could be done. In the hopes of comforting her on some level, I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly, but she didn't hug me back, her body was stiff yet her arms were limp at her sides. My concern for her only grew when she shook her head frantically. Her body came back to life, but in the worst way. She pushed me away roughly, causing me to stumble slightly, and then she bolted, running towards the parking lot.

I stared after her in shock, completely stunned as to why she ran away. Horrible thoughts and memories filled my head. Was she leaving me again? Was moving in with me too much for her so she ran? I tried to block these thoughts, I really did, but I couldn't help but think them, and they caused my heart to race and my hands to sweat. I wouldn't be able to handle if Bella left me, not now, especially since my feelings for her were so deep. I would never recover.

Ignoring the stares of strangers, and our cart, I ran after her. I followed her to the car where she stopped and leaned against the passenger door – I had the keys, so she couldn't get in. She looked like she had just seen a ghost; she was pale, her body trembling, and her eyes were shut tightly. Not wanting to alarm her, I walked slowly to her, hoping that my presence would soothe her like her presence does mine. Gently, I put my hands on her shoulders, putting us face to face. When she didn't jerk away – although she did flinch – I wrapped my arms around her and told her quietly that everything was going to be okay and that I was here. Moments later, her trembling stopped. I felt her take deep breaths, causing her body to relax further, but I could still feel her body on alert, like it was waiting for the ghost to pop back up again, and maybe it was.

"Are you better, now?" I asked, my arms never loosening its tight hold.

She nodded, and then she returned my embrace, her face in my neck. I felt her breathe me in, her body calming, and I was so glad that just my scent could make her feel better. "Can we get out of here?"

"Of course, love." I wanted to know why she reacted the way she did, but I thought it was best to wait until we got home. I just hoped she would tell me, let me in. I wanted to help her with her burdens, her fears. That's what couples do – they allow their partner to help them, to share the baggage the other carried.

When we arrived home, Bella rushed out of the car, and walked quickly into the house. With a sigh, I followed her into the house – at a much slower pace – and walked up the stairs into our bedroom. I saw her on the bed, laying on her stomach, her arms and legs spread out, and I faintly heard her mumble something into the sheets.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong?" I asked as I sat on the bed and stroked her hair. She lifted her head, and I saw in her eyes that she was afraid and worried and most of all she was freaked out about whatever happened at the grocery store.

"Edward, I love you." She reached up and kissed me. She kept on repeating how she loved me, and that I was everything to her. Truthfully, although her words were beautiful, it worried me. The way she said the words in desperation freaked me out, making me question what happened to cause this. "Can you just hold me? Is that…is that okay?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Of course, love." I pulled her into my arms and soon enough we were both asleep.

**Bella (POV)**

I saw it. I saw my past, that for some reason, refused to let me forget my mistakes.

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**What or who did Bella see that made her freak out?**

**Who do you think the mystery person is?**

**What did you think of the reason why Rosalie and Bella hated each other? Truthfully, Bella started everything, but her being herself she wouldn't admit it until now.**

**PLEASE CHECK OUT MY BLOG I will be posting my new story there called Realize**

**Here is the summary to my new story that will be posted soon on my blog - **

_Edward and Bella have always been best friends. While Bella spends her time sleeping around, Edward searches for a serious relationship. He soon finds it in Tanya. Several events, life altering changes, and serious eye openers make Edward and Bella realize that what they've been looking for is each other._

_Edward - I saw them together. They were so close, too close. That should be me with my arm around her. That should be me feeling her love. But I realized that I shouldn't be feeling these things. I could never allow Bella to realize that she broke my heart every time she looked at him with love in her chocolate eyes._

_Bella - The way Edward held her made me envious. The fact that she was able to call him hers made me angry. She didn't deserve him, but neither did I. I didn't like her for various reasons, and those various reasons only grew by the second. I know I can never have him, so why should she?_

**The link to my blog is on my profile!**


	30. Bust a ninja

**Conversation between jess and val**

**Val **says:

*if edward and bella break up or end up in the hospital i will hunt you down

**Jessica** says:

_*edward and Bella will not break up, but the second one...*grins evily*_

**That was just a conversation between me and val over this chapter :) **

**Thank you so damn much for reviews, and also a thank you for reading this story.**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

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**Bella (POV)**

I was still shaken up by the whole thing. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Edward, and even Rosalie asked me what was wrong, but I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to forget I saw him. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Well, he wasn't in my sight anymore so he shouldn't be in my thoughts.

Having Rosalie back in my life wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure, there were some awkward moments here and there, we still argued a lot, and we still had the habit of telling each other mean comments, but everything was no longer laced with deep hatred. The animosity was gone, maybe not completely, but mostly. What did disgust me was the fact that Rosalie and Emmett couldn't keep their hands off each other. I was so horny, and my body ached for what was it was being deprived of, but I wasn't going to seduce Edward to fuck me. No matter how much I wanted to.

Alice and Jasper weren't here today, since they were at work. Rosalie was off doing her job and so was Edward. Edward got a job at a music store, giving kids piano lessons. Now if only Emmett would get a job.

"Watching TV again? Jeebus, you're going to rot your brain with this shit." I sat down next to Emmett on the couch, staring at the television that was currently playing cartoons. You'd think my brother would have out grown this. Well at least he isn't watching porn anymore, but why would he? He had Rosalie now. I wondered only for a second, if Emmett would lend me his porn collection.

"It's not like there is anything else to do," Emmett said, trying to hide his annoyance, but it wasn't working.

"Oh yes there is. I heard a certain girlfriend of yours has been trying to get you to work for her." Emmett got angry as soon as the words left my mouth, but I had no idea why. I mean, his girlfriend was offering him a job, a job that he needed.

"Not you, too!" He growled. "I don't want to work for her, damn it. Everyone would make fun of me, and do you know how demeaning it is to work for your girlfriend? I would totally lose my man card," he explained.

I shook my head as I rolled my eyes. My brother, just like me, could be very stubborn and small minded. Emmett hasn't had a job in a fuck long time, and I knew it bugged Rosalie. Bugging Rosalie wasn't the smartest thing a person could do. Emmett needed to get his act together before Rosalie dumped his ass.

"Yea, because watching cartoons is _so_ manly," I said, motioning to television.

"Bella, please just drop this," he pleaded.

"Just tell me why you don't want to work. Is it because you're lazy?"

He shook his head. "It's just that…I'm not good at anything," he said softly.

"Emmett!" I said loudly. "You have a shit load of talent and skills."

He looked at me with one raised eyebrow. "Alright then, name one."

I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Nothing came to mind either.

"Exactly," Emmett muttered.

"You make people smile," I said in hopes that it would cheer him up. I was never good at making people feel better about themselves.

Emmett scoffed and muttered something under his breath and that told me that my words did nothing to make him feel better.

"That can't exactly get me a job Bella," he said, his anger towards himself evident in his voice.

"Well you must be good at something," I told him, speaking my thoughts. I thought back to our lives, trying to think of things that Emmett was good at, and fuck did I feel bad when I couldn't think of anything. Emmett always sucked at school, he was good at sports but not good enough to play in the major leagues, and he was good at picking up chicks but unless he was planning on becoming a prostitute that really wouldn't help him in finding a job.

"I'll find a job Bella. Don't worry," he said, smiling at me.

"Okay bro. I just really want you off this fucking couch you lazy bum." We both laughed, and soon enough I was watching cartoons with him.

I forgot how entertaining they could be.

8~*~8

Rosalie had called me and told me to go to her office at her mechanic's shop. So here I was, but before I went to talk to her, I decided to have a good old chat with Poncho.

I went to his station and spotted him sitting down on a stool, his hands cleaning his tools with a small towel that was covered in dirt and grime. I snuck behind him, making sure to be extra careful, and then I shoved him a little with my hands causing him to jump in surprise. I laughed and he laughed too when he turned around and saw me.

"Ah, _hija! Como estas?"_ He pulled me into a hug, his oil covered clothes meeting my clean, washed ones. When we broke from our hug we laughed, because my clothes had oil stains. It was going to be a bitch to wash those off later.

"I'm good old man," I said, smiling as he pulled out another stool for me. We both sat down and Poncho handed me a dirty towel similar to his. "What's this for?" I asked, confused as to why he was giving me a dirty towel.

"You here so you work," he replied with a smirk, his accent thick. I grimaced but I grabbed a towel from his toolbox – don't ask me what tool it was because I don't know what the fuck it was – and I started wiping off the dirt with the towel. I was just finishing my third tool when I remembered something.

"Poncho, Jacob isn't here is he?"

He immediately shook his head no. "The young man only works part time now, mostly in the late hours." I felt my body relax now that I didn't have to worry about running into Jacob. Poncho and I caught up with each other's lives while we cleaned his tools. When I realize that I had spent so much time with him, I told him I had to go because Rosalie had to talk to me about something. He understood and hugged me goodbye, leaving me with more oil stains on my shirt, but whatever.

Moments later I was in Rosalie's office, watching Rosalie throw a fucking tantrum like a child. She was pacing around the room, occasionally punching a wall as she muttered words under her breath. It was quite amusing. When she heard me chuckle her head snapped in my direction to face me. She stomped towards me and glared at me. Fuck, I swear I saw her eye twitch!

"Is your brother cheating on me?" she asked, her voice filled with venom.

I stared at her in wonder. "What?"

"You heard what I said, answer me!" she sneered.

"Bitch, you crazy," I muttered. I was getting kind of scared. Rosalie had this crazy look in her eyes, and her fingers were twitching.

"Then what other reason is there!"

"For what?" I asked, not understanding why she was freaking out.

"Your brother has been avoiding me, that bastard. I was getting annoyed so I called him, when he answered he said he was busy, and I heard laughter in the background. Not just any laughter, a girl's laughter. "

I sighed as I scratched my head. "Well, there's only one way to solve this mystery."

Rosalie glared at me again – bitch needs to stop that – and put her hands on her hips. "Oh yea, how?"

"We bust a ninja and follow him," I stated, giving her a 'duh' look.

She looked at me for a while, and then nodded.

8~*~8

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Rose muttered for the fucking hundredth time as we sat in my car, waiting for Emmett to leave my house. If she said it one more time, I was going to smack the bitch.

"Well you are, so shut the hell up and wait."

She was going to say something when Emmett walked out of my house and towards his car. He looked around, causing me and Rose to duck, before getting inside his car and driving away.

"Follow him!" Rose screamed.

I rolled my eyes. "No shit," I muttered, driving after him.

8~*~8

"I can't believe this," Rose said, her voice low because she was in shock.

"At least we know he isn't cheating on you," I muttered, looking through the window. We followed Emmett to a pet shop. We got out of the car and we looked inside the window to see Emmett playing with the puppies. Then we saw him put on an apron that had the stores logo on it, and then the fucker started grooming the dogs and giving them baths. He worked here. "What a pussy," I said as I watched him laugh when one of the dogs he was washing shook its body to get rid of the water, causing water and soap to go everywhere.

"It's kind of cute," Rose said, looking at the scene with a dreamy look. I rolled my eyes as I stood up from my kneeling position and dusted off my jeans.

"My stupid ass brother refused to work in a mechanics shop because it would take away his man card, so instead he's working at a pet shop washing puppies. That makes no damn sense!"

Rose stood up and glanced at Emmett one more time before turning her gaze to me. "He didn't want the job because I was offering it to him. He wanted to get a job by himself. I guess he didn't want to tell us he had this job because he was too embarrassed."

"So where just going to pretend that we don't know anything?"

She nodded. "We just have to wait until Emmett tells us on his own time."

I shrugged, sighing as ran my hands over my face. "Okay, then."

8~*~8

I was home by myself, bored as fuck but I realized that I needed to work on my book, which had been seriously neglected. I had written six thousand words when I heard a thumping sound. With furrowed brows, I stood up from my desk and went downstairs. I searched every room, looking to see if someone was here or if something fell. When I didn't find anything, I walked towards the stairs to go back to work. I was about to take the first step when I felt an arm encircle my waist, and a hand cover my mouth, preventing me from screaming as whoever it was held me tightly to its body. From the hard feel, I could tell it was a man that was holding me in a tight grip.

I felt the hot breath in my ear, signaling that his lips were at my ear. "I finally got you alone bitch. You know how long I had to wait for this moment? How long I fantasized about this? You ruined my life and now I'm going to end yours." I felt the arm that was on my waist release me. I started kicking and thrashing, but I stopped when I felt cold steel against my throat.

Fuck, I tried to be strong, but I started to cry like a baby, causing him to chuckle.

_Bastard_

"You destroyed my marriage!" he screamed, his rage evident.

He took that hand that was covering my mouth off to wrap it around my waist to keep me from moving too much.

It wasn't smart, but I yelled at him. "You were the one that wrecked your marriage asshole! You were married and yet you still fucked me!"

He pressed the large knife tighter against my throat, causing a sob to escape my mouth. I worried that if he pressed it any tighter it would draw blood. "What the fuck did you expect me to do, huh? You flaunted your tight ass and tits, so of course I was going to fuck you. That's what you wanted didn't you? You wanted me to fuck you." His voice was cold and sent shivers down my spine, and unfortunately he noticed. "Ah, so you still want me, eh? What? Is your pretty boy boyfriend not able to please you the way I can?" He laughed. "How about one last fuck before you die?" I felt the hand that didn't have the knife slide down my body, and then he cupped my sex, making me whimper as I cried harder.

"Please James! No!" I pleaded.

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**Remember when Bella told Edward about a girl who slept with a guy who turned out to be married? Well that guy was James and he was also the mystery person POV.**

**Please, if you haven't, can you check out my story Realize! It's posted on Fanfiction, so go on my profile and check out my new story!**


	31. Unexpected savior

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...FML**

**Warning: Things get violent, and oh, there's blood. **

**

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****Bella (POV)**

After hearing my begging, James simply laughed, while roughly throwing me onto the floor. Tears fell from my eyes as the side of my face hit the cold floor, stinging my cheek and bruising my arm. I shut my eyes tightly, not wanting to give the sonofabitch the satisfaction of seeing me cry, but the tears made their way out, running down sideways and onto the floor.

I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to get raped. There was so much I wanted to do, so many dreams that hadn't been fulfilled, and so many things that I would never get to see. I wanted to my friends get married. I wanted Emmett to come to me and tell me I was going to be an Aunt, because I knew I would make one hell of an Aunt. I wanted to see Edward get down on one knee and ask me to be his forever, to be his wife. I wanted to see his smile when I said yes. I also wanted. . . I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to see my stomach get big, and no one could make fun of me because I could proudly say I was carrying Edward's child. Our child. I wanted to hear our baby's laughter, and I wanted to hear the first time he or she called me mommy.

But I would never get that because my past doomed my future.

"Hmm, how should I take you? Come on Bella! Tell me how you want it. You never had a problem telling me how you wanted to be fucked." I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but before the words could escape my lips I felt his large hand grab my shoulder. With one swift move, I was on my back, leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable, while James stood over me – a position of power.

Before I could even register what was going on – let alone defend myself – James was on top of me. He used his knees to spread my legs apart and then he went in between them. I fought against him, using my hands to try to push him of me, but it was useless – bastard was much stronger than me. Grabbing my wrists with his hands, he pinned them down over my head, smirking as he looked at me.

Using his body weight, he stopped me from struggling, smiling in triumph before kissing my neck.

"Get the fuck off me!" I screamed, but my screams wouldn't save me. He knew that and so did I. I tried moving but his body was pressed so hard against mine I could only wiggle under him, and the fucker seemed to enjoy it. I wanted to throw up when I felt his hard on. Then I really almost threw up when he started rubbing his dick against me. I felt his hand release one of my wrists so I took that opportunity to hit him with everything in me. With my index finger, I jabbed him in the eye, causing him to let out a pained cry.

When I thought I would be able to push him off, he used his free hand to punch me on the side of my face. Fuck, it hurt so badly. Tiny, white spots clouded my vision. James, using one hand, held both of my wrists, and used the other to rip the top buttons off my shirt, leaving me partly exposed. A sob escaped my mouth as fear crept into my body, my bravery and will to fight slowly vanishing.

Through my tears, I saw James roughly shake his head. His left eye remained squinted, but otherwise he looked like he was no longer in pain. Then his lips were everywhere, and I shook violently against him. He was going to try to take the rest of my shirt off when the sounds of glass shattering filtered through the room.

My tears ceased as hope filled me. James let out a noise, similar to a growl, and then suddenly he was no longer on top of me. I was able to breathe fully again, and I quickly crawled away. My eyes focused on the scene before me, and I gasped out of sheer surprise.

I was saved, and by someone I didn't expect.

Jacob.

They wrestled each other, both using any means to win. Both of them were muscular and they both seemed to be skilled fighters, but James fought dirty. I quickly stood up, but it was difficult to stay standing because as soon as I got up the world started spinning. My hands went to my head, my eyes shut closed, and my breathing was hard. I didn't know what was going on with me, but I hoped that it would stop. Once I got control of my emotions, I opened my eyes to see James on top of Jacob, but that wasn't what caught my attention. They were fighting, yes, but for an object that was held by both of their hands.

A gun.

Whipping my head around, I looked for any object that would help. I saw the lamp and rushed towards it. I grabbed it, but when I pulled it, it didn't completely come loose. I let out an aggravated pant when it continued not to budge. I lost hope for the lamp and I looked around for something else, but a noise stopped me from moving. It was a loud pop. I begged internally as I slowly turned around to see who had shot who.

There was a fight for the gun, and James had won.

Jacob laid there, blood staining his shirt, and gasping for breath, while James stood over him triumphantly. A pained sob escaped my throat, causing James to break away his gaze from Jacob and on to me.

"Looks like your knight and shining armor failed you," James said, smirking.

I made a move to run, to get the fuck out of there and get help, but I stopped when he aimed the gun at me. I didn't know what to do; I mean there wasn't a class at school that told you what to do when someone points a gun at you. Fuck, that class would have come in handy right now.

Coming closer, James played with the safety of the gun, taunting me.

"James, just please go," I begged.

He shook his head. "I can't do that, Bella. Too much has happened, and you've seen too much. Besides, I killed one person, why shouldn't I add another person to the list?"

I started trembling as he got closer.

I was so focused on the gun that I didn't notice Jacob crawling towards James. Using his bloody hand, Jacob grabbed James right foot and yanked it, causing him to fall to the floor.

"Bella grab the gun!" Jacob said, his voice strained and weak.

I saw that the gun had landed a few feet away from James, so I quickly grabbed it, holding it in my trembling hands. James stared at me breathless, his eyes narrowing in on the gun. He remained on the floor, but then used his two arms to support himself as he slowly got to his knees.

"You wouldn't dare," he said as he stood up. I looked at Jacob who was breathing harshly, his face pressed to the floor. Blood was all over the floor, and I felt like gagging. Shit, I had no idea how long Jacob could last or how long I could stay in control of this situation.

"Try me," I said, trying to sound braver than I felt.

He smirked as he took a threatening step closer. "Give me the gun, Bella. I know you won't shoot me."

I bit my lip as the anger built up inside me. Who the fuck was he to tell me what I could and couldn't do? He didn't know shit about me or what I was capable of. I was a cop's daughter for fucks sake!

After I took the safety off I then aimed the gun at James head. Quickly, I lowered the gun and shot him in the leg, causing him to cry out in pain as he fell to the floor.

"Bitch you shot me!" he cried out as he clutched his leg.

Keeping the gun pointed at him, I walked over to the far corner of the room where the phone was. I dialed 911, begged for help, gave them my address, told them my friend and an asshole was shot, and hung up.

I made sure that James wasn't a threat – he was still holding on to his wounded leg – and I slowly knelt down next to Jacob's body. Slowly, I turned him over so he was lying on his back. This caused him to wince in pain as he bit his lip to keep him from letting out a pained cry. His breathing was no longer harsh, but slow and faint.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," I said as I looked at his bloody form, tears welling up in my eyes. He gulped as tears also welled up in his eyes.

"All I ever wanted was for you to love me," he whispered as his eyes closed.

I let out a pained sob as Jacob slowly died in front of me.

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**From the start, I had planned for Jacob to die. Sorry, but I hope you guys like him a little bt better now. I mean, he practically saved Bella...**

**I know that have been EPIC FAIL, and I am sincerely sorry. I never planned on taking this long, but I just lost inspiration for this story. Everytime I would try to write - and oh did I try - nothing would come out. I do promise that I will FINSIH this story. I just beg you to be patient with me. **

**Big thanks to the people below for reminding me that I needed to get my ass in gear. I seriously wouldn't have written this chapter if it weren't for you guys reminding me I had a story to finish:**

**Kerry981**

**nbnb**

**and some anonymous people who reviewed**

**and those who politely and sweetly sent me pms asking when I would update. **


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